stepka Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Okay, here's the sit: I'm going to a wedding tonight for a coworker. Another coworker will be there, and I've had a hugemongous crush on him for months now, but he's shy and I'm shy, and he's very professional so it has been hard for us to talk at work. I have reason to believe that he likes me, from the little gestures he's made when out of his "sphere"--he practically does this little Gomer Pyle dance when he sees me in the hallway. We're both in our 50's, but he's black and I'm white, so I'm wondering how to communicate my interest w/o coming on too strong--I've noticed that he tends to freeze up sometimes at work, but then that is work. Also, I have no idea if he is even willing to date a coworker, but we are both off for the summer and I'm looking for another job. The lady whose wedding it is said that she thinks he's been burned badly in the past, though I've not told her that I like this man. (She may have guessed though.) Anyway, the clothes part is taken care of, I just need advice on how to approach him--advice from men would be much appreciated, and experienced women too, since I'm still a newbie in the dating world.
missdependant Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 I would give plenty of thought to dating a co-worker first. Approach him with small talk "what do you think of this party?", "having fun?" etc. Engage in a light conversation, and let it take off. If, for some reason it doesn't take off, consider it a sign that you might be incompatible in terms of a relationship.
Lucky_One Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Is there going to be dancing? If so, have a drink for courage (not too many, or you will end up doing or saying something really ridiculous!), go over to him, take his hand, and say 'Hey, come on and dance with me!" while pulling very very gently. Don't ask, or he might say no, and the gentle tension on his hand will propel him towards you and the dance floor. Make it a slow dance, and that way he can't excuse himself that he can't dance (altho, let's face it, most black guys have great rhythm on the floor). If you see him dancing prior, then ask him on a fast song, if you think a slow one is too intimate just yet.
Author stepka Posted June 7, 2009 Author Posted June 7, 2009 I would give plenty of thought to dating a co-worker first. Approach him with small talk "what do you think of this party?", "having fun?" etc. Engage in a light conversation, and let it take off. If, for some reason it doesn't take off, consider it a sign that you might be incompatible in terms of a relationship. Well, we did make small talk for a while and it was starting to take off, but then he excused himself and said he'd be right back and even touched my arm when he left, to reassure me. Then he was gone for about a 1/2 hour and the people at our table were wondering what happened to him, but then he came back and we talked for a few minutes more, but then it just died despite my best efforts and after that there was nothing, and I wouldn't have dared to get him on the dance floor esp since he said he can't dance--at all. So it was a bust, but at least I won't be left wondering about anything this summer and at least I didn't make a fool out of myself. I think he must have been on the phone for all that time, but what in the world? Well, I think it's just a complete lack of interest. My thoughts on dating coworkers though--I think it might be okay if you're serious about someone--I wouldn't consider it for a fling. Several of our coworkers are married couples who met at work. It's possible though that he won't date coworkers or white women. I'd feel better if I knew that though, b/c this put my self esteem in the dust--silly I know, but that's how I feel.
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