Nikki Sahagin Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Hey everyone! To those of you familiar with my story, well one month and one day (exactly) later, I am feeling SO much better. There are still the odd pangs of emotion and I think about him still....but it doesn't feel so raw, so extreme, so overwhelming or unbearable. He keeps contacting me saying how he is finding it hard and it hurt (???) God knows why seeing as he dumped me. But well for me its all positive - a lovely guy really likes me (not sure how interested I am in him yet) but i've also met a GREAT guy at work...not the rebound kind either, but one that gives me butterflies and I feel a click with. Obviously i'm not sure what will happen with either, but even if nothing happens, its reminded my heart that it can still flutter....and will one day, for better or worse, fall again! So really this is just a message to those still struggling. Honestly do allow yourself the time and any time you go out look good - you never how who you'll meet. Don't go looking but be open and friendly to those you'll meet - you'll be suprised what may follow!
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 This is great! I'm so happy for you. I'm not ready to date, yet. And the thought of being with anyone else still makes me feel a tad bit uncomfortable but I'm getting there! Congrats!
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 Its not so much about dating, I definately wouldn't rush into that....but its about meeting people out of the blue who manage to pull on your heart strings...and you think...'hey....but only 1 person is meant to make me feel like that'. Even when your heart is hurt it can still 'react' or 'respond' to people. Like I said i'm not sure anything will come from either of these 2, and I don't necessarily want it to. I need to be alone and live my life and get stronger, but in the middle of all the misery and grieving for my ex, its weird to think 2 people out there have still made me feel something...and not something silly. Its reassuring And it will happen for you too. Also it reminds you, the things you thought were unique/irreplacable about your ex, well those qualities can be found in other people. I thought me and my ex were the only 2 teenagers in the world who'd never smoked a cigarette or done a drug....and the guy at work hasn't either. So just the little things you think no-one else will say/do/feel etc - someone will, and hopefully they wont have the faults of our exes!
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Aww, this is heartwarming :') Not kidding, either! But yeah, I know what you mean. It's funny how the THOUGHT of being flirty with other people and dating and all that makes me feel uncomfortable and stuff, but I've done my share of flirting since the breakup Not much, honestly, since I'm afraid I'll reel someone in too much when I'm nowhere near ready to even kiss somebody new yet. Overall, though, I know what you mean.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 Aww, this is heartwarming :') Not kidding, either! But yeah, I know what you mean. It's funny how the THOUGHT of being flirty with other people and dating and all that makes me feel uncomfortable and stuff, but I've done my share of flirting since the breakup Not much, honestly, since I'm afraid I'll reel someone in too much when I'm nowhere near ready to even kiss somebody new yet. Overall, though, I know what you mean. Yeah....I think so long as you don't rush yourself into anything, you wont be adding anymore hurt to yourself. I guess everything happens at a natural pace, its only when you force a pace that things tend to fall apart. Yes the flirting can be good at times - gives you a bit of an ego boost when you need it, but can just bring about a whole new set of problems. One of these days though you'll find someone who you'll REALLY want to turn the flirting up a knotch with Until then I think we all need to focus on having relationships with ourselves; really understanding ourselves and where we've gone wrong in our relationships (as much as we can be to blame).
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Yeah....I think so long as you don't rush yourself into anything, you wont be adding anymore hurt to yourself. I guess everything happens at a natural pace, its only when you force a pace that things tend to fall apart. Yes the flirting can be good at times - gives you a bit of an ego boost when you need it, but can just bring about a whole new set of problems. One of these days though you'll find someone who you'll REALLY want to turn the flirting up a knotch with Until then I think we all need to focus on having relationships with ourselves; really understanding ourselves and where we've gone wrong in our relationships (as much as we can be to blame). I totally agree. One of the only things I like about this whole thing is how I get to focus on myself. What I want, what I've always wanted to achieve or do. I can finally do it now. And it's interesting how you never realize how much time you actually spend on a relationship until it ends.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Yeah....I think so long as you don't rush yourself into anything, you wont be adding anymore hurt to yourself. I guess everything happens at a natural pace, its only when you force a pace that things tend to fall apart. Yes the flirting can be good at times - gives you a bit of an ego boost when you need it, but can just bring about a whole new set of problems. One of these days though you'll find someone who you'll REALLY want to turn the flirting up a knotch with Until then I think we all need to focus on having relationships with ourselves; really understanding ourselves and where we've gone wrong in our relationships (as much as we can be to blame). I totally agree. One of the only things I like about this whole thing is how I get to focus on myself. What I want, what I've always wanted to achieve or do. I can finally do it now. And it's interesting how you never realize how much time you actually spend on a relationship until it ends.
fabulous_chk Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 I've been flirting and dating since the break up, and about 9 weeks later I feel absolutely fine. There are bad days, especially if NC is broken by the ex, but now I just spent the night with a would-be lover, and I feel like the rope that binds me to the ex is finally broken! Nikki, I'm happy for you! There's no way but up from here.
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