alg24 Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Hi- I just ended a year and a half affair with a MM. I was 19 when I first meet him and he was 36. Many things occured throughout the 1 1/2 yr... Getting herpes from him (Testing pretty much shows he gave it to me... Not to mention I had clean testing before him and 1 other partner) I fell in "love" with him. He told me many times he loved me etc. The worst part is we saw each other EVERY day MANY times throughout the day. It isn't worth mentioning all the details but I am so beyond depressed and hurt. It ended very very bad. I just though perhaps talking to people in similar situations might help... We were in the same town but right when it ended we were both heading for different states for the summer. The worse thing is he called me a couple days ago... (On a Sunday) It was a screwed up way of saying he was sorry for what he said when it ended, but asked if I please wouldn't call him on his cell phone or text (B/C of the wife-- we use to have a different cell phone for my calls but he broke it) He also told me it was over and that I was stupid and crazy. When HE wanted to call me he would call me. But he doesn't want to speak to me or see me again... Two days later he called... He didn't want to speak to me... Just see how I was doing... He doesn't care about me and its over... I know this part doesn't matter but it ended the end of May... I know he hadn't been sleeping with his wife since mid November... (They both told me) Its just sooo hard... Even though we weren't together when we were together he came over every morning before work, midday, then afterwork... We both rode horses... I did jumping horses and he was a polo groom/player... We rode together all the time as well... The "relationship" got very abusive towards the end-- physically/mental. I'm crazy but still beyond hurting.. Not looking for judgement please.
StoptheDrama Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 I don't know what you've done that you think you're crazy but I can certainly see how he is abusive. He sounds like a complete control freak - telling you he'l call when he wants to talk to you. Then he calls but tells you he doesn't care...that's plain awful. I can tell from your post that you really seem to care about him but I for one am glad you are not with him. He sounds scary.
fooled once Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 I am sorry you are hurting. The best news is -- he is out of your life. Tell him the next time he calls that if he doesn't stop, you will call his wife AND get a restraining order. The hurting will end - I promise. You have a LONG life ahead of you and you will find someone who treats you so much better.
Author alg24 Posted June 7, 2009 Author Posted June 7, 2009 Thank-you. Part of me is like, thank gosh its over. But the other part of me feels utterly broken. I feel that I right now miss the idea of it rather than him. Then how bad it got towards the end. I got very attatched and "crazy" like in a sense. In person. Not stalking or calling him at home. He had a phone that he used for me... But the last day was horrific... My horse had just had surgery on his back legs... I rode into his barn to say good-bye (we were neighbors) and the night before we got into the fight that broke us up (Was this the 20th time we broke up?) (Horrible things were said, mostly on his end... He mentioned sexual things... How I only wanted a man for sex... He knew he was the first person I really cared about... And how is really was the first person I was with... ) Anyway it was beyond stupid to ride into his yard but of course I wasn't thinking straight and knew I was leaving that day for six months... (I mean two nights ago he was spending the night cuddling with me!!) Anyway, he saw me coming and told me to leave. I started to speak but once I knew he was really in a crazy state I turned around and started for the exit. He knew my horse could ONLY walk and had expensive surgery, not to mention this was the second day I had been riding him and he was locked up in his stall... He took a broom and hit him TWICE on the back legs!! His truck was right there and I was soo shocked and angry at what he did to my poor innocent baby I keyed his truck with my cell phone... A disgusting horrible thing to do but to attack a poor innocent animal? You must think I am crazy... In Jan/Feb. and earlier he use to be so sweet. Everything for me in a sense. I was blind and stupid to everything else... I mean I was 20 and he was 37... Really knew how to work me... After the herpes outbreak and things calmed down all we did was fight fight fight. He even was physically abusive. But the most pathetic thing was I begged to be back with him... When we ended it he told me there was a time he was so happy with me, but the last month/two months he only came around for me. He thought it would keep me happy if he had sex with me once or twice a week. He had been sick of seeing me during that time...
Author alg24 Posted June 7, 2009 Author Posted June 7, 2009 Not to mention he told me that I just didnt get it.. He had the family etc. I wasn't the one who suggested him to come over all the time... He pushed and pushed... After work, if later that night we had planned dinner at my house around 8pm, he will still stop by at 6pm for 15 minutes and hang out. (We lived 5 minutes away from each other) He decided to come over 5:30/6AM!! in the morning for coffee.. Walk into the house and lay back in bed with me.. Make coffee together then we would both go to work... Or leave work early and be with me...
Lucky_One Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 I don't care if he is a multi-millionaire who bought you a helicopter so you can fly to New York to buy new panties every morning from Agent Provocateur and has booked the Waldorf for your wedding on July 4th and Obama's giving you away. I'd have his f*cking ass arrested yesterday for hitting my horse. What is WRONG with you???
ednadean Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 time for you to cut the cord. when he calls you -- just don't pick up. At the moment you're still responding to him -- so he still feels like he's in control. I had an abusive [mentally] relationship in the past -- and it was so hard to let go -- but at one pt my friend was like "omg -- what is wrong with you? this guy is a complete jerk, he's totally manipulating you and wants to control you and you're completely falling for it" I honestly had no idea until she pointed it out. As soon as I saw that he was a psycho -- I completely cut the cord. He went a little insane because he couldn't control me anymore and it took him like 12months to get the message but I never let up -- and when I think about it in hindsight I'm like "I can't believe I ever went there" hang in there, completely ignore him [obviousy be civil in social situations], and stay strong. He'll get the message in time and go and find someone else to torture!
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