unwritten Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Well. It's been about eleven months since the breakup. He was the first guy I "fell in love" with? I'm not even sure what I was feeling at that point. We had been very good friends for awhile, then we were together for three amazing months. The last few weeks of our relationship, he started to be very critical, and he'd talk about other girls and it became very obvious that he didn't want to be with me. He stopped telling me he loved me, and that's when I knew. I confronted him online because he didn't bother to text, or call, or come see me anymore. I had to initiate the breakup because he "didn't want to hurt my feelings." It was about two months before I even let myself cry over him. Every time I think I'm over him, I see him or something (we perform in the same orchestra, so I see him every rehearsal) and I just start feeling my insides twisting and it sucks. I thought I was okay until I saw him holding hands with another girl, and the waterworks just came. I'm dating a friend of his who I am very much in love with, we've been together five months. He's "the one" material, but I feel like I'm still holding back. I'm constantly reminded of the ex. I don't know why, I don't think I'd allow myself to be with somebody that treated me like he did, yet I still have feelings for him. He claimed we could still be friends after the breakup, but all he'd do is pick fights with me and I gave up. We haven't talked in such a long time. I tried to be civil, and I give up. I lost my boyfriend and my best friend, and I just don't know what to do. I've been thinking about transferring schools. He's the reason I stayed last year, and now I think he's the reason I wouldn't. I've poured my everything into my relationship, hobbies, and education but he's still there in the back of my mind. I'm just wondering, when it comes to your first love, how do you get over it? I've been thinking of taking a break, but would it be fair to my boyfriend if I wanted to stay exclusive, but I needed a bit of time to myself to figure things out? I'm very confused after all this time, and I don't know if I'll ever let him go. Any advice?
NiceGuy4Ever Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Well first Love's are always the hardest. It all depends on how they were with you. My first Love cheated on me and married (yes married) the other guy. You can see how easy it was to forget by my anger, but in retrospect it still took a long time. You can only really forget a person by falling in Love with someone else FULLY, without holding back. And trust me you will let him go sooner or later. Advice to forget well, I see you have devoted yourself to hobbies but have you let yourself get "wisked away" by your current boyfriend. Just open you heart a little bit more and see what happens. We can't replace the old memories but we can overshadow them with new ones. Hope this helps.
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