heart_of_stone Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 heres the thing...im a girl and i have this friend that well we were just friends but he has always tried to flatter me and tell me how pretty i am and the possibilities of me and him going out etc...well one day we were on the phone and he tells me..i thiwe should be friends..and in my mind it came "well..we are friends soo what is trying to say?" but once i sayed yes..he sayed with benefits..soo i stayed quiet and he said soo its a yes and i honestly am physically attracted to him...soo now its been 3 weeks that we see each other well the first week we saw each other everyday before we went to skool (we both go to different schools) and we kissed hugged talked everything...BUT we dont have sex because i'm still a virgin and i dont plan on losing it right away with the wrong person and the wrong time and he knows that..but im confused because i know that when its fwb theres no feeling and nothing attached ok well i feel like i get mixed signals from him because he hugs me tries to hold my hand at times and theres been times where a cute guy passes by ( oh && WERE BOTH BIG FLIRTS and dont get attached or like serious relationships since we get bored easily) and i look at him u know and he just automaticlly grabs me and kisses me..i mean it feels like we were going out..we call each other and txt each other too and when hes sad he comes to me calls me and tells me he wants to see me..but its always him that txts me in the morning to see if i can see him..oh but infront of our friends we dont do any of that since my ex is oof "his best friends" ...we keep everything on the low but aaaah i dont know what this really is??
xpaperxcutx Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 You don't have to start a new thread. That's double posting. Just post in the same thread okay? Anyways, if you're overanalyzing his actions, you're in a position to start liking him. So break it off! If you're a FWB, avoid overthinking his actions, or wondering whether he likes you in this or that way. Whatever you think you want him to be is not going to happen because guys don't care how you feel as long as they're getting it. To be more constructive, I mean to write most guys when they're in a FWB, they don't react to sex the same as girls. They don't attach to you emotionally.
TaraMaiden Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 You're a virgin. He likes you. He wants to have sex with you (be the first? yay him!!) But he doesn't want to be your BF. Tell him to find someone else to be a FWB. You're not playing. If he wants you, he will have to date you and respect your wishes. Because you don't plan to lose it just to keep his pecker happy. OK? And see what he says.
Lucky_One Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 You sound awfully young. This guy is trying to get in your pants. He doesn't want a relationship with you, he doesn't want to date you. Value yourself. Don't get into a situation that you look back on 25 years from now and tell your daughter "My first time was with a guy who just took it and ran, notching his belt mid-stride." Your first time should be with someone you truly care about, and who truly cares about you - in a location that lends itself to comfort, privacy and time (NOT the back seat of a car, NOT up in his room while his little brother is in the room next to you).
Lucky555 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Friends with benefits does not sound like a good idea. It will break your heart big time. He wants sex. He will pursue you and make you feel like your the only girl for him, but he will never be "your guy." It sounds like he makes you feel special and good. Its nice to get attention and not be alone but how will you feel when he says, you and I are just friends with benefits and I you know that. He can easily get a girlfriend at anytime and still be sleeping with you or he may start lying to you. Respect yourself. Stop making out with this guy and get a guy who can treat you really well and be your boyfriend (thats called a quality guy). guys are wired differently than girls. they really don't become as attached as girls do, obviously this guy is not attached. HE IS USING YOU right now and he wants you to agree to having him go further by using your for sex. Do you really want him to use you? Seek a relationship with a quality guy dont waste your time with this guy (even if he does make you feel good, someone else will be so much better for you)
Author heart_of_stone Posted June 10, 2009 Author Posted June 10, 2009 sorry about the threads..i'm new to this but thank you for the advice and yeah that's what i was thinking but i just have this thing that i over analyze things way too much..but thanks a lot !!!! too many guys have been trying to get in my pants but i always remember what i promised my family to not lose it to just some guy like you said "to keep his pecker happy" and yea i should lose it with someone i actually care about..but i'm not worried about losing my virginity anytime soon..thats like at the end of my list i'm more interested in graduating lol.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Oh, PLEASE don't let this guy get to you. He will sweet-talk and romance his way into your pants and you will be left broken-hearted. LISTEN when a guy says that all he wants is FWB - he's being honest. If you choose to proceed with a guy after he says that, you are giving consent to pursue FWB. You will NOT change his mind. If that's what he said he wants, that is all you're going to get with this one. So if you want more than FWB, move on to a new guy. This one is trouble. It does not matter what it LOOKS like or FEELS like - those are your own emotions getting in the way. LISTEN when a guy says FWB.
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