This is the one…the one you’ve all been waiting for

[Full Of Hope]

Wow. Lots of posts in the time it takes to take a shower. I have somewhere to be, but I promise to answer all questions later tonight.

 

Really quick though, let me elaborate on the job thing. Our boss was my good friend LONG before he became my boss. We are pretty close...he knew of the A before I even told him. He could tell just by my demeanor. He knows what I want, and he's willing to help me get there if he can.

Hope that clears it up for you...

[Touche]

This is so true. Afterall, they're divorcing because of the affair. I don't understand how the OW would make things worse, unless the wife decides not to get divorced just to spite the husband.

 

Yeah because after all, he can do whatever he wants now except talk to her in front of the wife.

[2sunny]

This is so true. Afterall, they're divorcing because of the affair. I don't understand how the OW would make things worse, unless the wife decides not to get divorced just to spite the husband.

 

she never stated that they are divorcing. this is what was stated...

 

[Q]They are deciding together how to best handle the situation for their family.[Q]

 

HUGE difference!

[carhill]

I don't understand how the OW would make things worse, unless the wife decides not to get divorced just to spite the husband.

 

To me, it's a non-event (making things 'worse') unless there's fault involved (dependent upon jurisdiction) and relevance to child custody and property settlement. If no fault, it's just petitioner and respondent and grounds, typically 'irreconcilable differences'. The MM can easily be petitioner

[Reggie]

What a horrible story of treachery and abuse. I hope you survive.

[2sunny]

To me, it's a non-event (making things 'worse') unless there's fault involved (dependent upon jurisdiction) and relevance to child custody and property settlement. If no fault, it's just petitioner and respondent and grounds, typically 'irreconcilable differences'. The MM can easily be petitioner

 

that is - assuming his willingness to take action.

[carhill]

From the OP:

 

They are on the same page now about what their future holds. They discuss living arrangements, divorce, custody, etc…They have children who are not aware of the A. They are deciding together how to best handle the situation for their family.

 

If they are truly 'discussing' living arrangements, divorce, and custody, and are on 'the same page', it doesn't sound like a path to MC and sayanora OW, does it, considering what the OP has had represented to her by the MM?

[carhill]

that is - assuming his willingness to take action.

I always look to a healthy man to take positive action

[2sunny]

at this point - the bottom line is that the OP has yet to include any solid evidence that he has taken action to divorce and be with her.

 

everything is much too premature to get her "hopes" up.

 

that's all i'm saying - just like it better when the OW is realistic about the situation at hand and what is actually happening instead of making decisions based upon his "words."

 

hate to see her set up for an enormous amount of sadness and pain.

[xpaperxcutx]

she never stated that they are divorcing. this is what was stated...

 

[Q]They are deciding together how to best handle the situation for their family.[Q]

 

HUGE difference!

No she stated:

 

D- Day for the relationship is the end of this year. I have no doubt it will be settled long before that day comes.

 

 

 

Unfortunately that's less than reassuring considering that just gives him more time to dilly dally with the wife, and change his mind.

 

I'm curious, OP, is he still living at home or has he moved out?

[2sunny]

I always look to a healthy man to take positive action

 

healthy meaning "available?"

[xpaperxcutx]

From the OP:

 

 

 

If they are truly 'discussing' living arrangements, divorce, and custody, and are on 'the same page', it doesn't sound like a path to MC and sayanora OW, does it, considering what the OP has had represented to her by the MM?

 

I'm curious at how hard it is to finalize a divorce. It does take a while to divide assets and shared joint accounts right? Custody is also a problem depending on who gets the kids and settling visiting days.

 

What about who gets the house? I'm certain The MM will give the wife the house?

 

In the case of the OP, if the MM has audacity to cheat, then he knew that he had to give up his children, because I'm certain the wife will fight for custody. And also, if the MM plans to move on with OW, wouldn't it be better just to give up the kids and everything, and move in with the OW?

 

I'm curious to know what he has to fight for, since by the OP's account, he would just be as happy leaving his wife and being with her.

[Touche]

No she stated:

 

 

 

Unfortunately that's less than reassuring considering that just gives him more time to dilly dally with the wife, and change his mind.

 

I'm curious, OP, is he still living at home or has he moved out?

 

See, that's why I asked if he's still living with the wife. She never answered. Because if he is that's a HUGE red flag that he's not leaving. If the wife knows about this and they're all still under the same roof, it's not looking like he's out the door to me.

 

OP, also I'm very curious about something. You said you spoke to the wife. What did you talk about? How did that go?

 

As for the work situation, ok so your boss was/is your friend. Yeah, that clarifies it I guess. I still think something isn't kosher with that. But ok, I'll take you at your word.

[Mino]

ok everybody... something aint right here. Either poster is a troll, or totally in the fog. Everybody thats been here a while KNOWS its never that cut and dry... if this story is real, Lol, she got a long way to go... He hadnt even moved out yet. She talked to the W... LOL and she is just going to step aside, just like that, LOL, End of the year D? lol, divorce does not happen in 6 months in most cases, especially with children involved. She is totally in the fog, IF she resally thinks the Happy Ending is around the corner... MHO. Biggest competition of her life? LOL, thats just funny....something is totally off here and you guys dont see it.... troll...

[Mino]

and another thing, How many mm leave in the first year? I dont know of any, ususally the drama continues for several years, several d days.... it never runs smooth, ( it should, but it never does) correct me if I am wrong:o

[Touche]

We don't know if she expects divorce by the end of the year or just for him to have moved out.

 

As for being a troll...we don't really know that do we? I already said some of this is suspect but I've giving her the benefit of the doubt. She does seem unusually naive...even more than most in this situation. I mean the very thread title says it all, really.

[2sunny]

OP - how old are you - and how old is your MM?

[Touche]

My guess is quite young..under 30. He's probably in his mid to late 30's. The title of the thread tells me she's young as does some of the language she uses..the whole unicorn and rainbow thing, the naivete', the stuff about "competition" and the language talking about the "means to an end."

 

I suspect she's gullible and believes without question everything this guy is telling her.

 

He's managed to string her along now for almost a year now...he's either REALLY, really smooth or she's extremely gullible...maybe it's a bit of both though.

[Montclair0011]

If we are taking a vote, I say troll, but I've been wrong before.

 

Any which way, this is a fantasy situation. If not than the OP is in for some serious karmic reactions, I think (hope :-)). Despite my background as a BS, I often find I have sympathy for some of the OW's on this board.

 

Not this one though. She's cold-hearted and calculating and hopefully a fake. Are OW really this immune to the pain they cause and so joyful about helping to break up a family? That's the sterotype and how I viewed the woman who went after my husband. But, from reading the stories on LS it seems most OW express more depth of emotion, don't they? This one just does not sound real.

[joyz]

Geography doesn't matter. We are meant to be together. As for him keeping his word, I have no doubt he is. If I couldn't trust him completely, why would I even want him?

 

 

you sound like someone who keeps her word and haven't been lied to by the people you love. therefore you think that he is like that also. but you know what, words are only words, i would advise you to really look at his actions as you go fwd bc that's where the truth is.

[fooled once]

 

People get married every day for all sorts of reasons, usually not for love but because it's what they're 'supposed' to do. People get divorced for all sorts of reasons, and alot of the time it's because they realized they married for all the wrong reasons, and sometimes they find the love they never knew existed. It's 2009, not 1929, and the world has changed and people are starting to do more of what they want for themselves and less of what society thinks they should do.

 

Divorce is never the end of the world, it's the drama created around it by the BS that ends up hurting the kids more than it needs to. Everyone gets a second chance, even the BS, IMO, so suck it up and make the best of it.

 

Oh that really turned into a rant didn't it. sorry.

 

This has to be one of the most immature posts I have read in a long time.

 

People marry for all the wrong reasons and it isn't because of love? It isn't 1929, you are right.

 

And how nice of you to decide that the BS is always the problem in a divorce How about the cheating spouse? It isn't ever their fault, right? I mean, how dare a BS get upset that their WS didn't decide to end the marriage before cheating? How dare the BS not just step aside when their cheating partner decided to get a little on the side. How dare the BS feel hurt, anger, disappoint, and disgust that the person they married for love chose to sneak around, lie, cheat and be dishonest. How dare that BS not just wish the cheater good luck

[fooled once]

It ended the second he decided to be with me.

 

He isn't with you.

 

He is with his wife.

[Touche]

He isn't with you.

 

He is with his wife.

 

I know. That's what I don't get. WHAT ended? Full Of, never answered my questions. As far as we know he's stiill living with and sleeping with his wife. So how exactly did it end? I guess he probably told her, like I said, that they sleep in separate rooms or something. He probably told her they never have sex too. It's weird that this has been going on for a year and she still has hope.

 

He's stringing her along with talk of renting vs. buying a house. Like I said, pretty smooth... but someone who wasn't gullible and naive would see through this game of his. But when you're in Unicorn and Rainbow Land, you don't see reality.

 

This guy is slick though..he found the perfect "victim."

[Lyssa]

I wasn't posting for answers. I was posting because this forum could use a story with a happy ending and this is it.

 

Yes, this forum could use a happy ending. A REAL happy ending where the MM took actions to be with OW and not just saying nice things to the OW. Yours doesn't sound like it.

 

I wouldn't start a thread if the MM is still living with his W. I'm engaged to FMM and I didn't even start a thread!

 

Like OWoman said; don't be blinded. It took us almost 2 yrs to be together - that included the divorce (which he actually signed the paper and presented it to me), move in and start a new life together. In between, we had a few bumps as well. It's NOT as easy as you think it is. You're pretty much deluded and no, I am not jealous (in case you think some of us are).

 

But you're giving people false hope really. Your situation remains to be seen.

 

I agree. Also, she chose the wrong handle .

 

if this story is real, Lol, she got a long way to go... He hadnt even moved out yet. She talked to the W...

 

A very long way to go.

 

Some of us are actually supportive but when the story seems a bit off - we can't help but call it out. Sorry.

[MWC_LifeBeginsAt40]

This has to be one of the most immature posts I have read in a long time.

 

People marry for all the wrong reasons and it isn't because of love? It isn't 1929, you are right.

 

And how nice of you to decide that the BS is always the problem in a divorce How about the cheating spouse? It isn't ever their fault, right? I mean, how dare a BS get upset that their WS didn't decide to end the marriage before cheating? How dare the BS not just step aside when their cheating partner decided to get a little on the side. How dare the BS feel hurt, anger, disappoint, and disgust that the person they married for love chose to sneak around, lie, cheat and be dishonest. How dare that BS not just wish the cheater good luck

 

Call me immature but when a BS kicks and screams and does everything but step aside and say sayonara to the WS creates a little drama.

 

Wish him good luck, kick his a$$ to the curb, take what's yours (50%), make arrangements for child support, keep your dignity, get some counselling and find a better man to love you. Obviously you feel betrayed so why would you display all the anger and STILL want to keep him around?