kizik Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 So, this is clearly inspired by shadowplay's thread, "How often do you need sex?" My question is this, because I never see this question asked here and I'm starting to feel like a freak. Anyone here like me who hasn't gotten laid for a looong time? After my breakup a year ago - nothing. I'm not a player or a pimp (looking at you, mr. dream merchant). Whatevs. Go ahead and mock me, but does anyone feel my pain? -k
EddieN Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 You were cool enough to respond in my thread kizik, so I'll back you up on this. Yeah, now and then I have these surges of loneliness, espeically when I see/read that everyone else is getting laid almost every day. All I can say is quality over quantity man. And, also, when you're not getting laid you're probably doing something more productive. I would have liked to have had a girlfriend for the last 2 years, but I gotta say, I've had a lot of time to work on productive stuff like grades and art. If I had a girlfriend sucking up all my time, I probably wouldn't have so much momentum going with my own pursuits at this time. That's how I like to look at it.
sb129 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 No but have you looked at porn to help you through the drought?
shadowplay Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 No but have you looked at porn to help you through the drought? OF course he has! He's a guy after all.
Author kizik Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 As I said in another thread - yes - and according to MeaganRaye and JerseyShortie, I masturbate b/c I am "insecure".
samspade Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 If you want sex, and you apply yourself, you can go out and get it (without paying for it). The only thing stopping you is you. I've had long droughts in the past, but that was because I was too passive about my sex life. If you're a man, you have to make an effort, meet women, try, fail, and try again. And you should have fun while you're doing it. And it doesn't mean you have to be a player, either. If you're looking to be monogamous, you STILL have to get out there and sample. The women that fall into your lap are generally the ones you won't want. And, also, when you're not getting laid you're probably doing something more productive. I would have liked to have had a girlfriend for the last 2 years, but I gotta say, I've had a lot of time to work on productive stuff like grades and art. If I had a girlfriend sucking up all my time, I probably wouldn't have so much momentum going with my own pursuits at this time. That's how I like to look at it I agree with this by half...while it's true that you should fill your free time if you're currently not getting any, I think that if you ARE getting plenty of sex, you should still keep your life filled with plenty of activities and hobbies that don't necessarily relate to your partner. One reason is so you don't become stagnant and boring, which as we've seen is the kiss of death in a relationship. The other is in case your relationship (or f--k buddy) dries up, you still have plenty of distractions to keep you from sinking into depression. Girlfriends should NEVER suck up all of your time, as you put it.
samspade Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 As I said in another thread - yes - and according to MeaganRaye and JerseyShortie, I masturbate b/c I am "insecure". Don't listen to those two...you're better off masturbating than dating (or banging) anyone like them!
Author kizik Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 The women that fall into your lap are generally the ones you won't want. I agree with you. There's a fat chick who's all over my jock. Does that mean I should f*ck her, even though I am not into her whatsoever? Your logic is a bit strange. We f*ck only who we WANT to.
Author kizik Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 Don't listen to those two...you're better off masturbating than dating (or banging) anyone like them! Yeah, of course I would not "listen" to them. Haha, it's so funny, women getting mad about guys jacking off! As if we have a choice. Hey, ladies, stop having your periods, it's insecurity, can't you see that?!
samspade Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 I agree with you. There's a fat chick who's all over my jock. Does that mean I should f*ck her, even though I am not into her whatsoever? You could, to end the drought. She might just be after sex, too. If you think you're way out of her league, or that you couldn't enjoy the sex, don't do it.
Author kizik Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 You could, to end the drought. She might just be after sex, too. If you think you're way out of her league, or that you couldn't enjoy the sex, don't do it. Thanks, yeah I'm trying to say I don't WANT to have sex with her. It wouldn't be fun, as I'm not into her.
carhill Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 IIRC, November was the last time for me, precisely on the day my wife's house funded . So, what would that be? Maybe 7 months almost? I'm still married so won't be having any sexual relations until after divorced and healed. I'm not wired for casual sex and don't think it's fair to a potential to pursue a relationship until the divorce is final.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Coming up on 9 months. I think this is the longest I have ever gone. I am getting sick of it. My next boyfriend is gonna be in trouble.
EddieN Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 If you want sex, and you apply yourself, you can go out and get it (without paying for it). The only thing stopping you is you. I've had long droughts in the past, but that was because I was too passive about my sex life. If you're a man, you have to make an effort, meet women, try, fail, and try again. And you should have fun while you're doing it. And it doesn't mean you have to be a player, either. If you're looking to be monogamous, you STILL have to get out there and sample. The women that fall into your lap are generally the ones you won't want. True, but it isn't so easy when you can't get into bars yet. I agree with this by half...while it's true that you should fill your free time if you're currently not getting any, I think that if you ARE getting plenty of sex, you should still keep your life filled with plenty of activities and hobbies that don't necessarily relate to your partner. One reason is so you don't become stagnant and boring, which as we've seen is the kiss of death in a relationship. The other is in case your relationship (or f--k buddy) dries up, you still have plenty of distractions to keep you from sinking into depression. Girlfriends should NEVER suck up all of your time, as you put it. Yeah but I'm sure they still take a lot of time. =p I get what you're saying though.
Author kizik Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 IIRC, November was the last time for me, precisely on the day my wife's house funded . So, what would that be? Maybe 7 months almost? I'm still married so won't be having any sexual relations until after divorced and healed. I'm not wired for casual sex and don't think it's fair to a potential to pursue a relationship until the divorce is final. Coming up on 9 months. I think this is the longest I have ever gone. I am getting sick of it. My next boyfriend is gonna be in trouble. Thanks for opening up. Apropos of nothing, it's not for lack of trying to date, just haven't met anyone who digs me lately.
hoping2heal Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 As I said in another thread - yes - and according to MeaganRaye and JerseyShortie, I masturbate b/c I am "insecure". LMFAO!!!! . I'm sorry, but what? ROFL. Oh my god, I have got to find that thread :laugh:.
Stockalone Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Anyone here like me who hasn't gotten laid for a looong time? It's been a couple of years for me.
mr.dream merchant Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 So, this is clearly inspired by shadowplay's thread, "How often do you need sex?" My question is this, because I never see this question asked here and I'm starting to feel like a freak. Anyone here like me who hasn't gotten laid for a looong time? After my breakup a year ago - nothing. I'm not a player or a pimp (looking at you, mr. dream merchant). Whatevs. Go ahead and mock me, but does anyone feel my pain? -k Lol, never was a pimp though!
grogster Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 A year in July. I simply throw myself into work, gaming (Fallout 3 especially) and the gym. I miss sex, but not all the noise that comes with it. It hasn't been that bad.
Thornton Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 I'm in an LDR and I get sex roughly every 3-4 months when I get a chance to see my bf. Before that I hadn't had sex for 3 years because there was nobody I felt strongly enough about to want to have sex with them, and before that was a 2.5 year drought, and before that another 2.5 year drought. Such a drought can't be helped if you don't want casual sex and are waiting for someone you actually have feelings for. Oh, and re. the women who said men masturbate because of insecurity - do women like me also masturbate because of insecurity? Or is this insecurity gender-specific?
Bejita463 Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Haha, it's so funny, women getting mad about guys jacking off! As if we have a choice. Hey, ladies, stop having your periods, it's insecurity, can't you see that?! Uh, what? Apples aren't oranges. What were you trying to say here? I don't get it. "Jacking off" IS a choice, periods aren't optional without medical or hormonal intervention. Anyway, I'd say my longest stretch since I've become active myself would have been between 1 and 2 years. I don't time it. I feel no pressure to have it though. I have enough going for me I could get it more often if I chose, but I prefer to have it with partners that mean something to me. That complicates things a little, and I am alright with that.
EddieN Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 A year in July. I simply throw myself into work, gaming (Fallout 3 especially) and the gym. Right on man! That is one sick game.
grogster Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Right on man! That is one sick game. Yeah, and there are some great mods, including a wonderful Nude Mod that adds some spice. But that's another Thread.
NJAries Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 I was in the same boat about 2 weeks ago. Porn and masturbating actually gets boring after a while (believe it or not MeaganRaye and JerseyShortie). This random chick from high school hit me up via FB, and a few days later my 5 month streak of celibacy ended. However I can say that I'm still not "satisfied." She really isn't the type of girl I would actually go out with, and she def wants more than what I'm giving her. It's getting to the point where she's being totally annoying and I'm being totally distant. It probably also has a lot to do with my ex still constantly being on my mind even after 5 months NC. In the end, I'm in a sticky situation where someone's feelings are gonna get hurt (not mine) and I'm not so sure all of this was worth it. Although I did need the sex (I'm a horny bastard) and it did boost my confidence. So I guess it's a tradeoff. Now comes the fallout... -Aries
Die Hard Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 A year in July. I simply throw myself into work, gaming (Fallout 3 especially) and the gym. I miss sex, but not all the noise that comes with it. It hasn't been that bad. I've been on a self imposed sabbatical from sex for three months next thursday. The first few weeks sucked but its gotten easier as time goes by. I've been playing a lot of Call of Duty 4..I've got a 2.11 kill to death ratio. The game is great for releasing frustration. And copious amounts of masturbation kinda takes care of the rest. I'm attempting to become better R material by stopping my promiscuous behavior. I'm making better choices in women to date though so I've been seeing some progress. Hoping to meet a girl I want to spend quality time with. The sex will come then and hopefully shell be someone I want to continue seeing. If this doesn't work I might have to try therapy for the commitment issues I have.
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