Is it me or does this generation seem to just rush and cling so quickly?

[Not the love ace]

Okay, I'm a young lad (22 years of age) but my approach to relationships might seem a little more "old school" to say the least. I tend to actually try and get to know someone for a few months (6 months a minimum) before I decide I want to actually commit to them and have a relationship. I like to have an idea of what I'm in for and what can be of the relationship.

 

These days however, it seems like most people around my age group just rush into things. I known a few people who are adults and know someone for 1 day and they are already in love and the next week they are going out and then 4-5 months later they are married. Unfortunately, most of the time it doesn't work out since they rushed. My cousin for example known this one guy for only two weeks and told me she was in love with this guy. However he did something that totally turned off and she ate her words.

 

Its kind of annoying to me that most people just seem to want to be with someone just to be with someone and not be alone. I am sure its the fear of being alone but its still silly and I just don't get why people just can't wait and take it slow before they make any serious commitments. I'm tired of hearing my friends or family members tell me their arguing with their boyfriend/girlfriend whom they hardly know.

 

Is it me, or does it really seem like people in this generation rush into things a lot more?

[Hi.P.O'Crit]

I'm not sure but I would say instant gratification is the reason.

[start-fresh]

I think the biggest change is how connected our world is. With cell phones and facebook we are always available to each other. Sure, that makes it easier to keep in touch with someone we're interested in, but most likely a bunch of other people can get a hold of him or her just as easily. That leads to an urgency on the part of the more invested party at losing what they've found, and the 'grass is greener' sydrome for everyone as the initial excitement of a relationship wanes. Why work at something when there's plenty of others in the pipeline?

 

'Back in the day' you couldn't connect with someone an hour away and easily form a relationship. People were less fickle and took the time to get to know each other instead of bouncing around from person to person.

[xpaperxcutx]

I wouldn't wait 6 months to see where things are going, I think the most I can deal with is 2-3 months. If initial attractions are there, the feelings of wanting to be together is stronger.

[BUENG1]

Okay, I'm a young lad (22 years of age) but my approach to relationships might seem a little more "old school" to say the least. I tend to actually try and get to know someone for a few months (6 months a minimum) before I decide I want to actually commit to them and have a relationship. I like to have an idea of what I'm in for and what can be of the relationship.

 

These days however, it seems like most people around my age group just rush into things. I known a few people who are adults and know someone for 1 day and they are already in love and the next week they are going out and then 4-5 months later they are married. Unfortunately, most of the time it doesn't work out since they rushed. My cousin for example known this one guy for only two weeks and told me she was in love with this guy. However he did something that totally turned off and she ate her words.

 

Its kind of annoying to me that most people just seem to want to be with someone just to be with someone and not be alone. I am sure its the fear of being alone but its still silly and I just don't get why people just can't wait and take it slow before they make any serious commitments. I'm tired of hearing my friends or family members tell me their arguing with their boyfriend/girlfriend whom they hardly know.

 

Is it me, or does it really seem like people in this generation rush into things a lot more?

 

6 months? Committing an exclusive relationship isn't a large commitment imo. Your only committing to dating exclusively and thats it. I wouldn't wait six months for someone to date only me.

[Trialbyfire]

6 months? Committing an exclusive relationship isn't a large commitment imo. Your only committing to dating exclusively and thats it. I wouldn't wait six months for someone to date only me.

No kidding! Maybe it's time to reevaluate why it takes this long to figure out whether or not you even want to go this tiny step. Sounds to me like the OP has commitment issues or hasn't found anyone that he's/she's fallen in love with.

[xpaperxcutx]

No kidding! Maybe it's time to reevaluate why it takes this long to figure out whether or not you even want to go this tiny step. Sounds to me like the OP has commitment issues or hasn't found anyone that he's/she's fallen in love with.

 

I think it's apparent by his screenname.

[Trialbyfire]

I think it's apparent by his screenname.

I'm not even certain what his s/n means beyond it being negative in some way.

 

As for the current generation being in a hurry, it's no different than previous generations, if you clock time spent together v. clocking by overall length of time that you've known each other. If you only date one day a week and don't talk between times, six months is about equal to one month.

[Not the love ace]

Yeah maybe 6 months is a bit long but I feel if you are really interesed you'll wait for the person. I don't think people should go out with people for the sake of going out with people. That just seems to be me though. I'm not saying there's any right or wrong but I do think there's a lot of pressure and it just seems like a trend of a "first come first serve" basis. Not so much on chemistry.

 

And for the record, I have been deeply in love with two girls who broke my heart terribly so I have experienced being in a relationship. I just don't feel the need to rush because I want to know what I am getting myself into and on top of that, I am young and still trying to get certain aspects of my life together. So why rush into something that can potentially thwart something in my life? I want to be with someone who is understanding.

 

Non-the-less I personally feel like people rush too much in this generation more so than past due to technology like some people have mentioned already.

[Trialbyfire]

Yeah maybe 6 months is a bit long but I feel if you are really interesed you'll wait for the person. I don't think people should go out with people for the sake of going out with people. That just seems to be me though. I'm not saying there's any right or wrong but I do think there's a lot of pressure and it just seems like a trend of a "first come first serve" basis. Not so much on chemistry.

 

And for the record, I have been deeply in love with two girls who broke my heart terribly so I have experienced being in a relationship. I just don't feel the need to rush because I want to know what I am getting myself into and on top of that, I am young and still trying to get certain aspects of my life together. So why rush into something that can potentially thwart something in my life? I want to be with someone who is understanding.

 

Non-the-less I personally feel like people rush too much in this generation more so than past due to technology like some people have mentioned already.

Instead of looking externally and playing the blame-game, I think it's time to look internally. You're currently commitment phobic, due to past experiences.

[Not the love ace]

Instead of looking externally and playing the blame-game, I think it's time to look internally. You're currently commitment phobic, due to past experiences.

 

Yeah in a way I'll admit I am. However its not just me, I see A LOT of my peers fall into relationships that are just head-aches and silly. On the same token I have seen success stories where people fall in love at first sight but for the most part I still believe that people rush things and don't take it slow. There's no way I'm going to go out with someone I might know in a few weeks or a month. You can know someone for a few years and they can turn out to be a rotten apple or not the person you thought they were. That's why I take my time. I exaggerated with the 6 months minimum but I do what at least 4 months before I can make a commitment.

 

All-in-all a lot of rushing from what I see.

[xpaperxcutx]

Yeah in a way I'll admit I am. However its not just me, I see A LOT of my peers fall into relationships that are just head-aches and silly. On the same token I have seen success stories where people fall in love at first sight but for the most part I still believe that people rush things and don't take it slow. There's no way I'm going to go out with someone I might know in a few weeks or a month. You can know someone for a few years and they can turn out to be a rotten apple or not the person you thought they were. That's why I take my time. I exaggerated with the 6 months minimum but I do what at least 4 months before I can make a commitment.

 

All-in-all a lot of rushing from what I see.

 

 

Well aren't you a sourpuss? With all sincerity, I think you're too cautious. If you have to completely take apart someone because you're afraid they're liars, then you'll never learn to trust anyone purely for the sake of trusting them. You'll always be skeptical about people's intentions.

 

Sometimes you need to live a little. And just because you've been hurt twice, don't let past hurt dictate the rest of your life.

[Trialbyfire]

Yeah in a way I'll admit I am. However its not just me, I see A LOT of my peers fall into relationships that are just head-aches and silly. On the same token I have seen success stories where people fall in love at first sight but for the most part I still believe that people rush things and don't take it slow. There's no way I'm going to go out with someone I might know in a few weeks or a month. You can know someone for a few years and they can turn out to be a rotten apple or not the person you thought they were. That's why I take my time. I exaggerated with the 6 months minimum but I do what at least 4 months before I can make a commitment.

 

All-in-all a lot of rushing from what I see.

I've been where you are now, situationally commitment phobic. It took awhile for me to realize what I needed to do within myself to correct it. Once that happened, everything turned around in a major hurry.

 

I'm not saying that it's wrong to take your time. If anything, I think it's a good thing. But I don't think commitment phobia is a good thing and is all about you, not all about everyone else.