N8Love80 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Ok guys and gals, I really need your help on this one. First off, i have been single for 5 years and have been totally ok with that. I wised up long ago and can usually tell after the first date if i want to pursue any further, and I usually don't. Well, I met a girl through some friends and she actually pursued me, asking my friends about me behind my back and eventually she puts her number in my phone. We don't go out for very long but things go GREAT. She actually makes me go wow, and she does the same. The only problem is, at some point during a date, its almost as if she tries to talk me out of liking her. Her friends tell me that as soon as she really starts to like me or care for me, she is gonna run me off. Well, she starts to get stomach pains and says she is freaking out a bit after another great night, and i take her home. She stands me up twice afterwards. I give it a few days and send a text to see how she is doing and she is really short and rude to me. So I call her out and ask her if she is still freakin out? Her answer is she is "not gonna care about anyone and just do whatever the hell she wants." so i tell her to be honest and just tell me if she is not interested and ill be gone. i get no response. i ask her the next day if she wants to give it a try or play it safe, and she snaps "it has nothing to do with playing it safe" and i just say "ok, if you say so." This brings about a "I dont know what you think I was doing here, but I tried so hard and I just cant handle the dating/talking thing, its not my style." so i tell her, "i wasnt trying to be mean, i just think she is scared from previous experiences. and i tell her that her friends told me she would do this, but im sorry for upsetting you. ill leave you be. later pretty lady" now, I've been feeling like crap for 8 days, and I can't seem to shake this. i really care for her and want to show her im not like other guys and want to help her. I keep running into her friends that ask about us and they all say she is just really afraid of being hurt again. do I just stay back? Shoot a simple text from time to time, or do I ask for lunch so I can have a talk with her. I am mr nice guy, I'd do anything for a friend, and jump a mountain for someone i care about. This girl has had a family issue in the past with her dad leaving her, her sisters and her mom when she was a kid, and has dated *******s. I think she deserves better. Tell me what to do. I'm tired of losing sleep. Sorry so long. thanks for any advice! God Bless.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I'm over trying to help/fix people that I want to date. You realize that it isn't worth the effort. If she wants to be fixed, she'll go do it herself. IMO, I'd rather date somebody that's emotionally available and doesn't have to be coaxed into a relationship.
JustLooking123 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Her behavior was rude. More importantly, she sounds like she has big issues that need to be worked out (by HER). Don't get sucked into her drama. Move on.
lora22 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Gonna have to agree with SoulSearch and JustLooking on this one. Been there, done that, and I learned my lesson the first time I got involved with someone like that - now I avoid the emotional rollercoaster, the games, the drama, and just generally the emotional drain that comes along with the hurt/scared/wounded victim. She's not going to change unless she realizes she has a problem and gets help, and works on it.
Peter_pan Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I'm over trying to help/fix people that I want to date. You realize that it isn't worth the effort. If she wants to be fixed, she'll go do it herself. IMO, I'd rather date somebody that's emotionally available and doesn't have to be coaxed into a relationship. amen to that. its just not worth it
Recommended Posts