LostInLimbo Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 I think there are similar posts, sorry for a repost, but I suppose everyone is different... I recently got dumped (3weeks ag) by an Ex/Gf she had left 3 times in 3 yrs, and I have always been "There" for her when we txt messaged each other or anything, our recent break up I broke the NC rule after 2 weeks, which led me to disaster, things went well for the 4 days of back to hanging out, but day 5, slept together and she hadn't contacted me for 2 days after me trying.. She now has txt me atleast once a day, but all this time I have made myself LC as not in the past, the last time she had txt me was early Thurs morning (2am), asking me if I was awake, I replied approx 8 hrs later, she called my house, that Thurs morning no message left(9:30am) I wasn't home...she then called my cell @ 10am(never answered) txt me said I need to talk to you, but about work, said I wasn't the right person to talk to for the issue, called again @ 10:05am (I never answered) she txt and asked why wasn't picking up, told her I couldn't right now, she then txt me again, about a work question, told her again I couldn't help her, so she txtd me again and told me to stop being an idiot, I haven't heared from her since that last comment she txtd me, as I never replied to her insult, as I always did in the past... Do I message her? or just leave it be and go back to NC or continue LC, seems like I have just added fuel to her fire about me in not replying or reacting the way I usually do/would have, what she is used to me doing...... any advice or help?? TY
NiceGuy4Ever Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 Just ignore her and don't reply back. Ignore her call and her texts. Break all contact with her. If she feels anything she will realize that she's losing you completely and may seek you out. If you want her back see if she does but keep your distance. If you don't just ignore her and forget her. She doesn't seem worth it.
boogieboy Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 Yeah you keep responding is why she keeps texting. Completely ignore her -- at least until she wants to talk about you two, and not work. If you dont want to be a sex buddy, and shes not interested in a relationship anymore, you have nothing to gain by responding to her. But then again, if you do ignore her, it will drive her crazy. You have to act like you dont need her. She feels in control of you by getting responses from you whenever SHE wants, you gonna let her do that? Give her at least a month of ignoring, after 3 years she might relize she wants back in. Prepare for her to NOT want back in tho...
Author LostInLimbo Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 Yeah you keep responding is why she keeps texting. Completely ignore her -- at least until she wants to talk about you two, and not work. If you dont want to be a sex buddy, and shes not interested in a relationship anymore, you have nothing to gain by responding to her. But then again, if you do ignore her, it will drive her crazy. You have to act like you dont need her. She feels in control of you by getting responses from you whenever SHE wants, you gonna let her do that? Give her at least a month of ignoring, after 3 years she might relize she wants back in. Prepare for her to NOT want back in tho... Thanks everyone, for the replies, she has text me since asking if I still wanna go for councilling, I remain NC, breaking NC only got me into a heap of trouble and felt like crap, as for preparing for not to want back in, I always take that attitude as soon as she leaves, never ever going to lie to myself.... Thanks again, everyone...very good advice on here, one piece of advice really sticks in my mind, "stop replying, its only boosting her ego"
Ronni_W Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 she has text me since asking if I still wanna go for councilling, She asked you if you are willing to work with her to repair your relationship, with the help of a relationship counselor. If you WANT to be with her in the future and you are willing to put forth a good faith effort, then I'd suggest you let her know that your answer is 'yes'. Otherwise she will realize that this relationship is well and truly over, and she will start her own 'moving forward' process.
Author LostInLimbo Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 She asked you if you are willing to work with her to repair your relationship, with the help of a relationship counselor. If you WANT to be with her in the future and you are willing to put forth a good faith effort, then I'd suggest you let her know that your answer is 'yes'. Otherwise she will realize that this relationship is well and truly over, and she will start her own 'moving forward' process. Hi Ronni, Thanks... I am just being careful to when and how I reply which always leads me to NC, becuz it seems I get burned and I get shoved aside, IF I were to reply..just IF, I don't wanna make a big deal of it and give her the assumption I am chasing her, so it would need to be 2 the point, providing I feel I still want that... TY Everyone
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