bac Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I have an emotional problem to fall for a guy who is 20 yrs younger than me. We had sex a few times and it was so mind-blowing compare with sex with guys in 40s. Because sex with an younger guy is so so so good, I can not help falling for him even I hate to do that. When I was dating guys in 40s, it was a piece of cake not to get emotionally attached to them because sex was not so good. By the way, I understand that it is very stupied of me to fall for the guy because of age difference. I have heard that men in 40s have the same problem of being afraid to fall for younger girls. I believe that older men even date older women to prevent to be hurt. Perhaps anyone can give me advice on how to handle the situation. Can anyone, please, share with me any methods how to stop getting emotionally attached to the guy. I just want to have sex with him without falling for him and get hurt.
BentSpine Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I just want to have sex with him without falling for him and get hurt.We don't have control over our feelings. If we did, we would be able to choose to feel infatuated with the most convenient person close to us. Any man regardless of age can stop loving you. Do realise that a relationship will always end, one way or another.
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I know sex is good when your an older woman, getting slayed out by a younger dude, but the question is , does HE like you beyond the sex??? does he have feelings for you???
lab_brat Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 It's not stupid, sometimes you can't help who you fall for. Having said that, it doesn't sound like you can sleep with him without getting emotionally attached, so you may have to choose either to stop it all or just risk the chance that you'll get hurt. And really, you only live once, right?
Author bac Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 I know sex is good when your an older woman, getting slayed out by a younger dude, but the question is , does HE like you beyond the sex??? does he have feelings for you??? I would love to get some insight on what a young guy can feel and think of me in the situation like this. Of course, there is no feelings beyond sex from both sides. I do not want him to like me beyond the sex at all. It is all about sex for me too.
Lyssa Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I don't think there's a way to not fall for someone esp when you're sexually involved. I mean for some women (and men) it's easy but for me personally, I can't do the whole FWB thing.
stepka Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Well if it helps BAC, I'm in the same boat. Part of it though is that I realize I'm not really falling for him,though it feels like it sometimes--I like him a whole lot, but a lot of my feelings are fantasies and leftover feelings from the divorce that I haven't really dealt with yet, b/c I was too busy chasing this young guy around and when it's fun it's fun, but sometimes there are hurtful moments too. I don't know where you're at in your relationship situation, but understand that sometimes other feelings about life and yourself can feel like attachment, and that women bond thru sex more closely than men do--we're just wired that way, so accept it as normal. And have fun with it! That's the point. Think of him as dessert--you had to go thru a lot of life experiences to get to this point, and he's the reward.
loser101 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 sex is much more energetic with young guys, I enjoy that as well. However, the reason why you are enjoying it more is because you are getting attached already. I think carhill advised you before to allow attachment develop between yourself and those men you date and quality sex will follow - regardless of age.
Lizzie60 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I would love to get some insight on what a young guy can feel and think of me in the situation like this. Of course, there is no feelings beyond sex from both sides. I do not want him to like me beyond the sex at all. It is all about sex for me too. Methink you're lying to yourself.. you very well know that you are falling for this young guy.... don't fool yourself. He might fall for you too.. but it could also be only for the sex.. he will never tell you. I am now falling for a guy who is 14 years younger. It's odd that you say that men in their 40s are bad lovers.. my best lovers were in their mid-30s to mid-40s. My worst were the younger ones.. they are too excited.. and come too fast.. they do not have the experience on how to fully satisfy a woman, it's normal.. they are still very young.. Just 'guard' your heart.. you can be extremely hurt by this. even more than with a guy your age..
boldjack Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 OP, just be aware that He IS going to leave you. Whatever the sexual attraction is now, as you grow older, he will look elsewhere, for younger playmates. This is the law of the jungle. When older becomes involved with younger, after the first flush of desire, the younger will seek their own age level. Older women like you and LIZ can only keep the clock at bay, for so long, no matter what you do( cosmetic surgery, whatever) soon you will look old to them, and the desire will fade. Do you want to see the look in his eyes, when he no longer wants you? It may be fun now, but it won't be fun, later.
Lizzie60 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 OP, just be aware that He IS going to leave you. Whatever the sexual attraction is now, as you grow older, he will look elsewhere, for younger playmates. This is the law of the jungle. When older becomes involved with younger, after the first flush of desire, the younger will seek their own age level. Older women like you and LIZ can only keep the clock at bay, for so long, no matter what you do( cosmetic surgery, whatever) soon you will look old to them, and the desire will fade. Do you want to see the look in his eyes, when he no longer wants you? It may be fun now, but it won't be fun, later. Yabutt.. it's fun while it lasts.. the only thing is to NOT get too involved emotionally. It's the same for men.. with younger women.. they get tired when they can't get it up... It's fun while it lasts though. Just enjoy.. life is too short.. just protect your heart.. simple as that. It feels extraordinarily great for your confidence and self esteem.. let me tell you that..
Author bac Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 Thank you for your support. What do you think it means if he emails me with questions on how to improve his sexual skills?
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