nobody's girl Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 I've been single more often and longer than I've been with someone. I find it a natural and comfortable state to be in. I like the fact that I can come and go as I please, eat what and when I want, spend the day home alone not even showering if I don't want to, etc. Yeah, it sucks to wake up alone and to go out with friends when it's all couples, but when I hear couples discussing the minutia of their days and fighting over stupid little things, I can't help but chuckle a little bit. I think you have to be single and be comfortable with yourself and being alone before you can really be in a long term relationship with another person.
pandagirl Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 I like being single. Since I've been single most of my life, it is my comfort zone. Having be responsible for someone else, and having to schedule my time around someone. I can't leave for weeks at a time if I want to. Of course, it is nice to have a special person in your life. If i could find someone who let me have my independent streak, that would be ideal.
Kamille Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 To answer one of your question Blaken: it does sound like you were in a bad relationship. the answer is: no, not everyone will *need* to have a grip on your life the way your ex did. In my experience (and I have been in two relationships like the one you desribe), this happens when two people aren't compatible. and it felt sooooo good when those relationships ended and I finally could occupy my thought with whatever i wanted to do! So my answer is Yes, I love being single. And also, I will never put up with a "reformer" again. You love me as I am or you're out buddy!
You'reasian Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Being single is good. Being in a relationship can be great. Any questions? lol
alphamale Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 i think being single but in a good committed relationship is the best way to go for me. i'm not interested in marriage right now and probably never will be.
lora22 Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 I love being single, and I'll probably never get married, and I don't feel bad about that at all. The thought of marriage makes my chest constrict (in the panic/terror heart attack way, not the romantic skipping a beat way).
loser101 Posted June 7, 2009 Posted June 7, 2009 I think I like being single. I would love to spend time with someone I see as really special and enjoy what he contributes to me life. However, the facts that I am very independent, don't want to get married and don't want children probably take the incentive out for me to really try to make all the necessary compromises needed for a successful relationship. I used to think that I was just not meeting the right person but now I think I have to realise that I am not really trying.
Nikki Sahagin Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I never used to be a relationship person but my ex completely changed my perspective. I enjoy the freedom and the lack of pressure, but ultimately I love the companionship, the connection - he made me feel more fulfilled and as though life was more meaingful. I think I prefer the idea of life lived as a team, not independently.
Els Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Being in a new relationship feels better than being in a good relationship. Being in a good relationship is better than being single. Being single is better than being in a bad relationship. In my opinion, I think any single person who posts on a romance/dating forum regardless of how long they have posted here is simply not happy being single. I have been single for 7 years. I was HAPPILY single and never once looked at a website relating to dating and relationships. Now that I'm NOT happily single (just happened one day about 4 months ago!) I am on a dating and relationships website. Think about it These two nailed it on the head. I think that MANY (not all, but many) of the people here are saying they prefer singlehood simply because they've been in one too many BAD relationships. They probably came across this site while having relationship problems, then got acquainted with the community, got out of their bad relationship, and realize they're enjoying life now more than when they were in that bad relationship. Also, many of the reasons people give fall under two categories: 1) Reasons that would not exist if they were in a good relationship e.g. 'Being single allows me to go out with my friends and not be stuck only going out with one person everyday' , or 2) Superficial reasons that really sound more like fake enthusiasm/pep talk e.g. 'I get all the pillows, and can hog the remote if I like!' I too was happily single all the way til I had my first real love interest, which was around 17 or 18. My reasons were that I never needed to change myself to adapt to what someone else wanted me to be, because I assumed that all guys wanted their girls to dress up, act feminine, etc. Also, I was the kind of person who needed my own space and privacy -- when I went on trips where I didn't have my own room, I literally took an hour to bathe simply because it was the only time I could really be ALONE without needing to act in a socially acceptable manner, could pick my nose, daydream without being interrupted, scratch my butt, etc. Another reason was that I could see the lives of all my married relatives during family gatherings, and I hated what I saw. I hated seeing the women bouncing babies on their lap in the kitchen, spending one of their few holidays on making small talk with in-laws while relieving their nanny of the baby for a while. I vowed that when I grew up, I was going to ****ing do What I Liked, and not What I Had To, and marriage+children seemed an inevitable barrier to that. I now realize that with the right person, all these reasons are rendered null and void. I realize that being in a relationship doesn't mean I need to give up my passion and privacy, change my identity, or get married as soon as I graduate and pop children out a year later. It does take the right person rather than the wrong one though. There is a degree of 'sacrifice', things that I need to give up/compromise, but with the right person it is always small as compared to what I get out of it.
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