I am sick about this...

June 14, 2009

You are being a bit of a Wanker now, aren't you? Sorry to offend you, you know... but your overused one-liners that you borrowed from some second-hand lawyer at the court serves little purpose here... methinks your NPD and BPD wives rubbed themselves off a little on you... time to present a better version of yourself, isn't it?! hmm[/QUOTe

Sory to be a wanker, but your not making any sense to me. I just cannot see your logic. Did you see the distinction I was making re uncovering facts vs confirming the truth of her story? How about stopping all the insults and presenting a better version of yourself, Athena. Address the issue and leave the insults for those who care.

June 14, 2009

Sory to be a wanker, but your not making any sense to me. I just cannot see your logic. Did you see the distinction I was making re uncovering facts vs confirming the truth of her story? How about stopping all the insults and presenting a better version of yourself, Athena. Address the issue and leave the insults for those who care.

Okay. Will do

As for OP 'confirming the truth of her story' -- she cannot... as I said before, she doesn't know exactly what happened that night PLUS she already feels guilty about her infidelity, so she Should NOT have a polygraph to 'prove the veracity of her story' since she is unclear about it and guilty... therefore... not in her best interests to take a polygraph.

Over and out.

June 14, 2009

Athena, you really do not make sense to me. Sorry to offend you. The excerpts you cited make no mention of my contemplating a polygraph and I Never requested one. As I said, they are reliable and someone intent on not disclosing would never submit to one. My XWWs , since they had no desire to disclose the truth, would never consent. The one apology came 7 years after the divorce, as my first X was working her 12 step program.
I would like to know the full stroies, but asking them to take a polygraph would have met with refusals and, we were divorced, so it makes no difference.
In the instant case, a polygraph, rather than uncovering facts, would merely serve to bolster pm's claims and , perhaps, satisfy her husband that her story is true. Not the same purpose, at all. This is why your response makes no sense to me. This is a tool that she could use if she is telling the truth.

I think what Athena, is saying(even though I have this nagging feeling you already know what she is trying to say) is that you have expressed so many times how you wished you knew the whole truth...about your x-wives...that perhaps you wish for them to take a polygraph test but couldn't ask them to....and therefore you are projecting that to PM-not to help her but because you have disdain for her-as she represents to you some characteristics your x-wives have....esp. the drinking...and perhaps the "lying" and "blaming the alcohol"....

I could be wrong in my understanding of your post, Athena-has happened before..LOL...If I am, I apologize.

June 14, 2009

I think what Athena, is saying(even though I have this nagging feeling you already know what she is trying to say) is that you have expressed so many times how you wished you knew the whole truth...about your x-wives...that perhaps you wish for them to take a polygraph test but couldn't ask them to....and therefore you are projecting that to PM-not to help her but because you have disdain for her-as she represents to you some characteristics your x-wives have....esp. the drinking...and perhaps the "lying" and "blaming the alcohol"....

I could be wrong in my understanding of your post, Athena-has happened before..LOL...If I am, I apologize.

No Tami you are Quite Correct... and Of Course Reggie got it... he's smart, right?

June 14, 2009

No Tami you are Quite Correct... and Of Course Reggie got it... he's smart, right?

Phew..at least , I got that..lol...being from lalaland and all...sometimes these smart stuff just go by me....:p:p!

June 14, 2009

"The next thing I remember was being in a room.. things happening. then he starting doing somn and I said no, it hurt, and he kept doing it. I think by that time I was starting to realize what the hell was going on and what the hell I was doing and I got up and left them. "

thanks for finding this, tami. i think this is pretty clear, don't you reg? not sure what there is to argue with here. granted, she could be lying. she could have made the entire thing up. she could be a romanian pig farmer out for a trollin good time. but we have no way of knowing that and so we must take her words at face value.

June 14, 2009

Phew..at least , I got that..lol...being from lalaland and all...sometimes these smart stuff just go by me....:p:p!

:lmao: we come here to these boards to be schooled by the smart ones...

June 14, 2009

Truthfully, I never had any desire for a poly, for the aforementined reasons.

How about the oter irregularities in her story?

Most of the few innocent defendants I have met ot represented jump at the chance to take a poly. If he genuinely does not remember stuff, that would come out on the test. The reponse that " I don't remember" would so a valid reponse, thus supporting her allegation that she was incapacitated.

I agree, one could infer that she meant something of a sexual nature by the reference to him doing something that hurt her. On the other hand, maybe he grabbed her roughly, or did any number of other types of things.She mentioned it as the act that jarred her into consciousness, so it could have been something other than a sexual act.

Look, if you folks feel she was incapacitated or drugged and raped, the poy is her friend. The resistance to it says , to me, that you really want to believe her story, but are afraid to let the rubber meet the road.

What about some of the other irregularities, mentioned by myself and others. This story does not hold together.

June 14, 2009

"The next thing I remember was being in a room.. things happening. then he starting doing somn and I said no, it hurt, and he kept doing it. I think by that time I was starting to realize what the hell was going on and what the hell I was doing and I got up and left them. "

thanks for finding this, tami. i think this is pretty clear, don't you reg? not sure what there is to argue with here. granted, she could be lying. she could have made the entire thing up. she could be a romanian pig farmer out for a trollin good time. but we have no way of knowing that and so we must take her words at face value.

Romanian pig farmers could come up with a more believable story.

June 14, 2009

interesting, how some people find inconsistencies and "lies" on PM's posts, but not from another (cough <dnui>!!!!):rolleyes:! Is it because PM made the mistake of having sex with another person other than her husband (albeit,in very questionable circumstances)? and the other claims to be a BS?

June 14, 2009

Reg, You did not suggest the Op take a polygraph because you want to help her explain to her H. Because you already believe that she is another lying cheater like your EX. You don't believe her story and nothing anyone can say will change your mind. You don't even care whether she takes a polygraph or not. What you want is for the Op to come on this forum and REFUSE to take a polygraph, this will validate your preconceived opinion of her guilt, and allow you to berate her as another cheater.........Athena, if the Op came back and readily agreed to a lie-detector test, then Reg would try another tactic to try to catch her in a mistake. You see REG, you are way more interested in attacking the Op than trying to help a person in dire need. You are not a lawyer, don't try to be, you are not very good at it.

June 14, 2009

Tami, I thought the same thing, but figured, Hey , one thread at a time.

June 14, 2009

I'll reiterate what I posted earlier: I hope the OP gets some professional help in figuring this out and turns off her computer, as the tone and tenor of the discussion in this thread has turned into a bunch of internet lawyers and counselors lining up on one side or the other trying to make cases to convict or acquit on scant and incomplete information. I can't imagine - no matter what the reality of her case turns out to be - that this provides any helpful support to her any longer.

June 14, 2009

Reg, You did not suggest the Op take a polygraph because you want to help her explain to her H. Because you already believe that she is another lying cheater like your EX. You don't believe her story and nothing anyone can say will change your mind. You don't even care whether she takes a polygraph or not. What you want is for the Op to come on this forum and REFUSE to take a polygraph, this will validate your preconceived opinion of her guilt, and allow you to berate her as another cheater.........Athena, if the Op came back and readily agreed to a lie-detector test, then Reg would try another tactic to try to catch her in a mistake. You see REG, you are way more interested in attacking the Op than trying to help a person in dire need. You are not a lawyer, don't try to be, you are not very good at it.

Boldjack, WELL SPOKEN -- it's clear to everyone then, what Reggie's motivations were then... good.

As for the Original Poster... I guess it's safe to come back now? Reggie's been disrobed... or... rather, dewigged...

June 14, 2009

Tami,

I didn't want to respond to any of these post because its getting meaningless. But you addressed a post to me so I will answer it.

You pointed out that she had black outs and you asked me what do I think happen during these black outs. I will tell you that I have no clue what happen but what I do know is that I have been drunk many times and I have had nights where parts are blacked out. I did stupid things and I hooked up with girls that would never touch when I was sober. But it was me doing this. I am not proud of those nights but I did it.

Everyone knows that when you drink stupid things happen, I even wonder sometimes why we drink in general. The point is that being drunk is not a excuse unless she literally was passed out and could not function

To the PM if you really feel you were raped then go to the police immediately. Talk to your co-worker and actually get answers out of her. Not over the phone but face to face, figure out what happen and then go from there. good luck

June 14, 2009

Tami,
I didn't want to respond to any of these post because its getting meaningless. But you addressed a post to me so I will answer it.

Well, thank you....

You pointed out that she had black outs and you asked me what do I think happen during these black outs.I will tell you that I have no clue what happen...

Exactly, neither did she.

but what I do know is that I have been drunk many times and I have had nights where parts are blacked out. I did stupid things and I hooked up with girls that would never touch when I was sober. But it was me doing this. I am not proud of those nights but I did it.

so what does that say about you? Does that mean that maybe inside you were really attracted to these girls and needed alcohol to give you the courage to have sex with them? See, some people suggest that PM wanted to be in that threesome....in the same token that you really wanted to have sex with these girls-alcohol or not...alcohol "gave " you the courage to do it, right? Or maybe sex does not mean anything to you and therefore you are not bothered by the consequences of alcohol and "hooking up with women. This is not the case with PM, she is MORTIFIED when she realized she did this.

The point is that being drunk is not a excuse unless she literally was passed out and could not function.

Alcohol is not an excuse in this case. Alcohol is the precipitating factor. It is a fact.

To the PM if you really feel you were raped then go to the police immediately.

she does not think she was RAPE, she does not know how she ended up where she was. She even said that she must said "yes" because the guy drove her car and they ended up at HIS place. She is not trying to remove herself from culpability. She is saying she was TOO DRUNK to remember everything.

my point is this : if she was too drunk or even just drunk enough..nobody should have touched her. She should have been brought home or brought to a safe place.

June 14, 2009

Reg, You did not suggest the Op take a polygraph because you want to help her explain to her H. Because you already believe that she is another lying cheater like your EX. You don't believe her story and nothing anyone can say will change your mind. You don't even care whether she takes a polygraph or not. What you want is for the Op to come on this forum and REFUSE to take a polygraph, this will validate your preconceived opinion of her guilt, and allow you to berate her as another cheater.........Athena, if the Op came back and readily agreed to a lie-detector test, then Reg would try another tactic to try to catch her in a mistake. You see REG, you are way more interested in attacking the Op than trying to help a person in dire need. You are not a lawyer, don't try to be, you are not very good at it.

oh snap....!

June 14, 2009

Well, thank you....

Exactly, neither did she.

so what does that say about you? Does that mean that maybe inside you were really attracted to these girls and needed alcohol to give you the courage to have sex with them? See, some people suggest that PM wanted to be in that threesome....in the same token that you really wanted to have sex with these girls-alcohol or not...alcohol "gave " you the courage to do it, right? Or maybe sex does not mean anything to you and therefore you are not bothered by the consequences of alcohol and "hooking up with women. This is not the case with PM, she is MORTIFIED when she realized she did this.

Alcohol is not an excuse in this case. Alcohol is the precipitating factor. It is a fact.

she does not think she was RAPE, she does not know how she ended up where she was. She even said that she must said "yes" because the guy drove her car and they ended up at HIS place. She is not trying to remove herself from culpability. She is saying she was TOO DRUNK to remember everything.

my point is this : if she was too drunk or even just drunk enough..nobody should have touched her. She should have been brought home or brought to a safe place.

Tami -- an excellent post, with very logical and well-made points... YOU should be a lawyer!

And, not only do you make sense, but you are compassionate, too....

June 14, 2009

Tami, if she doesn't think that she was raped then why are you calling her a victim.

No I wasn't attracted to those girls at all but I am still responsible for what I did. There is a reason why they call them beer goggles.

To your last point that somebody should have brought her home, I agree. But that doesn't mean that she is not a adult and not responsible for her actions.

Obviously she wasn't that hammered if her sister and her sisters bf let her go with the guy.

June 14, 2009

Tami by calling her a victim that means you believe this man is a predator, which he may be. But you are trying to build a rape scenario and unfortunately now of days people throw this around when they want to blame shift.

June 14, 2009

Tami, if she doesn't think that she was raped then why are you calling her a victim.

Are you serious, dude? Just because she does not think she was rape, does not mean she was not rape! All she knows is that she could not remember everything that happened that night and that she felt taken advantage of. Let me give you an example: If in my drunken state I start showing people my gold coins and then someone in the group steals a couple...then as I come to, I look at my gold coins and wonder..."hmmm...I thought I had more gold coins that this, but I'm not sure." Does that mean I am not a victim of robbery?

No I wasn't attracted to those girls at all but I am still responsible for what I did. There is a reason why they call them beer goggles.

B*llsh*t, ikjh! you must have been...or you would not have gone for seconds. You liked it.

To your last point that somebody should have brought her home, I agree. But that doesn't mean that she is not a adult and not responsible for her actions.

Of course, she was responsible for the amount of alcohol she consumed. It does not erase the fact that she was too drunk to make an informed decision to participate in a threesome.

Obviously she wasn't that hammered if her sister and her sisters bf let her go with the guy.

Well, I am glad that it is obvious to YOU. Unfortunately you are not her so what's obvious to you does not matter. I do not know where the sister was or the sister's bf in reference to PM. Or if the sister was confident that she was in safe hands( must have believed that_...after all she did say, there was talk of a thressome, but that she said no and plus she was with this co-worker). Why would she (sister) think that PM would be taken advantage of?

Look Ikjh, you dont think she was a victim...fine. Do you think she deserved what happened to her? Why or why not?

June 14, 2009

Tami -- an excellent post, with very logical and well-made points... YOU should be a lawyer!

And, not only do you make sense, but you are compassionate, too....

LOL!!!!! Athena...:lmao::lmao:!!!! you are such a sweetheart!

June 14, 2009

Have any of you guys noticed that the OP has buggered off ?, after the bashings on this thread can't say I blame her. Not the best side of LS maybe ?

June 15, 2009

tami, one minute you say she was raped and the next you say she wasn't.

About your example, if I was drunk and someone physically took coins from me then yes I was a victim of theft, but if I willingly gave the coins away(even drunk) then I am not a victim of robbery.

Look you can preach till you are red in the face but I wasn't and I' am not attracted to those girls. But you are proving my point, according to you being drunk is not a excuse and the person secretly wanted it on some level, so you are saying she actually wanted the threesome.

Lastly, you really don't know if she was to drunk to make a decision, after all you don't drink and don't know the affects of it. All we know is that she was drunk

"Look Ikjh, you dont think she was a victim...fine. Do you think she deserved what happened to her? Why or why not? "

Depends on what you mean by deserve, I don't know for sure if she is a victim. If she was drunk and made a mistake then your question is pointless because she willing took part in something. If this is just regret then nothing "happen" to her. She did something horrible. Now her family on the other hand did not deserve this. Don't you see, I m not sure if something actually "happen" to her.

I am not about to say that women are so defenseless and mindless that anything they go through is because the actions of someone else. I know the majority of society does not think like this but I think the majority is wrong. This way of thinking is why a female teacher who sleeps with a students gets probation but a male teacher that does the same thing gets 10 years in prison. As a society we want to believe that women are always victims.

June 15, 2009

Trimmer, I quite agree with you. Nobody is really intent on helping this poor woman..........Wuggle, I hope she comes back and then we can try to get her some help................Tami, "oh,snap?":confused: WTF?.................. Prettymarie, You have been through a lot and need to seek as much support as you can get, You were guilty of bad judgement in Drinking too much, but you were IN NO WAY guilty, after you said NO!!!. Try not to beat yourself up too much . I'm with you and will be here to answer your questions as well as I might. So are many others. The "bashers", and phoney internet "lawyers", pay them no mind, they do not wish you well.

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