hoping2heal Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Goodmorning everyone, Well, I have a toothache and cannot sleep and I was reading some of your threads, my heart goes out to you. That said, I'm hoping if I share my story it will bring some hope to at least one of you. A year ago, I had an online relationship that lasted for a year, and two weeks before I was set to fly out, it all came to a sudden halt. I had been lying about my weight to this person the entire time, I was having a hard time coming clean about it, I forgot this detail until recently when my "online father" brought it up, but I had taken a full body pic a week before webcam and he was fine with it, when I went on webcam it was over. I was so distraught I didn't eat for days. It wasn't the first person I'd been in love with, but I was damn certain it would be the last. I held myself responsible for the breakup (although come to think of it, rather odd that he was fine with it in the picture, but not on cam hmm oh well) either way, I felt like I deserved what I got. I had the horrible dreams for months, you know..the one where you get back together, and when you wake up they aren't there? Yeah, guilty. I cried myself to sleep for a very long time. The thing is, maybe I deserved what I got and had it coming, but I read a LOT of posts from girls who do nothing but treat these guys amazingly or vice versa read about the guys who do nothing but treat these women amazingly, and you're left broken hearted wondering "why didn't he/she choose me". The thing is, if they left you they weren't your happy ever after. Someone else is. As much as I convinced myself I'd never get over that guy, guess what? I did get over him, and not only am I in love again; the person I'm in love with is way more compatible with me than the last guy . He brings out good in me, in a way I don't feel the other guy did at all really. I don't know I just have been able to grow in a positive way, so very much. I really like that. And hey, maybe sometimes it doesn't work out and no one is really the bad guy but you'll move on if you let yourself and find someone who makes you happier and makes you a better person, just let yourself. Don't sit around wondering why you were rejected and put all your energy into trying to be what you think that person wants, screw that. Trust me, the turning point for me with this guy, was one sad night in late october, when I was sitting on the toilet writing a song and it hit me; that this just isn't the right thing for me, and it was after that I accepted it and just let it go. Couldn't be happier that I did.
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