mortensorchid Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Here is a general question I have for everyone on the forum as it relates to some recent events. Several weeks ago, I met this guy on line. We had chatted a few times on the phone, then agreed to meet. We would get together a grand total of two times, one weekend after another. Then, I never heard from him again. I am not in any way disappointed. He proved himself to be one of the more boring people I'd encountered in a while. I mean really, no innovation, nothing interesting about him, no nothing. I asked what he did for fun, he said he got together with a few buddies once a month and played poker with them. End of story. I returned a call he left on my voice mail, telling him hope he was doing well and I was gearing up for finals the next week so I would be very busy. Never heard from him again. So here's my question : After how many encounters does it take for one person to feel they should have a chat with the other, saying "Hey, you're alright, but I just don't feel IT and I don't think we should see each other anymore"? I mean, it is a simple courtesy to give someone, isn't it? In case the other is waiting by the phone for them. And just for the record, there was no sex involved in any of these two encounters ever.
lora22 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I think it depends on the situation. Take your particular situation: he probably picked up on the fact that you weren't really interested, and maybe he wasn't that interested - so for him to contact you just to say "I don't see this going anywhere" kind of makes him look like a tool. I mean, you also didn't contact him to say "Sorry, but I'm not really into you." As a rule of thumb, I probably wouldn't have that conversation with someone unless he contacted me again to ask me out.
start-fresh Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 In the past I've been concerned with being totally upfront with somebody and thought just disappearing was rude but now I kind of play it by ear. After a couple meetings and when consistent contact hasn't really been established, rejecting someone is kind of pompous. No sense in having an awkward conversation when you don't even know if the other person is interested either. I would never drop off the map for someone I've been seeing often though. I agree with lora. In this case he probably read between the lines and realized that you being busy meant you weren't really into him.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I'm not sure I could nail it down to a NUMBER. It's more like a feeling, I suppose. But these days, it seems to be the norm to just drop off the face of the planet. I hate that crap. I just don't do that to someone.
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