gorgio Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Long story short: I dated a girl for 2 years, was not emotionally available to her was not ready for a relationship since I was just past a previous relationship. I Broke up with her when things got too close cause didn't want to lead her on but she was already in love with me and got hurt badly. I realized I made a mistake and went back to her, but again, was not committing yet since she had already moved on and I believe started seeing someone else. Some months later she broke up with me and told me she has someone and I went NC. Realizing that we never gave it a fair chance, we started chatting again 1 month later and she wanted to get back to me and leave the other guy (after I told her my true feelings to her for the first time). She came back to me, it didn't last long, and then she left back to the other guy. I guess she was still hurt by me. I went NC again until she emailed me. 1 week later I responded and now we are just emailing back and forth. It's killing me since I want her but she is keeping her distance, don't think it's so much cause of new guy, but cause I hurt her. Should I just go NC? Is this situation reversible? We are a perfect fit but I was just not ready at the time cause I was coming out of a horrible breakup. Is it possible to keep communicating like this? Is there any use?
Cloudberry Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 This is my first time posting here, so my viewpoint may be different than other people's. It's not surprising she is keeping her distance, if you hurt her feelings badly the first time around. In this situation, limited contact would make more sense than NC. NC would be good for you, if you want to get over her and move on. You are not in the position to play hard to get. But if you want her back, and she is emailing you, why don't you just ask her out on a date, and outright say you would like to see if it's possible to salvage your relationship?
Author gorgio Posted June 7, 2009 Author Posted June 7, 2009 This is my first time posting here, so my viewpoint may be different than other people's. It's not surprising she is keeping her distance, if you hurt her feelings badly the first time around. In this situation, limited contact would make more sense than NC. NC would be good for you, if you want to get over her and move on. You are not in the position to play hard to get. But if you want her back, and she is emailing you, why don't you just ask her out on a date, and outright say you would like to see if it's possible to salvage your relationship? she is still seeing someone and that's why she probably won't go on a date yet. Last time I started the LC process we got back together briefly so I believe it will take longer now. I am managing the LC but if it continues to be hard on me will go NC.
Author gorgio Posted June 10, 2009 Author Posted June 10, 2009 I hope I get some advice here... I have decided to go NC since all the emailing back and forth didn't make me feel that great... I guess I haven't healed yet. Some people on this forum recommend going LC after a while, and that's what I tried to do since it was close to a month that we had no contact (she sent me the first email) Should I start going LC only when I don't care about her anymore? She is seeing someone else so LC might not be the right choice. Thanks for advice.
NopeNah Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 My take would be to maybe respond one more time...Letting her know that will now be going NC to heal yourself. Since you still have feelings for her and she is with someone else..If she responds to it, you dont respond back! Why? Because you're in NC for you as of your last email. If she ever wants you back she will find away to find you. Goodluck!
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