amy.k Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I met my fiance last year february. He`s 15years older with children, but I didn`t care about these things, I felt like I met the love of my life. He proposed me 4months later and now we live together since last June. Were planning to get married in dec. The problem started when he came home in april after 3weeks of business trip. I checked his messages and found a deleted one from his older colleague-who was with him on his trip- that she`s not going to let him to destroy me. He told me that they had a fight, so I thought ok, probably it`s nothing. But since then I`m checking his mails and messages, don`t know why. 2weeks ago I found three messages in his phone from B.K., these were porn pictures and movies. My first thought was that it`s one of his friends, but then a week after found one were the secret person is writing how she`s going to suck him... Called the number, well it was a women. Confronted him with the facts, but he said that it`s his ex colleague and it`s nothing, if I don`t trust him let me call her. Then I wrote to the woman and she wrote back that she knows that he`s not in love with her and that she is responsible to but she can`t say no always... I collapsed. Then my fiance said that this woman used to be his f***buddy- I knew that he had a f***buddy before he met me- and that they decided to stay friends cos of the job but that she used to worry him with this kind of messages, but that he`s never replying-I never found a sent message. After the woman wrote me that she`s still in love with him and that she hopes that he`s taking good care of me. But after this she sent him few messages what he wrote her during the last 10months, writing him cos you`re calling me a lier- these are messages that he`s ready for tonight, that the room is ready and etc... I love him so much and I can feel that he is in love with me too but don`t know what to believe in. I like sex, I`m opened for everything, so don`t know why would he cheat me. I really don`t know what to do. We were planning to get married, but now I`m so confused
2sure Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 You knew when you read the first message about "I wont let you destroy her" that your bf was cheating or at least "shopping elsewhere". You knew, but you wanted to talk yourself out of it and did. Yet the part of you that really did know the truth, kept checking for more and you found it - several times over. Yet, you are still trying to talk yourself of it. I cant help there because the truth is the truth. And to be honest, you arent questioning that. You know it. What you are asking is: WHY? You will probably never get a real answer to that question. Certainly not from your BF. I can tell you for sure : Getting a lot of sex at home, getting creative sex at home, having a great home life , having a supportive partner - NONE of those things can stop a cheater from cheating. Cheating is selfishness. It often has nothing to do with whats "at home".
cheatingheart Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 This is an easy one if your question is just whether or not you should trust him. The answer to that is simple and obvious. No, you shouldn't trust him. He's been cheating on you, and if you marry him, he'll continue to cheat on you. If you start asking questions about whether he loves you, or that other woman, or what he's really been doing this whole time, it'll get more complicated. But the easy answer is just: no, you shouldn't trust him.
tami-chan Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Why is why important, Amy-k? This man is not worth your time. Break the engagement and leave him while you are still not married. Do you know why his first marriage did not survive? I am asking this because if he cheats when you are already married and have your own kids, it will be very difficult to walk away...
citizen67 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 You listened to you gut before and it was right. I'm pretty sure your gut is screaming at you right now "YOU CAN'T TRUST HIM" - listen again
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