MissTheo Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Hello Everyone I'm new here and decided to join so that I can chat with people in a similar situation as me. I met my boyf online, he lives in the US and I like in the UK. I sometimes wonder if what we are doing is crazy and most of my friends and family don't understand what it's like to be in a LDR. It so nice to join this forum and have contact with people who are in a similar situation. So hello everyone
surgngnl Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 hi there! to pass along something that may give you a bit of optimism, my best friend met her now hubby online, him living in the UK, she in the US. after dating on the phone/internet/letters for a year, he moved here and they are now happily married and expecting their first baby. so, keep your chin up! it could just work out!
hoping2heal Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Yes, my best friend also met her bf online, and after 9 months they met in person, have been together since and are marrying in september.
sweetie40 Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 yeah it does make you wonder whether its crazy im new on here too so hi.
Lyssa Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Welcome to LS. I was in a LDR for a year. It was tough as we were in different continents and it took 13 hr flight to get to eachother! We are now together - well, we still have to travel back and forth cause of his kids but in a few months time, we will be in the same country and I can't wait! What helped us got through the LD is lots of phone calls, text messages and emails. I wish your relationship the best and I am sure with lots of work and understanding, it will work out.
Thornton Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Hi I also met my bf online, he's in the US and I'm in the UK. We've managed to maintain an LDR desite not being able to see each other too often, and we're hoping to get married some time next year (finances allowing) so I can finally go to live with him. The problem with US-UK relationships is that it's extremely difficult to get a US work visa for you to live there, and almost as difficult to get a UK work visa for him to live here, so often the only way to be together is to get married... and it's difficult to know whether you want to marry the person when you've only had an LDR with them and have never lived with them and had a day-to-day relationship. Plus many commitment-shy men wouldn't even consider marrying an LDR girlfriend just so they could be together. The second biggest problem in a transatlantic LDR is the time difference! Let me know if you figure out a way round that one, because my bf and I still struggle with it. This site has some good idea for stuff to do with your LDR partner, gifts to send, etc: http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/ Can I ask if you've ever met your LDR boyfriend? Or do you only know him online so far?
Author MissTheo Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 Hi everyone Thank you so much for the welcoming messages and wonderful success stories. It means a lot for me and really gives me encouragement. With regards to my LDR Boyf... we have been chatting since Febuary of this year and I flew out to meet him in April and we spent 10 days together. I was lucky because I worked as crew for an airline to his destination which really helped because I was able to meet him 2 more times before I was made redundant(laid off) from my airline job!!! It's so typical that this happened because it made the whole thing so much easier. Talk about bad timing!!! However we talked about it and he said that it doesn't change the way he feels about me if he can't see me so often. Anyway recently he flew to the UK and spent 9 days here and i'm flying there at the end of the June. So we have met up quite a few times since that first meeting in April, which is quite remarkable because of the distance! i'm also in the lucky position to keep my cheap flights for a whole year!! So we will get to see each other often. I'm fully aware of the complications of this kind of relationship however with regards to immigration. I am looking at doing an internship in the US for 12 months next year because i'm currently finishing my degree and i'm eligible to do one. It's not ideal but its better than nothing. So that's the background on the whole situation...
Author MissTheo Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 Hi Plus many commitment-shy men wouldn't even consider marrying an LDR girlfriend just so they could be together. The second biggest problem in a transatlantic LDR is the time difference! Let me know if you figure out a way round that one, because my bf and I still struggle with it. The commitment thing does worry me slightly because I realise that this is probably going to be the only way to be together. As we have only really been dating since febuary online and April in real life, I feel its a little too early to say how this will end up. I would like to make him aware of this but I don't want to say anything because it is early days and I don't want to scare him...may I ask with your boyf...how far along were you together before this issue came to light? The time difference is really annoying but I guess i'm lucky because he works his own hours so has some spare time to chat and stuff. One way around this I think is to arrange a time when you can chat even if it means you have to get out of bed early a few mornings. That seems to work really well...i'm also never far from a computer so when i wake up we often MSN each other just to say good morning or good night haha...it's annoying though! Sounds like you managed to find a good one though! :-)
Thornton Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 I think the issue of how we could ever be together was sort of in our minds from the beginning, and 3-4 months into the relationship we had a conversation about how it would be cool to spend more time together in the future. I mentioned the difficulties with work visas, and he just came out and said that if I couldn't get a work visa he would marry me. So the idea of marriage was raised fairly early on! I think the best way to raise the issue is not to talk about marriage per se, but just to talk about your future as a couple and think about which one of you might want to move to be with the other, talk about jobs and work visas but NOT marriage. Once you've discussed your future and it's pretty much accepted that you want to work something out, it makes it easier to introduce the idea of marriage at some point.
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