lora22 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Maybe I should just be honest, and tell her I would be lying if I said I didnt like her, but Im not looking for anything, I just come out of a long relationship. Good to be honest, but I feel like this is how LS gets so many posts about "well he said XYZ, but then we casually dated, and now I really like him, and why doesn't he like me?!?!" and stuff like that...I feel like you need to figure out what she wants AND what she's playing at. But does ssound like a lot of drama...I mean, you're not dating or hooking up yet, you barely know her, and already there's drama and games and what not. I agree with Carhill that this is an indication of what it would be like to date this girl.
samspade Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Maybe I should just be honest, and tell her I would be lying if I said I didnt like her, but Im not looking for anything, I just come out of a long relationship. Please don't say this.
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 Sam- I wont tell her, thanks bro Everyone else, Im not looking for ANY LTR's, just some fun and some new friends. If I dont reply, she is going to take that as a yes Maybe just a simple 'not at all, I just became single again for the first time in 5 years' would suffice
Art_Critic Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 If some girl that I was trying to get to know sent me that question I wouldn't answer it.. What a dumb question to ask someone that you are supposed to actively getting to know..too mysterious for my tastes. That question is full of shiot IMO.... I think she is married/in a relationship and or not in your country...
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 She is in my country, and my city, but has just come out of, on her request, a divorce/LTR
lora22 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 She's being a drama queen and playing games. Don't get caught up in them!
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 ugh....trust me to get caught up in this from her at this time.
Art_Critic Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 She is in my country, and my city, but has just come out of, on her request, a divorce/LTR Do you know that for sure ? Just because her profile says she is single and live in xyz city doesn't mean that she has told the truth in her profile. I stand behind her being married or in a relationship...
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 I know that for sure She has a house in my city, she has a local accent etc etc
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 Just told her 'Not at all, I just come out of a 5 year R, my life has just begun! only looking for some decent friends and some good company ' She replies with 'I like x' She told me the other day that her 'life has just begun' after ending her relationship, thought I would twist that one back on her Ah the games we play in times such as these
Lucky_One Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 She replies with 'I like x' What's x? Personally, for me, this was all too semi-intimate (or weird) to be done via text. Text her back and say "How about we discuss this in person. Drinks at 6?" Then talk. Try to figure out from her words, her mannerisms, her facial expressions and her body language what she is meaning or looking for, and then you can get an immediate response to any questions you have. Texting is no way to really communicate.
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 'x' is a kiss, unless she has been talking about her ex at the end of every message! I think it is all a bit weird too, but hey, at least it thrilling to have games of a another woman after my ex ousted me 5 pages...sorry folks!!
Art_Critic Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 She told me the other day that her 'life has just begun' after ending her relationship, thought I would twist that one back on her Ah the games we play in times such as these SB.. If I was a betting man then I would give 10-1 odds that she is either still in that relationship or she is testing the waters on whether or not to take him back ? If it were me I would direct more of your questions into quizzing about her last relationship as that seems to be where her head still seems to be.. Ask her to meet up for a drink.. just be weary that she is most likely withholding info on her last relationship that might be pertinant in one with you
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 SB.. If I was a betting man then I would give 10-1 odds that she is either still in that relationship or she is testing the waters on whether or not to take him back ? If it were me I would direct more of your questions into quizzing about her last relationship as that seems to be where her head still seems to be.. Ask her to meet up for a drink.. just be weary that she is most likely withholding info on her last relationship that might be pertinant in one with you I think you could be right...... I will tread not lightly
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 ArtCritic, I think you are spot on there... Furthermore, being in her (apparent)ex's position of being the dumpee, I think the right thing for me to do would be to quiz her. If She is about to end her marriage (the guy who can give her the world) for the grass is greener syndrome (the mellow guy who doesnt want anything serious) maybe this is a test for me...(in a kind of 'spiritual' way), and I should be trying to remind her that although she might want to wonder greener pastures searching her 'fling/new guy', that she might regret her decision and to really think hard about this, if she has had it good for so many years with him, to think about the long term implocations of what she is doing on her and on him and just make sure to be sure that is what she really wants and is not a short term infatuation. I dont want to be responsible for influencing her ideas of this. If she was my ex, I would hope someone would do that for me if posed that question, which i know they didnt, as 99% of guys my ex asked will only talk with their di*ks. In fact 99% of most guys will only think with that body part 99% of the time. Does that make any sense? What do you guys think about this? I think that is the right and honourably karmic thing to do....
lora22 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 What you said makes sense; I don't know this girl but it sounds like either a sh*t test (how much sh*t will you take from her); or she's emotionally unstable or something. I don't think (from what you've said) it sounds like she knows you well enough to have the expectation that it is appropriate for her to ask you for advice on something like this, and most certainly not via text. I mean, if she really wanted/needed input, she should be able to call you up and say "Hey SoulBear, I'm really struggling with my decision, because of your situation do you think we could meet for a drink/coffee/whatever and talk about this?" My impression of how long you two have known each other and your seemingly limited interaction is what makes me think this is a sh*t test, and/or she has issues. Actually, giving a guy a sh*t test probably means you have issues. Anyways.
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 I know, but I just realised that even my reply to her has been done through my hormones to a certain extent....I wasnt thinking about her ex, and how he must be feeling right now. I was thinking about myself, and my own happyness. Thats not right, especially seeing as i am going through what her ex is myself to a certain extent. I think I should implore her to TRY repair what she has, find happieness in their love, and 'better the devil you know/dont know what you got til its gone' instead of running off to be single and wonder if she will ever meet someone who she will care equally about for as long again. Who knows, as I said, if she was my ex and I was her new 'friend', I would like to think someone would have been morally grounded enough to be acting in kindness to the people involved. not themselves-which is what I did.
bean1 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I know, but I just realised that even my reply to her has been done through my hormones to a certain extent....I wasnt thinking about her ex, and how he must be feeling right now. I was thinking about myself, and my own happyness. Thats not right, especially seeing as i am going through what her ex is myself to a certain extent. I think I should implore her to TRY repair what she has, find happieness in their love, and 'better the devil you know/dont know what you got til its gone' instead of running off to be single and wonder if she will ever meet someone who she will care equally about for as long again. Who knows, as I said, if she was my ex and I was her new 'friend', I would like to think someone would have been morally grounded enough to be acting in kindness to the people involved. not themselves-which is what I did. Unless you and this girl have been dating for quite sometime (I'm a little confused, have you guys actually met in person?), there's no need for you to care or have any concern for this kind of stuff. Sounds like you aren't really to date yet. You are totally overthinking this person and her life. If she wants to grab a coffee, go for it. Otherwise, let her call Dr. Phil for anything else. Why should you care about her past relationships right now and why should she care bout yours? TOO MUCH! You are not a phone therapist!
samspade Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Unless you and this girl have been dating for quite sometime (I'm a little confused, have you guys actually met in person?), there's no need for you to care or have any concern for this kind of stuff. Amen. Soulbear, you are overthinking EVERYTHING. You sound like a 14-year-old girl. Put the damn phone down, unless it's to call her for another date. You're getting roped into her time-killing, childish games. Men don't use words, they use actions.
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 Amen. You sound like a 14-year-old girl. . You should see my pigtails and snotty nose!! Ive let this one go, waaay to much drama in it for me. Yes we met, for all of 10 mins one day. This is a joke, i agree!!! She seems to much of a lost nutcase to go any further down this road. ''next....''!!! Im friendszoneing this girl as of now.
samspade Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 She seems to much of a lost nutcase to go any further down this road. ''next....''!!! Im friendszoneing this girl as of now. That's the spirit!
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 That's the spirit! The moral of the story is folks: If you meet a woman who is like this-.... dont meet.
Soul-Searcher Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 The moral of the story is folks: If you meet a woman who is like this-.... dont meet. When I read the original post, I was like wtf? Glad you have managed to move on from it.
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 When I read the original post, I was like wtf? Glad you have managed to move on from it. me too...now in hindsight:rolleyes: Im going through my own recovery right now as it is, so I guess the other moral is dont date me either, as Im obviously not ready for it:p!! (ETA 1month for those interested) EDIT* please, no more replys. Let this embarasing moment fade into the history of LS and let someone learn from it, anything..
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