Untouchable_Fire Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Okay, well, maybe I need Plastic Surgery because who I like doesn't like me back. And those who like me, I don't like. Maybe I should get some breast implants and a few other things to increase my chances of finding an equal attraction Jeeze. I knew this girl in college that would have won any beauty contest hands down, but no guy would date her. There were a ton of guys who had one night stands with her, but nothing serious. Why? Because she was crazy!
Author shadowplay Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 Shadow, as always, you raise provocative questions, and I appreciate that you're not satisfied with extreme examples or platitudes, but instead want to look deeper. For one thing, I think most men and most women are willing to give up a little in looks to gain a lot in personality, but I don't think they're as willing to give up a little in looks to gain a LITTLE in personality. But personality TYPE is also important; it's not just a good personality/bad personality duality. Men are more affected by physical looks than women, on the whole. The thing though is that many attractive men seem to prefer the girl next door type to the more striking types, for a long term relationship. From what I observe (ie, I'm not stating this as a truth) many men like a simple type of pretty, with a slim body, a woman that's down to earth and not too complicated. Women seem more likely to be attracted to unusualness in personality and looks. For men, that's simply not something they seem to value. No value judgment here; I can certainly see the appeal of the girl next door, I'm just too weird in looks and personality to be that. Thanks. I agree with your statement about most people being unwilling to give up a little in looks to gain a little in personality. I've also noticed what you mean about men preferring a certain type of beauty. Women seem to admire a more exotic, modelesque look, while guys are generally drawn to a look that is...dare I say...a bit bland.
You'reasian Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 I agree with your statement about most people being unwilling to give up a little in looks to gain a little in personality. I've also noticed what you mean about men preferring a certain type of beauty. Women seem to admire a more unattainable, modelesque look, while guys are generally drawn to a look that is...dare I say...a bit bland. We guys are easy to please. Who wants to waste precious time and life trying to please someone who is unpleasable (is that a word? lol).
Isolde Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 You don't really hear a lot of guys crushing on Gisele Bundchen, for instance. She's obviously stunning but I don't think a great deal of men would want to date someone who looked like her-- for a LTR. She's just too bold. I could be off base, but that's my theory. Of course, I'm not comparing myself to Gisele and similar It's just an example, of someone with an unconventional look. And I am well aware that men are very diverse, with different tastes, that change over time, just like women. For example, I've found myself attracted both to guys that were unusual and exotic looking and guys that were extremely all American boyish.
alphamale Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 I know physical attraction is what initially draws you to a woman, but once you get to know her fully, does her physical appearance play a large part in why you fall in love with her? yes, its at least 51%
DNU1 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 For me a woman's look just gets her foot in the door. If her personality is crap, or she's a bitch...well then she gets really ugly really FAST!
neowulf Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 I've had a woman knock my socks off from across the room before... ... only to have that horrible sinking feeling as soon as I start talking with her. The best way I could describe the women I've really fallen hard for, was that I "noticed" them. Not a feeling of "Oh man, she's soooo hot", but rather just a second take. Something about them which makes me feel "there's something about you..." Once I start talking with them, usually within 30 seconds I can feel if there's a real connection occurring between us or if it's just friendly chatting. That said, this was from experiences in my early 20's. Now that I've hit my 30's, I'm not sure if I'll find that "wow, we're really clicking" feeling again. A lot of people seem to put that down to hormones
Jersey Shortie Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 You don't really hear a lot of guys crushing on Gisele Bundchen, for instance. She's obviously stunning but I don't think a great deal of men would want to date someone who looked like her-- for a LTR. She's just too bold. I could be off base, but that's my theory. While I think Gisele is a beautiful woman, and a super-model, I do think she is missing something and it's not boldness. Look at someone like Megan Fox. She is stunning. But she is not a nice person. And many men drool over her. Probably even have fantasies about her despite the warm loving woman they probably have in their bed every night. Seems to me as a woman, we are kind of damned either way if men are seperating us into little catagories. Most women want to be both. Very desired by her man and loved.
MissHollywood Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 I've seen men with not-so-good-looking women so I don't think it's all about looks. Or maybe it's in the eyes of the beholder.
MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Or date more men That will not help. No matter what I always attract men that I don't like Figure out what makes you hot and develop that. I can't do anything with this suggestion
carhill Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 That will not help. No matter what I always attract men that I don't like That's your responsibility, not theirs. I attract broken and damaged women. It's not their responsibility that they're attracted to someone who's open emotionally and validates them, it's my responsibility to attract and choose a partner who's healthy for me. You have that same responsibility. Don't blame the world for your problems. Life isn't fair and it doesn't get any more fair when you grow old, trust me
Sam Spade Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Looks actually matter very little. Hang on, it doesn't mean that they don't matter - of course there needs to be physical attraction. But this is important only up to a certain treshold (the MAT - the minimum attractiveness treshold :laugh:, i just made that up, but I'm sure I'm not the first). Anyway, beyond that, behavior and personality determines whether or not you develop feelings (and stronger attraction) (or conversely - lose whatever you had) Case in point - 'objectively' speaking my own gf is pretty, but probably not a knockout (at least not by the MTV standards). Indeed, after first meeting her, being not particularly impressed, I was wondering if it was worth going on more dates. But, looking back, I simply can't understand how I could have had such a perception - it seems like her pretiness increased exponentionally, which is clearly not possible, so it must be all in my head . So, part of it is an aquired taste, I guess, but also her personality really broght things home as far as developing real attraction is concerned. Whether or not you want to cuddle on the couch with someone depends more on their disposition than on how close their facial features resemble a greek god/goddess. Oh well, perfect skin doesn't hurt either . So, if you're a girl, there is basically no need to invest excessive effort in obsessing about looks. If you're a healthy, happy woman, chances are you're plenty attractive for all guys to fall in love with you .
Sam Spade Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Unless MTV is on. True, and there have been actual (academic) studies finding that extent and nature of exposure to different women (e.g. in media or just in life context) exposure to media affects (temporarily) how guys percieve their partners. But the effects dissipate, contingent on factors such as education/baclground, self awareness, etc. So basically most guys are not idiots and can tell the difference between a magazine cover, college girls, and the real world. As far as I'm concerned, this is noise no different than any other advertisment noise. ("Aye, mami, this McDonalds vanilla shake looks good!". So what? It's not like I'm falling out of love with the milk in my morning cereal)
Soul Bear Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 50/50 Looks are important, but so is the connection and the chemistry
burning 4 revenge Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Generally speaking men are less into looks than women
tinklebell Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Generally speaking men are less into looks than women You sure you got the sexes right on this one?!
Jersey Shortie Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 True, and there have been actual (academic) studies finding that extent and nature of exposure to different women (e.g. in media or just in life context) exposure to media affects (temporarily) how guys percieve their partners. Yes, I have read such studies. Sucks for us women. And rather sucky that men are so easily swayed in their opinions of their partners.
MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Generally speaking men are less into looks than women That's totally untrue. Men treat you based on how attractive they fiind you. If you are very pretty to them, they bend over backwards to help you. I wish men were raised to realize that no matter how a woman looks, we all deserved to be treated the same.
You'reasian Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 That's totally untrue. Men treat you based on how attractive they fiind you. If you are very pretty to them, they bend over backwards to help you. I wish men were raised to realize that no matter how a woman looks, we all deserved to be treated the same. Everything starts with an attraction. The thing about attraction is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder - I have been attracted to women whom are fun, funny and are highly intelligent and attractive in their own way to women who were drop dead gorgeous and not socially adept. The one's I made a more serious effort toward were somewhere in between.
Untouchable_Fire Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 That's totally untrue. Men treat you based on how attractive they fiind you. If you are very pretty to them, they bend over backwards to help you. I wish men were raised to realize that no matter how a woman looks, we all deserved to be treated the same. Your talking about teenage boys. I grew out of that around 20. I had a friend that was a foreign exchange student. he once told me that all women are beautiful. It took me some time to understand the meaning behind that, but now that I am older... I know that it's true.
Star Gazer Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 doesn't make a difference. Yes it does. Irish's point - a good one - is that what one is initially attracted to (beauty on the outside) is completely different from what one eventually falls in love with (beauty on the INSIDE).
burning 4 revenge Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Yes it does. Irish's point - a good one - is that what one is initially attracted to (beauty on the outside) is completely different from what one eventually falls in love with (beauty on the INSIDE). women are the more superficial sex, everyone knows that
OpenBook Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 That's totally untrue. Men treat you based on how attractive they fiind you. If you are very pretty to them, they bend over backwards to help you. I wish men were raised to realize that no matter how a woman looks, we all deserved to be treated the same. This is true, at least initially. It is also true in reverse - women treat good-looking men differently upon meeting them. But as they get to know them (both genders), the story changes. It becomes a matter of character and personality. The people who are successful at relationships know how to treat others with respect and dignity. They are friendly and open, but know how to handle bad behavior. They are socially GRACEFUL. These qualities have nothing to do with looks.
c-riouz Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Megan Fox. She is stunning. No, she's not. Of all people JS, you should know that alot of make-up and photoshop can make anyone look good. So don't fall for the media hype and the stereotypes, like all the men already do. Someone has to stay sane, after all.
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