username8 Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 i noticed people seem to give good advice on this site. first time poster.. this may be a little long... Need advice badly. So I have been w/ my bf for 3.5 yrs (not including a 3 mnth break up in the middle). Well, I did something on the bad side today. I went to a website that he is constantly on and read what he had been posting. One particular thread was about Things that people have done that they regret or are unbelievable. Someone on the tread had said that they had 2 girlfriends at one time. My boyfriend’s reply to this thread was “did this for 2 whole years. Never again. Still with one of them”. Well, I mentioned above that me and my boyfriend had a few month breakup period. This was because I had found out he had cheated on me. We got back together bcz I genuinely believed that he was sorry and that he wouldn’t do this again. However, he had told me that him and this girl had only been together a few times, and it was because he had felt rejected by me and had alot of issues from his past. Anyways, he owned up to that and I forgave him and we have been together for a while since then(little longer than a year). After reading this post he made, I realize he was clearly w/ this girl more than a few times. The post seems to imply that we were both his girlfriend at the same time. I am really upset right now.. I realize this is the past now. Should I bring this up to him and how? Also, I am feeling really hurt, not so much about the girl than that he could look me in the face and lie to me. I just don’t know what to do with this info.. I realize I shouldn’t of been checking up on him like that anyways… :/ kinda wishing I hadn’t. But if i am reading his post correctly, that means the whole first 2 years of our realationship he had another girlfriend in addition to me... :/ damn im feeling pretty hurt right now..
playlislay Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 Girl, this *uh hum* so called man is not worth your time. 2 years? thats just under two thrids of your entire relationship!!!
LostInLimbo Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 If your still with him, and it's going to bother you, you need to confront him about it and find out the truth, assuming he will tell you the truth, because if you don't you will never have full trust in him (not sure why you do now, but I have been cheated on, so I know what your going through) I never would address it, so it effected myself and my relationship. As for you not really have shouldnt have checked p on him, think where you would have been if you didn't check, based on your feelings, you would have still been dating a person who has 2 Gfs or found it out then be typing this 3 yrs down the road... Not sure if that helps.... LiL
Author username8 Posted June 4, 2009 Author Posted June 4, 2009 thanks for the responses. Anways, I realize i have to confront him about this and i plan on it. Its just that that was over a year and a half ago.. and i am so mad because i feel like he cheated me out of my own decision.. i know if he had told me the truth back then that i wouldn't had gotton back together with him. If i had known that he had another gf for the first 2 years of our relationship.....damn.. Im so dissappointed.. things have been going so well between us..
wow123 Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 A one night mistake for whatever reason is forgivable to some. A 2 year long mistake? c'mon you need to get out!
Author username8 Posted June 4, 2009 Author Posted June 4, 2009 the thing is i knew about this girl.. i just didnt realize the extent and how long. im so sad.. im just sitting at my work desk.. trying to stay strong and not fall apart like a loser.. We live together, and im just trying to picture what to do once i get out of work.
2sure Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 Please keep in mind that when guys are talking among themselves about women.....they exagerate, they make up stuff. I dont know why, but the same types of things that would never tell or do to a woman are the same things they tell other men to impress them. Or something.
Author username8 Posted June 4, 2009 Author Posted June 4, 2009 Please keep in mind that when guys are talking among themselves about women.....they exagerate, they make up stuff. I dont know why, but the same types of things that would never tell or do to a woman are the same things they tell other men to impress them. Or something.[/quote that had crossed my mind
wow123 Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 Guys do exaggerate...very true. I guess nobody knows whether or not he was telling the truth in that forum or not. You may have to do some investigating to find out for yourself if you really need to know...I would. Or you could just assume it was a lie and hope to trust him.
Author username8 Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 my heart is beating so loadly in my chest right now i can hear it. So, i didnt bring anything up yesterday.. guess i was feeling guilty for checking up on him.. But I just typed up an email asking if he had been w/ this girl as a gf while he was with me..
Author username8 Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 im making my self sick w/ anxiety right now. i know i just sent the email like 5 minutes ago.. but im scared of what he is going to say.. Im at work and need some advice to keep my mind off of this so i can get some work done....
Author username8 Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 he just broke up w/ me over email. sayin i dont trust him.. he said that is just how they talk on the website... I had to ask, it would have bothered me.
Author username8 Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 damn.. wish i had some friends to talk to .. but i dont want to talk.. if that makes any sense.. sorry for the overloads of posting.. it kinda helps to get my feelings out.
SCooke Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 You did the right thing. You just have to know the answer to these things. And he's going to break up with you over email after a 3 yr relationship? And of course you don't trust him, he CHEATED on you. Worst of all, he's trying to put the guilt on you...I'm sure it's incerdibly hard for you right now, but this guy (judging from all I know about him from these posts) does not deserve your love. Don't contact him and go on about healing yourself. I wish you the best.
whichwayisup Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 HE broke up with you waayy too fast for my liking which means he probably has been wanting to end the relationship with you for a while or he still is seeing her. The email gave him his reason - He put it on you and blamed you and then bailed. Instead of maturely sitting down with you and having a conversation about this so you two could talk it out. Sorry you're hurting but in all honesty, you're probably better off without him.
wareagle Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 You need to go back to NC. You obviously haven't moved on, and by checking up on him you have been hurt once again by him! It's in the past nothing you or he can do about it now! Go NC again and leave this jackass alone! You deserve better!! You will never get over him if you don't let this go!!
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