lovinhim3108 Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 so my boyfriend of almost 2 years is going to Vegas with his 21 yr old brother and his dad. All 3 are big fans of strip clubs. This is an all boys trip for the week. I have expressed that I prefer for him to not get a lap dance, but he says if his dad buys him one then he wont turn it down. He's being honest with me, Im just uncomfortable with this. While I'm completely confident in myself it just makes me feel like im not that exciting. What should I do?? let it go and let him have fun, or let him do it and be hurt by it? Link to post Share on other sites
lora22 Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 It sucks that your bf isn't taking your feelings into consideration 21 is young though - this is incredibly stupid, but probably (not knowing your bf) his response has more to do with "impressing" his dad/brother and just being one of the guys than anything else. Does your bf respect your boundaries in other ways, or is him blowing of your feelings in favor of himself or other people a general thing in your relationship? What's his relationship like with his dad and brother? Honestly, it doesn't seem unreasonable that he just say to his dad, "Hey, I have a gf and I'm not comfortable with lap dances." But I also don't know what his relationship is like. Are you positive they're going to be going to strip clubs? There's LOTS to do in Vegas. Since your bf is a "big fan of strip clubs," how has he handled this situation in the past with you? Just some things to think about. Second, the strip club thing makes you not feel exciting? Well...how do you feel about your bf looking at porn? They're DEFINITELY not the same thing, but in general I think men find them "exciting" for the same reason that porn is. That said, basically NO guy wants to bang a porn star, or a stripper for that matter. Link to post Share on other sites
lora22 Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 Yes it does! He is in Vegas.. it's what guys do. You think he should turn down a lap dance in front of the guys?? I personally agree with your point of view, however the OP is very uncomfortable with lap dances, and it's her right to feel that way. She needs to work out with her bf what their boundaries are; she doesn't have to "suck it up" and put up with it. And it seems incredibly obvious, but clearly it's not to you. Her bf would have plenty of chances to tell his father in private before they actually get to a strip club. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted June 7, 2009 Share Posted June 7, 2009 so my boyfriend of almost 2 years is going to Vegas with his 21 yr old brother and his dad. All 3 are big fans of strip clubs. This is an all boys trip for the week. I have expressed that I prefer for him to not get a lap dance, but he says if his dad buys him one then he wont turn it down. He's being honest with me, Im just uncomfortable with this. While I'm completely confident in myself it just makes me feel like im not that exciting. What should I do?? let it go and let him have fun, or let him do it and be hurt by it? How would he feels if you told him you were going to Vegas with some girls and that you'd be OK if one of the girls would pay you a private dance with one of the male dancers.. If it's OK for him.. it HAS to be OK for you... end of story. Plus if he has a good relationship with his dad (which he seems to have) he should be comfortable enough to tell his dad before he leaves that he will NOT have a lap dance.. But then again.. what goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas... Have a serious talk with him.. there is not much you can do... really.. if you really don't like that.. then you need to move on.. instead of destroying yourself with him.. Link to post Share on other sites
angie2443 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks it's a bit creepy that these boys are going with their dad to a strip club. I guess the bounderies in this familly just feel a bit too loose for me. Anyways, lovinhim, it's up to you to decide what you can and can't put up with in a relationship. Figure this out and then have a talk with your boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 OMg thank you. I thought I was the only one who thought it was gross that his dad was going to buy him a lap dance and watch it. YUCK. That is just too much for me. I don't have a problem with guys going to strips clubs on occasion. I don't think a girl dancing and shaking her boobs in his face would bother me, either, but I am 99.999% certain that my BF would never go any further than that (nothing of his would go unclothed and he wouldn't touch her) from nothing but a sanitary standpoint. I would be grossed out if he went with his dad though. That is SUCH a peer thing to me. Link to post Share on other sites
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