Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 You guys might be in for a bit of a wait...it took me almost 3 hours to reply to that question!!!! So i presume that is not what she expected and it will take her some time to 'figure me out' and my reply too!!
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 I spoke too soon in my above post.... Her reply: ''Eh? I mean 2 men love one woman, it is known, which would you likely go for? x'' That is not what she asked me Another twist to the piggies tail, and one more act of confusion for my head.... Anyone???????? IMO, current circumstances would have me leaning towards nothing serious with the fun one....
lora22 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 So she's asking you from the woman's perspective which man you would go for? I'd just say something like, I guess it depends on what you're looking for...
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 LOL!! yeah pretty annoying and confusing! I was going to say- IMO, current circumstances would have me leaning towards nothing serious with the fun one.... but I think maybe your answer is better...keep those cards close to my chest, but I dont wanna seem useless and undescicive tho
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 AHAHAHA!! ''Well I suppose I dont wanna settle yet, I really should go for what I want today and not in 3 years, so I have made a decision finally x'' This is becoming twisted......WTF?!
lora22 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Yeah I understand that, but it's weird that she's asking this. I've done things like this (not quite the same, but the general idea of asking a loaded question and trying to play it off as a casual, I'm just curious thing), and the guys I respected the most either didn't fall for it, or called me out on it (in a nice way). That's just me though.
lora22 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 AHAHAHA!! ''Well I suppose I dont wanna settle yet, I really should go for what I want today and not in 3 years, so I have made a decision finally x'' This is becoming twisted......WTF?! That's what she said, or your response to her?
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 Called you out? as in 'WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME THIS!?' Anymore female insight into these kind of questions and her replys please? EDIT* that was her response to 'depends what you are looking for'
bean1 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I would be really annoyed by these messages. It's vague and it's playing games. If she's got an issue or a question, she can call you and talk to you like an adult. This isn't female-vagueness, it's just irritating. Don't make time for nonsense. Set the standard NOW.
lora22 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 LOL, called me out as in, making it clear that I wasn't fooling him and he knew what I was doing. What if you texted her back like, "So did you choose me?" or, "So did I win the coin toss?" with a wink or something like that. Something flirty, but lets her know you're not totally serious.
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 I agree with you both, it is pretty irritating, i dont have a clue what she is playing at. Seriously, not a clue. Maybe im just being blind and stupid, but I am very very confused too!! Dont know how to set the standard on this one, as I dont know where the standard is right now.... Lora, that was a class reply, and I pretty much said that anyway
lora22 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 First, I think girls are pretty crazy, for the most part (although they do fall along a spectrum of craziness lol), so it's hard to imagine WHAT she thinks she's doing. She might just want attention from you. Why else ask you a question like that? It's totally a game.
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 She just said 'oh this that what your after, more than friends. Serious question. x'' I really need some help here. Half me just wants a possible FWB, the other half is happy to have her as a friend
lora22 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I really need some help here. Half me just wants a possible FWB, the other half is happy to have her as a friend Maybe just say something like, hey we're just getting to know each other, do we need to define what we are or what we're going to be right now? Why don't we try friends and see where that takes us? Be like, if you want something serious, we should have this talk, but I'm not there right now, so if you're not either, I dno't see why we have to talk about it yet.
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 no i dont need this crap, its mind bending!!
carhill Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Dude, this is no way to get over the heartbreak of your fiance leaving you. Don't even waste one minute of your time pondering it. I'll opine right now that stability will not be a word I would use to describe your future with this person
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 I know this, I dont want a future with anyone right now except myself!! Not her, Not my ex. Just wanna have some fun ya know. Hang out with different people... I feel like she has really put me on the spot here, and coming up with a suitable answer is not happening....
bean1 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I know this, I dont want a future with anyone right now except myself!! Not her, Not my ex. Just wanna have some fun ya know. Hang out with different people... I feel like she has really put me on the spot here. You teach people how to treat you. If you want to continue these messages, go ahead, but expect games to continue. Phone her and ask her what the deal is if you want to cut to the chase. She is probably getting her jollies from this, don't let it happen.
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 Bean I think your right....I dont know what her deal is....part of me is afraid to even ask as the last thing I need right now is getting shot down I really dont know what to say...maybe I should just go NC or her a$$!!!
bean1 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Bean I think your right....I dont know what her deal is....part of me is afraid to even ask as the last thing I need right now is getting shot down I really dont know what to say...maybe I should just go NC or her a$$!!! Perhaps NC is a good idea to give you perspective. Go for a job or out for a beer with a friend or something, you don't need to waste energy of games!
Author Soul Bear Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 Maybe I should just be honest, and tell her I would be lying if I said I didnt like her, but Im not looking for anything, I just come out of a long relationship. Edit* i meant NC ON her a$$...not OR her a$$
samspade Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Dude...do not answer these questions with anything other than a casual joke. Johnny Blaze gave the best answer. Laugh it off and change the subject. You are letting this girl live in your head and you're thinking way too much about how to answer her. She's just playing silly games and trying to dig up info on you, and the sad truth is that if you give her an honest, thoughtful answer, it's going to work against you in one of two ways: 1. She will subconsciously take you down a peg, attraction-wise, because by answering you are showing her that you are sitting around and fantasizing about long term love. 2. She may consciously use the information against you at some point, down the road, if you two continue your courtship. Let discretion be the better part of valor. That's not to blame her - she is just being inquisitive like a lot of girls. The problem is you and how you handle these things. You should not be devoting more than three seconds' thought to something this trivial. Use your sparkling wit. Then, put the phone down and go read a book or go for a walk. Keep texting to a minimum!
BubblyPopcorn Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Dude, this is no way to get over the heartbreak of your fiance leaving you. Don't even waste one minute of your time pondering it. I'll opine right now that stability will not be a word I would use to describe your future with this person I agree. After my 6 year LTR, it took me about a year before I was ready to date. And even then, I was not interested in a LTR, probably because I had been in one for the majority of my twenties. Maybe I should just be honest, and tell her I would be lying if I said I didnt like her, but Im not looking for anything, I just come out of a long relationship. I think that would be the way to go, before going any further. Otherwise, it can be construed as leading the person on.
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