Juno Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 Little history...we broke up two months ago. Just wasn't feeling the love from him anymore and could tell someone else captured his interest. No contact for 3 weeks, then texted where he did something replusive. See my post "What the Heck" for details. Ok...now it's been 3 weeks since that event and he text me again this week saying he wanted to see me, but just couldn't do it because he is busy, but when things settle in a few weeks he would. I didn't ask, he volunteered this info. Convo takes a twist. Frist small talk about work, then.... him: I wish I could be there with you. I am holding on to something for you now. (yes he did it again, sent pic of his dong). Before I could respond he texts... him: Tell me how bad you want it. me: not like this, miss what we had IRL him: my god, hard as a rock, (then he sends another pic) me: stop him: another pic. me: bye Why is he doing this? He is not making any real effort to see me or to reconcile. Like clockwork, every 3 weeks he does this. I suspect he is seeing someone else, and in fact sent those pics from her place. I could tell because the background didn't look like anything at his home. I am so hurt and confused. At one point he seems like he would like to try again, then he does this. It's horrible, inappropriate, and distastelful. Each episode is followed by weeks of no contact. Why do this to me, especially if he is seeing someone else. What does it mean. To top it off, I still love him and want to have a future with him. I am trying so hard to move on, I really am, but I continue to have setbacks. I feel my life is spiraling out of control. My depression is unbearable. Inisght please.
wow123 Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 I don't remember if you told us in previous posts...how old is he? This is extremely immature behavior like that of a high school student. Even if he is in high school this behavior is rediculous. IGNORE HIM!
Author Juno Posted June 7, 2009 Author Posted June 7, 2009 I don't remember if you told us in previous posts...how old is he? This is extremely immature behavior like that of a high school student. Even if he is in high school this behavior is rediculous. IGNORE HIM! He's 42. Very professional and highly educated otherwise.
Excellent Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 Don't know about you, but just because he's an ex doesn't mean you have to be nice towards him when he does this. Imo you should report him to the police, for sexual harassment, because thats what it is in the end. And if you tell him to stop, and he doesn't stop, then it is the only way.
broken umbrella Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 Why do this to me, especially if he is seeing someone else. What does it mean. It is strictly about sex. He misses having sex with you, don't confuse that with him missing YOU. He is spending his alone time thinking about the sex, not thinking about your relationship. He is taking advantage of the fact that you still love him in a very dirty way. You need to nip this in the bud right now. Or he may try to escalate this by meeting up with you "to talk" or "hang out" at which time he will try his best to have sex with you again.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 He has demoted you down to spank bank material. He does not want you back. What to do? Tell him that you are done and to never contact you again.
Author Juno Posted June 7, 2009 Author Posted June 7, 2009 broken umbrella & LucreziaBorgia, you both are correct. I guess I knew this, he misses having sex with me & nothing more. I suppose I was searching for a thread of hope that he wanted more. It just hurts so much, I'm completely paralyzed. Why even bother with me in this regard if he is seeing someone else. They are obviously serious enough where he's spending the weekends with her. He even sent those pics from her bed. I don't know if I should write him and tell him exactly how feel and that I know what's going on and to never contact me again, or should I continue with my silence, act as if he doesn't exist and maintain nc. Why why why...is sex that important that you have to toy with someone's feeling. Surely he's getting enough from her. Why can't people just be honest? I'm so crushed. should I send him a f*ck off text?
broken umbrella Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 Unless there is a way for you to block his number so you won't get his messages I would send him a f*ck off message, just so that he won't do a repeat in a few weeks.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 Some men are capable of compartmentalizing in that way - no matter how much they love their girlfriend/wife/etc. they will still go out and chase other women. Some men are just that way. Now, that said - I had a boyfriend way, way back who got off on that sort of thing. I did not realize that I was the OW, but he would do all sorts of stuff with me and then report it back to his girlfriend while they were having sex. It was a kink for both of them apparently, because she would do the same thing with other men. Maybe this guy is just one of those twisted sorts who likes to have a girlfriend but live on the nastiest edge possible when it comes to extra curricular activities. Either that, or he takes a sadistic pleasure in showing you your place in relation to his girlfriend's place. Either way, it doesn't really matter why he is doing it. I would simply forward all of the pictures and messages to his girlfriend and let him sort out the aftermath.
boogieboy Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 Hes sending pics to you that he is sending to his new girl, so hes getting double the use out of them. This will not work out especially since you said he lost interest in you. So tell him to stop texting you FOREVER. And dont take any of his reactions to heart. Then ignore his texts from now on. You'll feel a lil better when he starts to respond like hes failing to capture your attn. Delete the texts as soon as you get them.
Trialbyfire Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 Send it all to the new g/f and let her...handle...IT!
Author Juno Posted June 7, 2009 Author Posted June 7, 2009 Hes sending pics to you that he is sending to his new girl, so hes getting double the use out of them. This will not work out especially since you said he lost interest in you. So tell him to stop texting you FOREVER. And dont take any of his reactions to heart. Then ignore his texts from now on. You'll feel a lil better when he starts to respond like hes failing to capture your attn. Delete the texts as soon as you get them. The thought did cross my mind that these are recycled pictures. Probably sending them to multiple women. I just thought I knew him better than this. Didn't really think he would put himself out there like that. I fail to see the enjoyment in it. I've known him for 2 years and he never displayed anything like this before. This behavior just started about 3 months ago.
Author Juno Posted June 7, 2009 Author Posted June 7, 2009 Send it all to the new g/f and let her...handle...IT! If only I knew who she was, I sure would forward his texts and pics. What kills me is I know he is spending the entire weekend with her, and even took those pics while in her bed while telling me he wishes he was with me. I'm so angry and hurt, I hope his ding dong falls off.
Trialbyfire Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 If only I knew who she was, I sure would forward his texts and pics. What kills me is I know he is spending the entire weekend with her, and even took those pics while in her bed while telling me he wishes he was with me. I'm so angry and hurt, I hope his ding dong falls off.The next time he contacts you: Dear Ex: You're sick in the head if you believe this is of any interest to me. It only makes me wish your ding-dong would fall off. Try not to wank off too much because my wish might come true. When you dream of me, you can rest assured that I'm not dreaming of you. Sayonara, sucker. I feel sorry for your g/f. She deserves better than the sleezeball that you are.
asuman Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 This is pretty psychotic behavior, in my opinion. It's extremely disrespectful. Delete his number from your cellphone and tell him to stop sending you these disgusting images. And if he continues, tell him you'll call the police if he does it again.
2sunny Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 men get horny... he contacted you when he was... it's up to you to respond or to block him or to just tell him that you either want it or you don't. either way... just allow him to understand clearly what your intentions are. that ought to clear things up.
Author Juno Posted June 7, 2009 Author Posted June 7, 2009 men get horny... he contacted you when he was... it's up to you to respond or to block him or to just tell him that you either want it or you don't. either way... just allow him to understand clearly what your intentions are. that ought to clear things up. I understand. Heck I get horny too, but I don't send pics of my twat to him. He knows I still love him and he's just being mean by playing with my emotions and giving me false hope.
openbook08 Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 He's 42. Very professional and highly educated otherwise. 42????? tell him to **** OFF and get a room with himself
boogieboy Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 I understand. Heck I get horny too, but I don't send pics of my twat to him. He knows I still love him and he's just being mean by playing with my emotions and giving me false hope. False hope? but I thought you broke it off wih him? He could be doing the new behavior just because his new girl wants pics of his dong all the time. The reason he keeps doing it? cuz you keep responding. So stop it. His revenge is working well. you gonna let that happen?
Author Juno Posted June 7, 2009 Author Posted June 7, 2009 False hope? but I thought you broke it off wih him? He could be doing the new behavior just because his new girl wants pics of his dong all the time. The reason he keeps doing it? cuz you keep responding. So stop it. His revenge is working well. you gonna let that happen? The break up was sort of mutual. The last time we were together, I could tell his mind was else where. He was very cautious not to leave his cell phone in the room with me alone, and took it with him when he took the dog for a 5 min walk. Not that I have ever thought about checking his cell, but his actions just made it obvious that he had something to hide or was anixously awaiting a call or text from someone. Additionally, it was the first time I ever spent 2 days with him without him saying "I love you" once. I did not call him on this, but it went into the vault. Rather than ignore what I was sensing, I asked him about "us". He was not reasssuring, so I said let's just be friends to which he didn't waste anytime saying "sure". Revenge, why? His feelings apparently changed. Why feel the need for revenge. I have been nothing but nice to him. No argument what so ever. As for the pics, if his new girl likes, great. No need to share with me. So I'm left wondering again why? Well, if he does have a new girlfriend, he's not being a very good boyfriend to her. I can't imagine caring for someone and finding this behavior acceptable. As far as allowing this to happen, the convo doesn't start off this way. It starts off normal then from left field a pic pops up on my phone. Usually a succession of 3-5 pics before I can even respond. It's sick & twisted.
boogieboy Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Like I said, You respond, so he will go there every time. If he's not getting what he wants from you, he'll send you cock picks. You have to cut him off. You cant be friends with someone you loved. Especially not in your situation. If you keep getting this behavior from him, then thats what youre going to get because you keep answering. Dont respond and forget about being friends. Move on.
asuman Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I'm still failing to see how this isn't psychotic behavior. I'm in my late 30s and have yet to send any girl I've ever met a "cock pic", much less an exgirlfriend while I'm dating someone else. Maybe that's just me though.
Author Juno Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 He just tried again today...this morning, just now. Began convo telling me about his weekend, and how he had a 1st date with some girl who was just not his type, but is willing to see how the chemistry goes. Goes on how he misses my eyes and lips, and he can't stop thinking about my thighs around his waist. Then he texts...check the pic. I text back, stop, you should be thinking about having someone new wrapping their legs around your waist. He texts back...I can't stop thinking about you. You are a hot piece of women. I write back stop, these are things I don't share/discuss with friends. He finally says, yes you are right. Don't know why things changed. Things were going the way I dreamed about. Not your fault. I am persnikity. I'll mail your stuff back this week. I am so f*cked up emotionally now. I'm still so very much in love with him, and can't believe understand how everything got so screwed up. I probably should block him from my cell ( don't know how) and from my email so I can't not have the anticipation of hearing from him. It's crazy to feel this way, sad, hurt, but still in love, longing, angry (yes I still want his dong for fall off or just be badly injured). I am so trying to move on. I've even met someone who is really into me. Haven't gone on a date yet, but he's pushing hard to do so. I'm a friggin mess.
boogieboy Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Go ahead then, keep torturing yourself by answering his texts. Keep it going for as long as you can. You want his attention, youre gonna get it.
asuman Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I'm afraid I agree with the other poster. He wants continued dialogue with you (using the word "dialogue" very loosely here since you seem to think that men sending you dick pics is an acceptable means of communication), and you are letting him have it. Your responses continue this dick pic conversation he enjoys having with you. It probably turns him on. "Look at me, I'm sending her dick pics and she's responding to them and still talking to me. Yummy!" Why you are tolerating such behavior is something you have to ask yourself. Is this really what love looks like? A cock pic?
Recommended Posts