TheBigCow Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Okay so I found recently that my X is going to Europe with her new guy in a couple of weeks. I want to go to her place and ask her to go with me instead. I've been NC for 6 weeks, nearly 7 now. Just tell me how stupid this is please.
wow123 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Don't do it. Are you ready to handle the rejection? I doubt it.
Author TheBigCow Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 No I am not. I don't feel like I'm ready to handle the lack of action either though.
Meaplus3 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 NO! Stick with NC. Six weeks is great progress.. keep up the good work. Mea:)
wow123 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 You should do what you want. But understand the consequences and be ready to deal with them before doing so. Weigh the risk reward.
Jdw_Icequeen Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Don't be crazy! If she is going with another guy. I am sure you know the answer. 6 weeks is really good. Don't throw everything out the window, your progress and your dignity!
Author TheBigCow Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 Yeahhhhh I know your right, all of you. I wish I could hate her... or even just dislike her. She's an amazing girl and I even kind of respect her for leaving me, if she wasn't happy then it was the right thing to do. Whenever I think of doing anything, I weigh up how that will look to her if she hears about it, for instance what to do about my university stuff. I know this is silly and I don't know how to change this. I know 'do what you want' but I honestly have only one desire at the moment :S
kostoronto Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 n00b question: what's NC? Not-committed? @ the OP - I don't think that's a good idea. It's best that you let her move on.
kostoronto Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Oh, then I'm...1 hour NC haha I have a long way to go...
Author TheBigCow Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 I have friends who went through breakups and never really did a NC thing, they just eventually ended up as friends. So its not the be all and end all, but its helps people who are struggling with their breakups.
kostoronto Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Nah, I'm going to have to go NC unless she smartens up. If she doesn't email me by tomorrow, I'm going NC. That means I'll be here a lot longer!
lonelygurl Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Okay so I found recently that my X is going to Europe with her new guy in a couple of weeks. I want to go to her place and ask her to go with me instead. I've been NC for 6 weeks, nearly 7 now. Just tell me how stupid this is please. I understand how hard it is to not want to give into those urges that come when we are so overwhelmed with grief. Don't do it!!!! Ride it out and let it pass. I understand your pain! Somedays the grief and missing my X I want to call him and tell him how much I still miss and love him, but I can't. They have chosen to be with someone else and we have to try and respect that. Post on here, or go shopping, a drive or do something that will help occupy your mind for a bit. The urges will come and go but contacting her will only end up with you in more pain.
Author TheBigCow Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 How about just sending her an email saying I love her.... Um just kidding.. They have chosen to be with someone else and we have to try and respect that. This is something I feel quite bad about. When before NC I was pretty much begging, I did feel really awful about the fact that I wasn't giving her choice respect.. Its what slowed me down a lot. This is a bad idea. You've certainly got a way with words No thats exactly what I need to hear
lonelygurl Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 This is something I feel quite bad about. When before NC I was pretty much begging, I did feel really awful about the fact that I wasn't giving her choice respect.. Its what slowed me down a lot. Many of us have done the same thing. When we first find out we try to keep the relationship alive, stay together. It is very hard when someone you love leaves.
Author TheBigCow Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 Its funny how terribly someone can act when they're in this state of mind. I didn't find LS until quite far in so I'd already done a lot of damage with very little feedback. To be fair, she was pretty indirect with me... she didn't leave the house for 3 weeks and then only let on that things were serious with the other guy about 1.5 months in.
fabulous_chk Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Go on vacation with a friend. She needs time away from you. Give her this. Let her realize what she had lost.
Author TheBigCow Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 I don't think she will miss me... she's obviously pretty serious with this other guy already. Don't worry though, I won't do it. I've realized how selfish it would be, if she's happy then who am I to put a sour twist on her trip.
notalone Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I don't think she will miss me... she's obviously pretty serious with this other guy already. Don't worry about all that...don't worry about her or her new guy or her fantatstic life..whatever. Sod it all. Focus on yourself. Think me me me. You did put her before yourself for a long time. It did not work. Be selfish for a change. Post breakup, being a selfish arse is a virtue.
Author TheBigCow Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 Don't worry about all that...don't worry about her or her new guy or her fantatstic life..whatever. Sod it all. Focus on yourself. Think me me me. You did put her before yourself for a long time. It did not work. Be selfish for a change. Post breakup, being a selfish arse is a virtue. I appreciate this line of thought and understand the point of it but If I'm being selfish, then all I really want is her so I should make any effort to fight for her? It's okay.. my reasoning goes like this. If I love her, then I want her to be happy and she is, if I don't love her then I don't deserve to be with her.
kizik Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 You've certainly got a way with words Nah, I was just trying to be funny. TBC, once these emotions have died down a little bit, your instincts to jump and call her and convince her of things will go away. Instead of wanting to be with her, you'll hopefully kind of hate her and realize what a waste of time she is/was. Good luck.
Author TheBigCow Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 Thanks for your input kizik but I have been through the hating stage (albeit short lived) and come out the other side realizing that she is not a waste of time. She was wonderful and I honestly don't know anyone anything like her. She fell in love with someone else, so she did what she had to do.
Soul Bear Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 This IS stupid...and you know it.... But if you do decide to do it, PLEASE can you video the whole meeting and response and post it on 'youboob' cos that is what you would look like if you did...a complete tit... You and I both know you arent one, so dont do it!!! ALSO- GET TO THE DATING FORUM INSTEAD!!! Its a hoot!
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