DNU1 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Some of you may know my story from the infidelity forum. Here is link if you want to see it for yourslf http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=188263 That thread got locked down partly because of thread/jacking and partly because it got a little testy. So I've decided to post here on the divorce forum. Toss in your advice and feedback as you see fit. Today is a pretty good day. STBxWW has the kiddos this weekend, so I'm a free man. Headed to shoot pics of a local band tonight, then catching movie with my brother on Saturday. It's good. Wife is a doc and for past 10 years I've felt tied to the family...either taking care of kids while she working, or taking care of kids so she can unwind after work. I'll post more later. D.
TrustInYourself Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 I read your thread. Interesting of you to post in the infidelity boards. I think your approach is rock solid. You seem like a pretty reasonable guy. What kind of advice are you looking for?
Author DNU1 Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 I read your thread. Interesting of you to post in the infidelity boards. I think your approach is rock solid. You seem like a pretty reasonable guy. What kind of advice are you looking for? TIY: Thanks. I thought I'd first post in the infidelity boards so people could see my story...hopefully it might help or give strength to others in similar situation. REasonable...probably too reasonable. Thanks again. Advice: I never in a gazillion years thought I would be facing divorce. Literally wanted to die in her arms...loved her that much. She was my queen, the light of my life. Still hurts, but I keep reading her e-mails and posts to the OMs and keep reminding myself what she did...over and over again. And the multitude of lies. Ick. I guess I'm just looking for advice as I plod through this divorce. Advice on how to handle situtations, how to interact with STBx, how to move foward with my life. I've got a pretty good plan so far. Will be putting my thoughts down here looking for some feedback. Thanks again. D.
FoolMeAgain Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 D- You're in the right place... I too spent alot of time in the infidelity board before posting here. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t190632/ - I guess i wasn't ready to accept the inevitable. When you love someone, it's hard to picture them causing so much pain.... My stbx became the master at lying to my face... I've lived thru 2 Ddays and 3 OM's .... Just being on this board has helped me accept where I'm going. On the other board, it was easy for me to remain the 'victim' - Over here, there is a sense of responsibility to my actions (and in-actions) It's hard to get pissed when these folks call you 'a doormat' - cause you know they're right... It's empowering to say 'enoughs...enough' - Keep Posting! FMA
Author DNU1 Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 FMA: Hang in there. I read your first post and can see that we are dealing with similar women...they serial cheaters, serial liars who only care about their "feelings" and needs. Be strong brother. And FIGHT for your rights as a DAD! Go after her juggluar. Don't give in. Fight. I've already managed joint legal custody with me having final say, and physical custody because of wife's work schedule. My STBx feels horrible and ashamed and guilt-ridden. I did nothing wrong in this marriage. If anything I tried TOO hard. Even her two closest BFFs tell me this isn't about me...it's about her. Her selfish needs for affection, attention, etc. I'm moving on and making a life for myself and my kiddos. I just hope that someday she finally figures out what's all messed up in that pretty little head of hers.
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