Author iand Posted June 10, 2009 Author Posted June 10, 2009 so Taramaiden..you don't think that sh's going to come back when she figures out that what she's living now is not nearly as good as what she had with me?
TaraMaiden Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 Well, I guess she might. But we're talking years here, not weeks, or even months. The only one who can really realise, understand, see, accept and know that what she's living now is not nearly as good as what she had with you - is her. People may tell her until they - and she - are blue in the face. Until she completely sees and gets that for herself, you might as well pee in the wind.... And realising the problem is just the tip of the iceberg. Addressing it and putting it right can be a lifetime work. You willing to make that sacrifice?
Author iand Posted June 10, 2009 Author Posted June 10, 2009 sounds like you have been through this before? is there a reason why you believe years not weeks or months? I've made a lot of sacrifices over the years and my actions related to this relationship and event have been ones of love with no expectations not want..i made very sure of that before paying the money..keeping her stuff for so long etc... The bail restrictions of no communication are really tough. It's hard to work something out if the two people can't talk to one another..a flaw in the law if you ask me... We had an amazing relationship until the last two weeks...i know it works...but we both failed to communicate our feelings on a couple of subjects properly and the result was an arguement that led to physical violence. If the excessive drinking stopped...if we did some counselling together and avoid the environment and people at the marina and looked beyond to building a home and a life then it's definately worth the sacrifice..nothing good ever comes easy..it always take commitment and work..i'm prepared to do it..the question is...is she? Only she can answer that...right?
TaraMaiden Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Yup. And she has to want it as much as you do. And it has to come from her. And she has to do the work. You -Cannot - Fix - Her. This has to be her main effort with your input. Not the other way round.
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