donnab5 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Ok, I have worked my job ( quit in Dec 2008 ) since 2005 so the guy i cheated with (i am married) the guy isnt. So the guy i am ivolved with has been my good friend since2005. Ok he always flirted with me but ya know i worked where nothing but truckers came thru every day. I never was anything but a friend until April 2009,i saw him one day we talked he starting calling me we were talking sex on the phone so last night was the big night, finnally we were together. It was awesome everything i wanted a lover to be but he hasnt called me today but keep in mind really he always says ill call u and 2 days later he will ya know, and he will call me tomorrow, really and truly that is just "him". But I kinda have the feeling that he is one of those that maybe has been hurt in the past wont get to close and want let me get to close, and i think thats why he will not call sometimes or text. I have fussed him out for it ignored his calls all day for it and when i did answer he apoligized really good said he would start text back every time not just when he felt like it and calling to. This is a very decent guy we are talking about to, no scum bum or anything. So who thinks he is just useing me who thinks he is scared, not to mention i am married, but lovers can be close and care and even love each other. I am really confused Help with advise if u can thank u. I am new here glad i found yall Donna
DNU1 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Donnab5: I'd suggest you ask to get this thread moved to the "OM/OW" section. I'm a four-time BS (betrayed spouse) and you are going to find little empathy from me.
schewter Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Mind you, I'm a little biased on this but I don't put guys who pursue married women in the "very decent guy" category.
Dexter Morgan Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 But I kinda have the feeling that he is one of those that maybe has been hurt in the past wont get to close and want let me get to close, and i think thats why he will not call sometimes or text. hmmm...lets see. he was probably hurt in the past....but its ok for him to f##k someone elses wife? Uh....ok:confused: I have fussed him out for it ignored his calls all day for it and when i did answer he apoligized really good said he would start text back every time not just when he felt like it and calling to. This is a very decent guy we are talking about to, no scum bum or anything. If he is screwing someone elses wife, he is not a decent guy. I don't care how you try to slice it. So who thinks he is just useing me who thinks he is scared who cares? You are cheating on your husband. Hopefully he is using you. and hopefully your husband finds out. and hopefully if/when he does, he will divorce you. not to mention i am married, but lovers can be close and care and even love each other. I am really confused Help with advise if u can thank u. I am new here glad i found yall Donna You are confused? boy, I'd say. I, and I'm guessing a majority of people in the "infidelity" forum could care less about whether you think you are being used. YOU ARE CHEATING ON YOUR HUSBAND. my concern lies with a man being betrayed here, not the concerns of a cheater wondering if her #$%^ buddy is using her or not. So you going to divorce your husband? Or you going to just keep cheating on him?
schewter Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 For some reason I'm thinkin' Jerry Springer, WWF, etc...
OFGnomore Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Mind you, I'm a little biased on this but I don't put guys who pursue married women in the "very decent guy" category. Are you my H? And trust me, I deeply dissapointed my H with my decision to get involved with another M. But for our healing, H said it made a huge difference (by email proof) that xMM was the pursurer and I ended it a few and finally with him. And then confessed on my accord. Making a HUGE difference in rebuilding trust and healing.
schewter Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Are you my H? And trust me, I deeply dissapointed my H with my decision to get involved with another M. But for our healing, H said it made a huge difference (by email proof) that xMM was the pursurer and I ended it a few and finally with him. And then confessed on my accord. Making a HUGE difference in rebuilding trust and healing. My wife came clean to me when the OM visiting our city was imminent and he was pressuring her to book a motel for them...she flew close enough to the sun to get burned. I consider what she didn't do to be far more significant than what she did do. She didn't show me any of the Emails he sent her except the one she received the day after the cat was out of the bag...in it he blamed all that had transpired on "the creator" (he's a 12 stepper) which gave me a good insight into HIS character. I don't need to see the sexually charged stuff...that would just get stuck in my head. "The devil's in the Emails"...now there's a country song begging to be written. I know he was the pursuer just by twenty years of knowing my wife and her character...I know he manipulated circumstances by getting my wife to include him in her forward list of office Email jokes so he could establish a direct line to her...that's how he got the ball rolling. He also mis-represented his own marital situation as verified by his wife...I would have ZERO respect for this man even if he hadn't attempted to bed my wife.
OFGnomore Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 My wife came clean to me when the OM visiting our city was imminent and he was pressuring her to book a motel for them...she flew close enough to the sun to get burned. I consider what she didn't do to be far more significant than what she did do. She didn't show me any of the Emails he sent her except the one she received the day after the cat was out of the bag...in it he blamed all that had transpired on "the creator" (he's a 12 stepper) which gave me a good insight into HIS character. I don't need to see the sexually charged stuff...that would just get stuck in my head. "The devil's in the Emails"...now there's a country song begging to be written. I know he was the pursuer just by twenty years of knowing my wife and her character...I know he manipulated circumstances by getting my wife to include him in her forward list of office Email jokes so he could establish a direct line to her...that's how he got the ball rolling. He also mis-represented his own marital situation as verified by his wife...I would have ZERO respect for this man even if he hadn't attempted to bed my wife. H wanted the details. He didn't want this guy to own anything that H didn't have. They're weren't many though. This guy has a lot of, uhh, "aging male issues". (FTR, that also helped H in disclosure) And yeah, xMM is married with 5 kids under 18 and was a "community leader". So my H outed him in the community. It was pretty horrible. His family is pissed at my H for doing so because as they have said, "affairs happen", it's how you act afterward that determines your character. And according to them, H's behavior of being a pissed BS is low character by outing us. Can you believe it??
schewter Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 H wanted the details. He didn't want this guy to own anything that H didn't have. They're weren't many though. This guy has a lot of, uhh, "aging male issues". (FTR, that also helped H in disclosure) And yeah, xMM is married with 5 kids under 18 and was a "community leader". So my H outed him in the community. It was pretty horrible. His family is pissed at my H for doing so because as they have said, "affairs happen", it's how you act afterward that determines your character. And according to them, H's behavior of being a pissed BS is low character by outing us. Can you believe it?? When I called his home I found a beaten down, controlled woman. His wife merely sighed at what I had to say...she'd been around this block several times with this lad. People who say "affairs happen" likely have been there before and have chosen to live with it. This guy portrayed his marriage as OVER to my wife...said he was "living in the basement for the sake of the kids"...I know this sounds like bs on the surface and my wife looks naive but the guy was good to go on short notice...the one time my wife met him in person was last July when he came to town with his family (when my wife remarked that that was unusual he said they were not hostile)...she had lunch with him and he asked her if she would be able to get away that evening...she said no and didn't but the fact that he was up for a motel rendezvous with (what she thought) was his X-wife and kids in town with him convinced her that he was not in a committed relationship. When I told his wife this she just shrugged...I got the sense that he just does what he wants and she asks no questions. My wife and I don't know people who live that way...all very baffling to us.
In Like Flynn Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 I don't know what was worse....the fact that this was a obvious troll or the fact that this person couldn't put together a coherent paragraph!!!
whichwayisup Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 So who thinks he is just useing me who thinks he is scared, Aren't you using him since you're already married? Why don't you divorce your husband and go be with this OM?
HsMomma Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Here's my reply to the other thread titled "Am I crazy or is he?" I'm thinking you're a troll (somebody who comes to these forums & makes up a story just to get attention). BUT, if you're not, you are seriously disturbed. As Dex pointed out, you show absolutely no remorse for the affair or for your betrayal of your husband. I'm not sure what advice, if any, you really expect to get from this forum. A lot of us have been the betrayed spouse (BS) and aren't likely to be the most receptive to your situation. My suggestion? Grow up, divorce your husband, get your head screwed on right and try to figure out how to have respect for yourself and others. Paint me purple & call me disgusted!
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