sbizzle1 Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 right, ive been seeing someone for about 6 months now, its fairly serious but were not boyfriend and girlfriend. the reason being he's a total commitment phobia as his first girlfriend slept with his friends behind his back. i know this isnt just with me as he was seeing a girl about 2 years back who he loved and was seeing her for 10 months but they werent 'official'. at the start of it he was really involved and put a lot of effort in, ringing and texting and stuff. but for the past 3 weeks things seem to have cooled down and he doesnt talk as much when were apart. for example he doesnt ring as much and when he does it sounds as if he cant be bothered to speak or as to rush off. im th one who organises everything and ive told him this really annoys me and he said he'd really try to sort it cos he doesnt wnt to lose me and is proper happy with things. but why say one thing then not act on it? im still puttin the effort in. he is really good friends with a girl and im not a jelous person but i just feel he sees her more than me nd he is the one plannin stuff when they see eachother. when im with him he's brilliant and gives me attention\flatters me. its just when were apart hes a bit distant so i have to put the effort in therefore i appear clingy and theres nothing i hate more than tht! i dunno if hes becomin more relaxed with things and doesnt feel the need to be in touch as much or if hes gettin bored. when i asked if he felt stuff were gettin into routine he said 'not really no'. surely he'd say given the opportunityy if he was? x
Soul Bear Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 Step back a bit and see what happens. Tis the old push and pull? What happens if you dont contact him at all and you wait for him to contact you? The distance is a little concerning, also the fact he wont be official with you af5ter all this time.... Inevitably, at some point in a relationship, one person is going to like the other one more.
lora22 Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 when i asked if he felt stuff were gettin into routine he said 'not really no'. surely he'd say given the opportunityy if he was? I don't know about the rest of it, but this part right here? The answer is no. IME guys (and girls) lie, b/c it's the easiest thing to do. That doesn't mean he has to be lying to you. I'm just saying, it doesn't mean he's telling you the truth either. Honestly, if he could bother to put effort in with another girl, but not me, I would either say "see ya" or just stop contacting him and see if he came after me at all. If he didn't, that would be that.
Sillybunny Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 Rather than assume the worst....Sometimes guys just need a little cool off time. It can come and go. So long as you don't push him he'll miss you and come back to you. Obviously if he's out hanging around with other girls that doesn't come under the title of 'man time'. The whole unofficial thing though...is a little worrying. By unofficial does that mean you are not exclusive? Is this something you are comfortable with?
kit_kat Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 All I can say is.... give him time and give him space to think... Well, you will probably get tired of putting the effort between you two.. And lets put it this way, you can't be easily taken for granted when he has nobody else...
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