funkify Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Sorry if I double-posted this, I thought it would be more appropriate in the 'Dating' forum I'm 25, my boyfriend is 22 and we have been together for 6 months. We both live at home and come from families where sex before marriage is disrespectful. Of course we don't believe in this but we do believe in respecting our parents so we do not make it 'obvious' that we are having sex (ie. don't sleep at eachother's house, go on holidays etc). Sadly, our sex is confined to the back of a car. But we'd rather have it that way than disappoint our parents who are nothing short of amazing in every other way. The issue is this, I am a bit worried about the infrequency of sex we are having as a young and relatively new couple. We have gone max 3 weeks without sex, average is 2 weeks. We are both in mentally and physically demanding jobs. He comes over most nights but we are that tired that we are happy to stay home and chill out. When we do go out, we become tired early and usually go home without having sex. We are still sexually attracted to each other and love each other very much, and we are very touchy-feely, all the time. The thing is, even though I get sexual urges for him, most of the time I'm content with cuddling up to him in front of the tv (or other affectionate expressions). I think he is tired more than anything but is also happy with this arrangement most of the time. They say that sexual problems are psychologically manifested but I cannot find any fault in our relationship that would suggest this. I guess I'm looking for some insight into this. Perhaps it is just the tiredness, or the fact that the 'car' is not romantically enticing. I do remember when I was younger (18-23) this not being a problem. thanks
lifereversal Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Do physical activities together, sprints, runs. Hobbies that will get your heart pumping and push yourself. Treadmill at the gym. Soccer. Rollerblading. Activities get body and mind going; you'll notice the amount of energy you will have and how high your sex drive will be right after. Eat healthy if you don't already do. If you don't, eating healthy together is a new hobby you can do together. About the parents, are they home all the time? They must leave the house during the day on weekends.
Author funkify Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 Thanks for your reply, lifereversal. I used to be extremely active (ie competitively) and this helped a little but ultimately I had to give up because of career priorities, as I was becoming sleep deprived in order to fit everything in. Unfortunately, we have a parent each who is retired therefore there is always someone home. He also has siblings who live at home.
kizik Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 The easy answer? Work, save, move out. I would say move in together, but my guess is that you are somewhat financially dependent on your parents, who would disapprooove of that idea... so each of you should get your OWN apartment. That way, if the relationship ends, there's no messy move-out.
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