Author Juno Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 I'm afraid I agree with the other poster. He wants continued dialogue with you (using the word "dialogue" very loosely here since you seem to think that men sending you dick pics is an acceptable means of communication), and you are letting him have it. Your responses continue this dick pic conversation he enjoys having with you. It probably turns him on. "Look at me, I'm sending her dick pics and she's responding to them and still talking to me. Yummy!" Why you are tolerating such behavior is something you have to ask yourself. Is this really what love looks like? A cock pic? Problem with men is they just don't understand "no means no". Same as when I say "stop"...it means "stop". I am not encouraging him to send pics of his cock. When did being nice and civil equates to show me what you are working with? Typical...make the victim to blame.
asuman Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Problem with men is they just don't understand "no means no". Same as when I say "stop"...it means "stop". I am not encouraging him to send pics of his cock. When did being nice and civil equates to show me what you are working with? Typical...make the victim to blame. This isn't about "men.". It's about THIS man. I'm sorry that it offends you to hear the truth, but the truth nonetheless is that you are encouraging his vile behavior instead of putting a brick-wall cold hard stop to it. Why are you talking to him? Why are you sending him text messages? You're not being "civil and courteous". What you're doing is letting him manipulate your feelings. Stop being a victim, take charge of your situation, and put an end to his game immediately.
Author Juno Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 I'm afraid I agree with the other poster. He wants continued dialogue with you (using the word "dialogue" very loosely here since you seem to think that men sending you dick pics is an acceptable means of communication), and you are letting him have it. Your responses continue this dick pic conversation he enjoys having with you. It probably turns him on. "Look at me, I'm sending her dick pics and she's responding to them and still talking to me. Yummy!" Why you are tolerating such behavior is something you have to ask yourself. Is this really what love looks like? A cock pic? Anywhere in my thread did I state this was acceptable? On the contrary, my exact words to describe his action were...replusive, horrible, inappropriate, and distastelful, yet you are trying to hold me responsible for someone elses actions. Hence my earlier comment about men. Which I will now correct to YOU! You seem to think I'm asking for this...completely ignoring how I have expressed my feelings towards his behavior. Yet another who can not comprehend the word "stop". Sorry...your statement was not based on fact, therefore held no truth!
boogieboy Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Anywhere in my thread did I state this was acceptable? On the contrary, my exact words to describe his action were...replusive, horrible, inappropriate, and distastelful, yet you are trying to hold me responsible for someone elses actions. Hence my earlier comment about men. Which I will now correct to YOU! You seem to think I'm asking for this...completely ignoring how I have expressed my feelings towards his behavior. Yet another who can not comprehend the word "stop". Sorry...your statement was not based on fact, therefore held no truth! Youre not asking for this, but youre enabling it. Since you cant control his actions, but you can control yours, You ARE responsible for this, because you are letting him get to you, which he is winning the game. You cant have it both ways. You either have to take his abuse, or you have to tell him to stop texting you entirely-and ignore whatever he texts to you. Hes making it clear that he doesnt want to be civil with you. You gonna keep tolerating it until he spells it out for you? You have the choice to ignore him, but you wont. You cant control him, but hes controlling you pretty well. He gets your attention whenever he wants, because he knows youre still hooked. He's a PIMP! Take the hint from him already. He has another girl, and hes telling you in so many words hes not interested in friendly chat with you, but as a vagina only. For some reason, you lost his interest way before you broke up, and you should have cut him off then.
hoping2heal Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 This isn't about "men.". It's about THIS man. I'm sorry that it offends you to hear the truth, but the truth nonetheless is that you are encouraging his vile behavior instead of putting a brick-wall cold hard stop to it. Why are you talking to him? Why are you sending him text messages? You're not being "civil and courteous". What you're doing is letting him manipulate your feelings. Stop being a victim, take charge of your situation, and put an end to his game immediately. Let's put it this way sweetie, you ever hear the old adage "actions speak louder than words" . You SAY with words you are repulsed, but with actions which is an even louder voice, by continuing contact with him you are SAYING this behavior is okay and acceptable, because you can do it to me and still get my attentions. Now, if you were too ignore him completely after the way he's acting, we'd actually believe you were repulsed by it instead of somehow excited that he's throwing you a bone (uh, no pun intended there). Don't talk about being a victim when you're the reason this behavior is continuing, it's people who add gas to the fire of situations like this, that undermine and take away credibility for people who trully ARE "victims" to behaviors like what your ex is doing.
asuman Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Anywhere in my thread did I state this was acceptable? On the contrary, my exact words to describe his action were...replusive, horrible, inappropriate, and distastelful, yet you are trying to hold me responsible for someone elses actions. Hence my earlier comment about men. Which I will now correct to YOU! You seem to think I'm asking for this...completely ignoring how I have expressed my feelings towards his behavior. Yet another who can not comprehend the word "stop". Sorry...your statement was not based on fact, therefore held no truth! Where in this thread did you state it was acceptable? The same part of the thread where you told us you had a nice, civil conversation with him "this morning," which means you talked to him AFTER he sent you cock pics. It's not your words that really matter, after all. It's your actions, and your actions in conversing with him demonstrate acceptance of HIS actions. As others have said very well, I'm not "holding you responsible for someone else's actions". I'm holding you responsible for YOUR actions. You are in charge of what you will tolerate. Not him. You decide what to tolerate and what not to tolerate. He sent you a cock pic. You should never have spoken to him again. But you did.... this morning. End his game. Shut him out of your life. Sorry if I sound harsh. If I do it's because I sympathize with you and feel for your pain, and don't want you to go through more of it because of this disgusting person. If you want to attack me for doing so, that's fine with me, as long as you also end this guy's game.
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