lsb Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Okay. I am gonna try and make this short. I met a guy at a bar and he told me he had a girlfriend but we hooked up anyway. Then, we met again I thought just as friends, but we hooked up again. But he tells me nothing will develop between us yet he is okay with friends w/benefits type thing. The thing is I really like this guy and he basically told me he really likes me. But like I said he has a girlfriend and he is not planning to dump her. Now, I dunno what to do? I actually like him and want to be with him, but....I dunno if that is really such a good idea. He is completely okay with it though.
Girlygal Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 He sounds like a lifer. A guy who will cheat the rest of his life. If he doesnt care that he is hurting his GF by doing this then RUN AWAY!
lora22 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Okay. I am gonna try and make this short. I met a guy at a bar and he told me he had a girlfriend but we hooked up anyway. Then, we met again I thought just as friends, but we hooked up again. But he tells me nothing will develop between us yet he is okay with friends w/benefits type thing. The thing is I really like this guy and he basically told me he really likes me. But like I said he has a girlfriend and he is not planning to dump her. Now, I dunno what to do? I actually like him and want to be with him, but....I dunno if that is really such a good idea. He is completely okay with it though. What you should do is, stop talking to him and stop hooking up with him. You hooked up with him knowing that he had a gf, what does that tell you about him? He does not want to be with you, he wants you to be his girl on the side - that is what he has told you verbally and by his actions. Also, how would you feel if you were the gf and not the girl on the side? Just my $.02.
stace79 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 You are just as bad as he is by hooking up knowing that he had a girlfriend. How would you like it if your future bf told a girl that you were his girlfriend, but she still agreed to sleep with him, completely disregarding your feelings? You need to stop having any contact with this guy at all, and then I would suggest some serious soul searching for yourself to learn why you would 1) allow yourself to be used sexually and 2) disregard the fact that it is NOT OKAY to sleep with another woman's man!
Author lsb Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 We never slept together and I wasn't planning to. We just kissed and messed around a little.
stace79 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 We never slept together and I wasn't planning to. We just kissed and messed around a little. Well you should definitely not do that anymore! You don't want a guy who only values you as a sex object do you? You, and every woman actually, deserves someone who will love and cherish her for ALL of her... not just the physical parts.
lora22 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 We never slept together and I wasn't planning to. We just kissed and messed around a little. Sorry, but that doesn't change anything that anyone wrote All judgment aside: 1. Why would you want to get involved with a guy that was cheating on his gf and lying to her? What makes you think he would treat you an differently in the off chance he ended up dumping her and dating you? 2. He told you that he has a gf, he told you that he's not going to break up with her, therefore, by default, he is not planning on being your bf. So, even if we forget about the poor gf's feelings in all this, you're only setting yourself up for heartbreak by getting involved with him. He TOLD you that nothing more serious is going to happen between you two.
norajane Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 The thing is I really like this guy and he basically told me he really likes me. But like I said he has a girlfriend and he is not planning to dump her. No, he doesn't "really like you". What he likes is hooking up with you. He doesn't even KNOW you, much less like you. And considering that he told you he had a gf and you hooked up with him anyway, he probably doesn't have any respect for you. We already know he doesn't respect his gf and is happy to cheat on her, so him "liking" somebody is hardly a prize worth having. Any way you look at it, you lose, and his gf loses. The only one who wins is him - he gets to have his gf and two women to have sex with and feed his ego.
SueBee3490 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I could be the poor gf you describe in your story. My bf went out on me and even told the woman he had a gf - I think she also had a bf. It didn't seem to matter to either one of them so they slept together (and more than once). I don't know if her bf ever found out but i do know they split up. I heard she'd moved in with another guy but he kicked her out (wonder if it was because she was cheating on him?)! Also...since he has told you he wants to stay with his gf, why would you want him? As others have asked, why do you want a cheater? He is no prize as norajane said. If he did break up with his gf and you two decided to get into a relationship, you will always be checking on him because you know what he is capable of. That's no way to live. You should run from this guy and don't be a partner in his continued betrayal to his gf. I really don't see the appeal of someone who cheats and deceives
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 So, what do you want out of this relationship exactly? Think about what your goals are for you and him, whether they are realistic and whether you can live and be happy with the limited nature of what you are getting yourself into. If you find that you want more than he is offering, you would be best off not doing this. All you will be doing is treating yourself to a crumb when you are starving for a buffet.
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