wow123 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 So after being broken up for about 7 weeks and going NC for 3, I broke NC. She initiated contact a few times and I finally called back. We talked for a long time about the usual stuff like we were together. She got very weird toward the end of the converstation and I asked her why she had been contacting me. She couldn't give me any answer other than "I don't Know". I knew calling back was the wrong thing to do but I did it anyway. When our relationship was brought up she said "I don't want to work things out right now" but wouldn't say never. Any thoughts?
bluewolf17 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Wow123- I am sorry. I read your post, and this is what I immediatly thought. She missed you, a little. She isn't sure why she is contacting you, but she does know it's not because she wants you back. Plain and simple. I know your probably got your hopes up, only to be let down again. Why, why why? I have no idea what they do it. Why they act cold with us, but they feel it's okay to reach out to us. I just don't know what compels them. But lesson learned, go back to NC.
bluesky123 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 I agree, try to work things out. My ex said the same thing to me when we broke up. I haven't heard from her since.
boogieboy Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 You know the answer to this, theres 50 posts on it. She continues to contact you because you are her security. She wants to know that you will be there for when it doesnt work out with her new guy, but she wont actually take you up on it. It makes her feel better and gives her an ego boost when she knows you are pining for her. It also helps her get over you if shes able to keep speaking to you, cuz now youre acting like youre ok with the breakup and she doesnt have to feel guilty. You just set yourself back months! STOP IT! So go back to NC before you ruin it. She HAS to MISS YOU. She only missed you a lil, and you messed it up! Dont remind her of the good times. She wants to relive what she misses without getting back with you. Dont fall for it! She has to know that she cant get in touch with you to miss you for real. Did you notice she wasnt that curious about you? DOnt offer any info, especially if she isnt giving up any. Shes most Def not gonna want to talk about the relationship before shes ready. You guys have to be out of touch for a while, and then if she calls you up, youre a new person. get it? Then she might be attracted to the new you, but dont count on it. This game sucks, but you should be finding someone new in the meantime, so that you can righteously ignore her. Dont worry, she needs you to answer for her self esteem, she wont stop. She will respect you more if you dont contact her in the long run. She wont forget about you, dont worry.
whichwayisup Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Yes, her contacting you has nothing to do with you. It's all about her and HER needs. She couldn't care less about the effect it has on you. Get back into NC mode and stay there. For your own sanity..
LostInLimbo Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 So after being broken up for about 7 weeks and going NC for 3, I broke NC. She initiated contact a few times and I finally called back. We talked for a long time about the usual stuff like we were together. She got very weird toward the end of the converstation and I asked her why she had been contacting me. She couldn't give me any answer other than "I don't Know". I knew calling back was the wrong thing to do but I did it anyway. When our relationship was brought up she said "I don't want to work things out right now" but wouldn't say never. Any thoughts? Listen and follow the NC Rule, I found myself exactley where you were, I broke NC after 2 weeks, hung out for a week with my EX and even slept with her BIG MISTAKE, I regret it now because she had ignored me after that for several days, so Itxtd her and said I will not bother her, she wants to txtd, she can do it, and then remained VERY LC, only saying what helped me, not so sure LC will help you.. I have her txting me everyday and I don't think she likes it, her last txt to me was stop being an idiot..so I stopped all together, my recent txt from her was asking if I still want to goto counciling with her, I never replied because my thoughts weren't good and would have been mean... So in other words, I would take the NC very serious, or IF IF anything VERYVERY LC, stop being there at her beconcall........
Author wow123 Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 Thanks for the advice. I actually waited a week to call back. She told me that she can see that I am not just sitting around waiting for her. I told her she's right.
LostInLimbo Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Thanks for the advice. I actually waited a week to call back. She told me that she can see that I am not just sitting around waiting for her. I told her she's right. NP (wow) The NC does work, depending on what u wanna use it for, doesn't always work to make Exs run back, its just mainly a healing tool, but does in some cases...do you want her back or try to work things out with her? if so...then I would go VERY LC as so you don't look to be desperate (not saying you are, just perception to her maybe) and doesn't look like your waiting around for her, but also doesn't look like your done with her fully, only in a way that your not going to put up with her antics and have np moving on if you have to....only my opinion....
Author wow123 Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 Thanks Lost, Yes I do want her back but she does not want to try again. Im pretty sure she is seeing someone else which I am sure played a part in her not wanting to fix things as she probably has strong feelings for him. If there is any chance it will be when/if they break up but I really don't think it is going to happen.
NopeNah Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Sorry that you're going through this...again. If you want to see my BIG nc mistake look at the thread "check this out" in the coping section! Haha Was a rough one! Hang in there it will get better!
Soul Bear Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 There are no such things as mistakes I would go back into NC again. Obviously she is thinking about you. Wait for her to make the next move, sounds like she is a little confused still and maybe you caught her off guard
crackerjax9 Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 thanks guys.. i should have listened to you guys earlier i was just in denial that the relationship was over... after a couple of weeks of talking here and there he told me he wasnt sure if he wanted to be with me anymore. well i want someone whos SURE.i blocked his number and am ready to move on and find someone who appreciates me.
Soul Bear Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 thanks guys.. i should have listened to you guys earlier i was just in denial that the relationship was over... after a couple of weeks of talking here and there he told me he wasnt sure if he wanted to be with me anymore. well i want someone whos SURE.i blocked his number and am ready to move on and find someone who appreciates me. Wrong thread?!
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