Cariel Posted October 28, 2003 Posted October 28, 2003 Awhile back I had posted that I was afraid my mother was showing signs of some senile dementia and wondered if it was OK for me to talk to her physician. After several "yes's" (thanks guys) I did so and on her next appointment he spent extra time with her and finally concluded that it was one of her medications that was causing the short-term memory loss and etc. He took her off it and within a week she was back to normal. Problem now is her constant nagging for me to get married! I have been seriously involved with a wonderful man for the last year, and tho we love each other deeply I'm not interested in marriage or co-habitation - both of us like our space and are very happy as we are. I've tried explaining this to Mom in about 1000 different ways and she's still on my case. Any suggestions to at least get her to shut up about it?
Tony T Posted October 28, 2003 Posted October 28, 2003 "Any suggestions to at least get her to shut up about it?" Talk to her doctor about putting her back on that medication!!! Your only other choice is to get married....not a bad idea, really.
midori Posted October 28, 2003 Posted October 28, 2003 Quite simply tell her to butt out, and that failure to do so will result in decreased access to you and the details of your life. Tell her that her nagging is unpleasant, presumptuous, and unappreciated. She's an adult, she needs to hear it like it is. A loved one speaking their mind once ought to be acceptable -- they worry, after all, out of concern. But after that it's controlling and manipulative, and no sane person would seek out the company of someone who's trying to run their life for them. If there's no way to avoid your mom, because of her health or other reasons, then just tune her out. You don't even owe her the courtesy of a reply if she refuses to allow you to live your own life without her interference.
cindy0039 Posted October 28, 2003 Posted October 28, 2003 Originally posted by Tony "Any suggestions to at least get her to shut up about it?" Talk to her doctor about putting her back on that medication!!! Your only other choice is to get married....not a bad idea, really. Tony! Don't you realize that some people may actually take you seriously?? Shame on you.
HokeyReligions Posted October 28, 2003 Posted October 28, 2003 I'll echo Midori's response. Short of putting duct tape over her mouth you may never get her to shut up, and if you do get married she'll probably find something else to pester you about -- like grandkids. Maybe you could give her something else to think about by saying cryptically, "mom, at least I'm daing men now" and walk away.
Author Cariel Posted October 29, 2003 Author Posted October 29, 2003 Unfortunately, I've already given her grandchildren (as the French would say, I'm "a woman of a certain age") and she's just as naggy about them as with anything else! When I stopped by the house to drop off dinner tonight (she's disabled and can no longer prepare meals...or at least, she wants everyone to think that and has convinced Dad) she started up again and I told her, "...if you want to remain on speaking terms, shut up about my getting married. I don't want to get married. I've been there, done that, hated it. Your decision." For the first time in memory, she was speechless...and I didn't even have to buy duct tape, midori! Let's hope she takes it to heart. Y'all are great :-)
moimeme Posted October 29, 2003 Posted October 29, 2003 Tony! Don't you realize that some people may actually take you seriously?? Surely not!
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