cellphone07 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 My girlfriend and I are nearing almost a full year of dating. For the most part, I think we have a very solid relationship, and are usually able to iron out any difficulties, or at least reach a conclusive agreement with each other in mind. To describe us; she is more of an outgoing and liberal person, while I am the slightly shy conservative guy. Nonetheless though, our personalities do mesh rather well despite our differences in opinions, well, most of them at least. We are both very open to discussing any problems, but this one in particular I feel like I need another opinion about. We enjoy our time together, but sometimes find that we need to catch up with friends as well. As such, my girlfriend on occasions prefers to have girl's nights with some of her long time friends. No big deal there, I'm also a fan of guys nights. Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of guys mixing with girl's nights, or vice-versa, or at least not to the following extent. I asked her how things went one of the nights, and she mentioned how she and her friends watched some chick flicks, ate lots of food, had a sleepover, etc. Nothing much, but she also mentioned that they invited a guy friend, who is genuinely a good and long time friend. The reason was that he is pretty much "like a girl" as he is very metrosexual. Oh well, still no worries there, I know that he's a great friend, she often mentions that he's like a brother. The kicker though, comes in the fact that in explaining this night, she begins to mention how she and her other 2 friends managed to coerce him into divulging his penis size, and furthermore goes into details about how shockingly big it is. Now here, don't get me wrong, I value her honesty big time and it shows to me that she is really trustworthy. I just can't seem to process this information without getting a little disturbed, and maybe even jealous as to how a "brother" like friend's penis can be the center of attention during girl's night. Please help me out here, should I be concerned in any way, and are my uneasy feelings justified in this situation. Thank you
lora22 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 How would your gf feel if you crashed a "girl's night" to hang out with your good long time girl friend and her girl friends, and the girls were giving you SOOO much attention, and started talking about your penis and how awesome it is, and then later you told your gf about how all these girls were talking about your penis and asking questions about it, and they decided you had the best penis EVER?!
carhill Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Well, OP, if this guy is a long-time friend, pre-dating your arrival, you should already know him and he should be a mutual friend of yours. So, no worries BTW, get used to women discussing penis sizes of guys they know, would like to know, have fantasized about and, most frustratingly, had sex with in the past. If your woman is respectful, she won't discuss it in front of you. That's a good boundary, IMO.
Author cellphone07 Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 Thanks for the quick replies lora22: That really puts things in perspective in an unusual, yet mildly logical manner, heh. carhill: I know that I don't need to worry about this fella, or my girl magically falling for him after all of the time she's known him. But as you say, the whole respectful side of it is a little unnerving. And by the way: "guys they know, would like to know, have fantasized about and, most frustratingly, had sex with in the past" After thinking about it, I've heard each of these situations crop up in the past. I don't mind terribly, as I know she's very open about a lot of subjects a conservative like me might find a little distasteful. The situation at hand just gives me a disturbing feeling unfortunately.
lora22 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 If your woman is respectful, she won't discuss it in front of you. That's a good boundary, IMO. Carhill said it better than my sleep-deprived brain could manage. That's kind of what I was getting at - r.e. my post, your gf would probably be pretty jealous I'm guessing, but you didn't do anything wrong, right? The real issue was that she told you about it. I also think it depends on what your boundaries are though, and to be honest, maybe even age to an extent. I know that I would not be happy if my boyfriend was discussing his penis with a group of girls, unless he was joking around. Other people wouldn't care. What you described really reminds me of high school. Women will always talk to each other about the size of guys' penises, just not usually with other guys, and they don't have to coerce a guy to tell them how big he is first either.
carhill Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 No worries. Share that with her. Your conservative nature is valid and she should respect that. Perhaps temper her candor in favor of you. Reward her with a little mischief in the bedroom
Author cellphone07 Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 I understand you on that one. It is indeed high school, senior year for her, I'm fresh out though. And yes, as soon as she figured out my dimensions, it didn't take long before I found out her close female friends knew as well.
Author cellphone07 Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 Anyways though, all in all thanks for the views. I will discuss it again with her, and let her know it makes me uncomfortable. I'm sure she will have the courtesy to spare me the awkward feelings anytime in the future. I know that she has no ill intent towards me by any of this
Dexter Morgan Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 We enjoy our time together, but sometimes find that we need to catch up with friends as well. As such, my girlfriend on occasions prefers to have girl's nights with some of her long time friends. No big deal there, I'm also a fan of guys nights. Unfortunately, I'm not a fan of guys mixing with girl's nights, or vice-versa, or at least not to the following extent. of course not. Girls night out is suppose to be just that...the girls. Guys shouldn't be involved. Otherwise its "Girls night out without the boyfriends, but other men are ok". The kicker though, comes in the fact that in explaining this night, she begins to mention how she and her other 2 friends managed to coerce him into divulging his penis size, and furthermore goes into details about how shockingly big it is. and how do you think she'd feel if a woman came over to a guy's sleepover, and you got her to show you her tits? And something tells me he didn't just tell them about his size, he probably showed them. Now here, don't get me wrong, I value her honesty big time and it shows to me that she is really trustworthy. I just can't seem to process this information without getting a little disturbed, and maybe even jealous as to how a "brother" like friend's penis can be the center of attention during girl's night. exactly....its inappropriate for a "male" friend of your gf, or anyone's gf, to be having discussions about his d!ck especially when he spent the night there. That goes beyond friends. She wants to know about his d!ck, that is what it boils down to. Please help me out here, should I be concerned in any way, and are my uneasy feelings justified in this situation. Thank you Dunno, I'm a little torn here. While on one hand I wouldn't be upset if he was girly and like one of them. But I think the line was crossed just a bit by her, and her friends', curiosity about his d!ck. Why don't you ask her...."why do you need to know about the size of a male 'friend's' d!ck??" Ask her if she would be ok with you asking a female friend to whip out her tits.
Dexter Morgan Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 BTW, get used to women discussing penis sizes of guys they know, would like to know, have fantasized about and, most frustratingly, had sex with in the past. them talking about penis size amongst themselves is all fine and dandy. asking a male "friend" about his size is another. And really, do you think they didn't ask him to show them and do you think he didn't?
Dexter Morgan Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 she begins to mention how she and her other 2 friends managed to coerce him into divulging his penis size, and furthermore goes into details about how shockingly big it is. the bolded part tells me that she actually SAW it, and more to the point asked to see it. how can you go into detail about how "shockingly" big this guy's d!ck is if they didn't see it.
lora22 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 ...yeah that would change things if that's how it went down. Inappropriate.
carhill Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 And really, do you think they didn't ask him to show them and do you think he didn't? Well, I've been him and, if they had asked me such questions or made such indications, I would have politely excused myself. Their questions to him were inappropriate, IMO. Their talk, OTOH, perfectly normal. I've heard it many times. They have "names" for various male's members. Quite teenagerish, if you ask me
whitburn1986 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Not sure if this is the best advice.... but here I go anyway. You should sit down and talk with her about it, in a calm and sensitive manner. Talking about penis size is one thing, but when you're in a relationship with a partner discussing someone else's penis size is a no-no. (after all, would she like it if you and the guys were discussing larger-chested women or "hot babes" when she wasn't around?) She can't have it both ways, and she should know that. She should try and keep her male friends as just that, friends. No serious flirting, sexual jibes, sexual teasing, nada. It just isn't right for those in a (committed/serious) relationship. The old Golden Rule applies here. Well that's what I'd do anyway.
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