Confused4Now Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I've been trying to decide whether or not to post for sometime just cause there are so many bitter people in this group. I get tired of the you got what you deserved and we told you all along. Whatever...well I'm officially done with my situation. I ended it cause I saw no end in sight...all I heard was excuses and pushed out deadlines.....as most of you remember I was very big on being in her life by the holidays and that didn't happen. I had a D-day and I thought things would progress and things didn't in fact I think it made things worse. She kept throwing that in my face since it happened. Funny how I believed that she was going to come to me....but I've decided I will no longer lie anymore or settle for bits and pieces. I told her that...she says I'm impatient.... I tell her it's been 3 1/2 years how long do we need? What I've accepted is that she's passive in everything she does when it comes to this type of situation. She rather do nothing and let everyone around her make that decision for her rather than taking action. I thought it was me who didn't take action. but here I am out of my marriage now 14 months and my divorce is almost final. She has yet to file....or keep him completely out. So I found one of OldEurope's posting on NC. I'm sticking to my guns finally on this one. I will be around from time to time...and give you updates to where I'm at in my life. oh btw...the whole limited contact thing doesn't work. I've tried it and my problem was I couldn't chat with without constantly getting status from her. It just didn't work. So I rather not have her in my life so I don't have to ask.....cause she wasn't going to tell me or do anything. Be strong you all....
delirious Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 What do you mean the whole limited contact. I don't understand. Some people can't quite make that jump. They can see the field at the other side of the bridge, they can see how green it is, but the thought of jumping over that river, really scares them, so they carry on as they are, never quite being happy, but never able to make that leap. Just like people stuck in dead end jobs. They hate it, but don't have the courage. Only some of us do, and I am with you on that.
Lucky_One Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 (((((Confused))))) Ending any relationship is painful; i wish you the best.
Author Confused4Now Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 (((((Confused))))) Ending any relationship is painful; i wish you the best. I guess I should say ConfusedNoMore....to bad I can't rename my ID...Oh thank you for the best wishes.
Lyssa Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Glad you made a decision, Confused. Yeah it'd be nice if you could change your ID. Hang in there! [[[[[[Confused]]]]]]
Die Hard Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Yeah good luck man! Its not easy but nothing worth doing ever is. The mw you were seeing sounds just like the one I was seeing, btw. Just take it a day at a time and you'll get there.
tami-chan Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 I guess I should say ConfusedNoMore....to bad I can't rename my ID...Oh thank you for the best wishes. Good for you, C4now! I am always relieved to know there is resolution in a once confusing life. Thank you for that, C4now! and good wishes for you. Why don't you put a tag line on your profile that says "ConfusedNoMore"?
Author Confused4Now Posted June 19, 2009 Author Posted June 19, 2009 My divorce papers have been filed in the court system. I'm pretty much a free man. I'm also hurting very bad missing my MW...day 22 now of NC. A friend came up to me who knows her and found out she's taking a LOA from work till August 3rd. Who knows whats that about...I really don't want to speculate cause when I do my mind goes crazy. Last thing she told me was she needs to work this out herself and she see's us together this year. Who knows who cares.....I don't believe anything anymore. Good thing is I got a couple of good hits on Match.com today and got numbers and emails. I plan on making new friends and network the crap out of single people. There's got to be one out there for me in the right way. Well that is my update .....
Author Confused4Now Posted June 30, 2009 Author Posted June 30, 2009 My divorce papers have been filed in the court system. I'm pretty much a free man. I'm also hurting very bad missing my MW...day 22 now of NC. A friend came up to me who knows her and found out she's taking a LOA from work till August 3rd. Who knows whats that about...I really don't want to speculate cause when I do my mind goes crazy. Last thing she told me was she needs to work this out herself and she see's us together this year. Who knows who cares.....I don't believe anything anymore. Good thing is I got a couple of good hits on Match.com today and got numbers and emails. I plan on making new friends and network the crap out of single people. There's got to be one out there for me in the right way. Well that is my update .....Divorce went final June 24. I want to thank everyone who's been very helpful through the addicting times. I've been through therapy and he says I'm on the heading in the right direction. I have been dating and working on me. Things are getting much easier everyday and not so much an obsession. I know where I was at was not healthy back then and my only regret is that I didn't go NC sooner like right after I knocked on her door. I pray for her and everyone in my life who had to endure through this mess....the one thing i don't miss is all the drama....man i hated it. I will always have a special place in my heart for her but I'm so happy to be away from it all. I've met some nice people and will continue to improve on myself so I can be ready for the next person. I'm taking my time to heal from it all. I'm back in the Gym everyday and spending my time with my kids. LIFE IS GOOD!!! Thanks to all and I pray for all of you who are in the thick of things...it's not fun.
MistyK Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 Funny how I believed that she was going to come to me....but I've decided I will no longer lie anymore or settle for bits and pieces. I told her that...she says I'm impatient.... I tell her it's been 3 1/2 years how long do we need? What I've accepted is that she's passive in everything she does when it comes to this type of situation. She rather do nothing and let everyone around her make that decision for her rather than taking action. Yes, sounds exactly like my MM too. I could never be patient or understanding enough. And he let it up to the BW file and make all the decisions because he didn't want to feel responsible. I'm glad to hear you are doing well. It gives me hope that I can make the leap too.
fooled once Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 I've been trying to decide whether or not to post for sometime just cause there are so many bitter people in this group. I get tired of the you got what you deserved and we told you all along. Whatever...well I'm officially done with my situation. I ended it cause I saw no end in sight...all I heard was excuses and pushed out deadlines.....as most of you remember I was very big on being in her life by the holidays and that didn't happen. I had a D-day and I thought things would progress and things didn't in fact I think it made things worse. She kept throwing that in my face since it happened. Funny how I believed that she was going to come to me....but I've decided I will no longer lie anymore or settle for bits and pieces. I told her that...she says I'm impatient.... I tell her it's been 3 1/2 years how long do we need? What I've accepted is that she's passive in everything she does when it comes to this type of situation. She rather do nothing and let everyone around her make that decision for her rather than taking action. I thought it was me who didn't take action. but here I am out of my marriage now 14 months and my divorce is almost final. She has yet to file....or keep him completely out. So I found one of OldEurope's posting on NC. I'm sticking to my guns finally on this one. I will be around from time to time...and give you updates to where I'm at in my life. oh btw...the whole limited contact thing doesn't work. I've tried it and my problem was I couldn't chat with without constantly getting status from her. It just didn't work. So I rather not have her in my life so I don't have to ask.....cause she wasn't going to tell me or do anything. Be strong you all.... That is quite a generalization. How about instead of coming out swinging, you just post an update? Your first sentences are all about everyone being bitter....maybe they have just been there, done that, have the T shirt? Good luck to you.
Lyssa Posted June 30, 2009 Posted June 30, 2009 Geez. That was his OP - over and done with. C4N, a new life has begun. I wish you all the best.
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