Star Gazer Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Eh I was kind enough to be shown a picture of them on his bed. Huhhhhh...????
Author dreamergrl Posted June 5, 2009 Author Posted June 5, 2009 Huhhhhh...???? Yeah the last myspace email I got before he got blocked... the default picture was them on his bed.
Trialbyfire Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Eh I was kind enough to be shown a picture of them on his bed. Crude and tasteless...and is visible proof of why this guy isn't right for you. Agreed, and I don't want immaturity. I want someone who can be straight an honest with me. No games.Okay, then here's a start of your list of needs. Maturity. I've been working on trying to diffuse my emotions before reacting though.Perfect! This will help you not only in relationships (romantic/friendships), but also, at work! And if I lay it out on the table, and they get defensive or needy for me to understand and accept what it is? That was like how it was with D until this gf just magically appeared.Why not accept their reasons but then explain to them, that you also have needs, that it appears the two of you aren't compatible? This defrays escalation to an extent, in that you acknowledge what they're telling you but that you can't live like this. It removes the blame-game element and addresses the issues. Yeah, and I did try to discuss the issues, only to be old it was all on me, he did nothing wrong. And when I hear that over and over again, I wonder if I was wrong.He has his perspective, you have yours. You're both convinced it's the other person but realistically speaking, what does it matter who's fault it is? What matters is compatibility, which includes how you fight, then resolve or not.
Author dreamergrl Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 Crude and tasteless...and is visible proof of why this guy isn't right for you. I couldn't agree more. It was kind of hurtful too. Like a kick in the face. Okay, then here's a start of your list of needs. Maturity. Perfect! This will help you not only in relationships (romantic/friendships), but also, at work! Why not accept their reasons but then explain to them, that you also have needs, that it appears the two of you aren't compatible? This defrays escalation to an extent, in that you acknowledge what they're telling you but that you can't live like this. It removes the blame-game element and addresses the issues. How do you accept something that bothers you, and let them know and still be acknowledging what they are telling you? I mean like what's a good way to put it? He has his perspective, you have yours. You're both convinced it's the other person but realistically speaking, what does it matter who's fault it is? What matters is compatibility, which includes how you fight, then resolve or not. Very true. I think it leads me to another want/need. Being capable of taking responsibility for their own actions/faults.
Trialbyfire Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 How do you accept something that bothers you, and let them know and still be acknowledging what they are telling you? I mean like what's a good way to put it? You: While I understand that you can't [insert issue(s)], you also have to understand that I need [insert your need(s)]. It's okay for us to have differing wants and needs. Having said that, we appear to have some incompatibilities. If you have any reasonable suggestions, plse tell me because I'm listening. If not, it appears it's best that we part ways. I think it leads me to another want/need. Being capable of taking responsibility for their own actions/faults.Another good one for your list.
Star Gazer Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Yeah the last myspace email I got before he got blocked... the default picture was them on his bed. Wow. Talk about declasse.
Author dreamergrl Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 You: While I understand that you can't [insert issue(s)], you also have to understand that I need [insert your need(s)]. It's okay for us to have differing wants and needs. Having said that, we appear to have some incompatibilities. If you have any reasonable suggestions, plse tell me because I'm listening. If not, it appears it's best that we part ways. Another good one for your list. I like that, that really helps a lot TBF, you have no idea!
Author dreamergrl Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 Wow. Talk about declasse. It was even more fun learning how in love they are and crazy about each other they are. :sick::sick:
mr.dream merchant Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 Well hopefully on this....sabbatical.....you can move on from these people and stop letting them get you down.
Author dreamergrl Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 Well hopefully on this....sabbatical.....you can move on from these people and stop letting them get you down. I hope so too.
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