loveslife Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 An ex boyfriend called me late last night after an evening out with some guy friends. He probably had been drinking. I missed his call, but saw his number on caller ID. He didn't leave a message. We've been talking recently (sober) and it's been nice. We're getting really close. Our breakup was circumstance rather than friction. Really, I'm just curious what generally prompts a guy to call after drinking. It's not a booty call since we don't currently live near each other. And we had just talked during the day and were planning to talk again in about a week.
mogul Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 ALOT of vodka redbulls, crown coke, gin and tonics and a few round of shots.
carhill Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 It's known as 'liquid courage'. Essentially, a loss of the fear which permeates when one is sober, along with a lowering of inhibitions. Also, and I've noted this in myself, even though I'm more openly emotional than most men I know, I 'feel' more intensely when drinking (I don't get drunk; hate that). It's almost a booster rocket to my sensitivities. A little tip I've learned from a lot of experience. If a person is stable emotionally, they can drink and maintain, in other's perception, their intrinsic personality, perhaps with a few exclamation points. If one is emotionally unstable, their personality when drinking will likely be completely different or grossly exaggerated. So, for a guy who is loud, opinionated and would call you up at any time of the day or night sober, a drunk dial would be normal. But, for the guy who is quiet, polite and respectful when sober to exhibit such behavior would indicate, to me, a modicum of instability. It means his brain is working hard to keep those sober behaviors extant. TBH, and I've experienced the reverse (women calling me when drinking), I prefer that they drink less and share with me more honestly and in a sober fashion. That also obviates the requisite apology the next day for the things they said
Trialbyfire Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 An interesting observation carhill, especially about the "fighting with yourself" part. I don't drunk dial. If I know someone is drunk dialling, which is pretty obvious, I don't like it or take it seriously, unless it's abusive behaviour. Then it's worth distancing yourself, even further.
Land Shark Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 I've been known to do it. For me it's a matter of feeling good and having a good time and wanting to connect with the girl who I wish was there to share it. I generally try to pressure her to come out. I haven't done it for a long time. Probably because I'm a more serious drunk now and don't get very silly.
carhill Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Yes, I don't take the 'liquid courage' phone calls seriously. To me, it's part of friendship, if such is otherwise healthy. Kinda like guy friends who cry in their beer. We all deal with cr@p in our own way. I regurgitate psychology on LS
Shock Me Sane Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 I start drunk dialing when no one wants to drink with me anymore and I don't want to go to sleep. Haha
CandiceIsMe Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 I think it comes down to the liquid courage thing, after a night out with the guys perhaps he was feeling a bit brave?
carhill Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 It can also be "while he's with the guys". Group dynamics often give men (and women) courage that they might not otherwise have when alone. No alcohol required.
dreamergrl Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 When I was younger, I used to do that. It was because I didn't want to be alone.
Author loveslife Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 Thanks guys. It was fun to see he had called because it meant he was still thinking of me after our earlier conversation. When we first dated he drunk called me one night. It was kinda sweet. Not obnoxious drunk and not saying things so different from what he said to me sober, just a little more intense emotionally. I don't remember the last time I called someone drunk or what I was (or was not) thinking. Generally that I wanted them in some way, I think.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 If I drunk dialed my ex, I probably curse him out. When I drunk dial other guys, it's because I don't have courage to actually call them when I'm sober. That's why I haven't had a drop in weeks. I'm afraid I might end up calling my exFWB guy.
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