Cora Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I don't understand why you guys are always so hard on paper? Does being harsh really help?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 Me too, particularly because this "date" (or "not date," depending on the day) went from planning to have sushi at his place while watching to Bocelli, to meeting him at Barnes & Noble and having him ask her if he wanted to see the pool. Those who lie often can't keep their stories straight. That's because we met at barnes n nobles before we went to his apartment. I'm sorry I can't convince you otherwise. Take everything with a grain of salt then. And really why defend him? Simply because you're views are prejudiced against so you have to defend the people I wronged?
Soul Bear Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 We all started where you are, trust me. I try and be nice, even to those who dont deserve it. After about 15 more threads that are almost identical, and pages of posts that change with the winds, it gets old. Its like a friend who keeps asking you for the same advice over and over, and then doesnt take any of it, yet wants to come cry on your shoulder. Sooner or later, you've had enough. I too have had my fair share of dragging out my thread in the coping forum 'noooo! dont go!!! please, someone keep talking to me, tell me exactly what she is thinking, read my future!'
kizik Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 We all started where you are, trust me. I try and be nice, even to those who dont deserve it. After about 15 more threads that are almost identical, and pages of posts that change with the winds, it gets old. Its like a friend who keeps asking you for the same advice over and over, and then doesnt take any of it, yet wants to come cry on your shoulder. Sooner or later, you've had enough. Seriously, the part that bothers me the most is that shes dishonest, both with us and herself. I honestly have a hard time believing this V guy even exists, and Im a very trusting person. THATS how bad its gotten. You know that when even BCCA, one of our smartest, most helpful posters, has lost faith in you - your story has more holes than a sinking ship of whores.
filh Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I feel sorry for you, papercut. what did you do to these people on LS?
filh Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Its like a friend who keeps asking you for the same advice over and over, and then doesnt take any of it, yet wants to come cry on your shoulder. Sooner or later, you've had enough. sorry, this is off-topic. then you're not a genuine friend, are you?
carhill Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 There's an individual boundary between being a supportive friend and being an emotional tampon. Doesn't matter if same or cross gender. We each decide that for ourselves. When it gets unbalanced and unhealthy, it's reasonable to call the friendship into question. Friendships are two-way streets. I see LS a bit differently. Few of us here have hugged in person. Crying on shoulders should seemingly be more tolerated as there is a lesser emotional investment and relationship history. I really don't care if the OP is making this all up for a psych class. If the discourse helps a reader out there, it was worth it.
filh Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 There's an individual boundary between being a supportive friend and being an emotional tampon. Doesn't matter if same or cross gender. We each decide that for ourselves. When it gets unbalanced and unhealthy, it's reasonable to call the friendship into question. Friendships are two-way streets. I see LS a bit differently. Few of us here have hugged in person. Crying on shoulders should seemingly be more tolerated as there is a lesser emotional investment and relationship history. I really don't care if the OP is making this all up for a psych class. If the discourse helps a reader out there, it was worth it. thanks for your insight! but personally, genuine friendship is something that doesn't need anything in return. I don't know, that's just me...
Cora Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I still just don't get why you guys say such horrible things about paper? Even if she doesn't listen to a lot of the wonderful advice given, is that any reason to criticize her even more? If you are fed up with her then why even comment? Why not just pass right on by her thread? Aren't you guys just fueling the fire by commenting in such a way? Or do you just get a thrill out of doing so? I get if you are truly wanting to help but if not why even comment? Just my opinion...
Author xpaperxcutx Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 I feel sorry for you, papercut. what did you do to these people on LS? I have no idea. When I post in defense of myself I merely get discredited for writing false stories and accused of not taking responsibility for my actions. Didn't I say I regret having gone to this guy's apartment and that I made the right move of actually getting out of his place? Then people accuse me of being promiscuous and a whore when I only slept with one guy. One. I get accused of being a psycho, a pathological liar... etc. wow, and I'm barely 20.
Jilly Bean Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I get accused of being a psycho, a pathological liar... etc. wow, and I'm barely 20. Well, then I can't wait to see your shenanigans at 30, girl! I think I was only psycho at 20. The pathological liar and slutiness didn't come 'til much later, so you're ahead of the curve. lol JK - trying to add a little levity to a thread that has been seriously derailed with a lot of venom. Now I get your rant. *hugs*.
OpenBook Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 genuine friendship is something that doesn't need anything in return. I'm with you, filh. If I played a "Tit For Tat" game with my GF's we'd have stopped speaking to each other a lo-o-o-ng time ago. That is NOT what genuine friendship is all about. If you are fed up with her then why even comment? Why not just pass right on by her thread? Aren't you guys just fueling the fire by commenting in such a way? Or do you just get a thrill out of doing so? Cora I think you may have hit on something. The level of vitriol against papercut is TOTALLY out of line with the subject she posted about. It's painful to watch. JK - trying to add a little levity to a thread that has been seriously derailed with a lot of venom. Now I get your rant. *hugs*. Count me in with Jilly. [[Hugs]] to papercut; sorry you got beat up so bad here.
carhill Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 but personally, genuine friendship is something that doesn't need anything in return. I don't know, that's just me... Yes, I thought a lot like this when younger, as well as during my marriage. I'm a bit wiser now. Adult love and friendship is conditional. It's not an accounting, as in a business, but there is a mutual flow of interdependence and support that, if absent on one side, is noticed. The boundary for such notice is individual. Sacrificing oneself at the altar of another may sound noble, but all it does is suck the life and love out of one. BTDT, don't want to re-live it. I do wish you well on whatever path you choose
Mary3 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 No, I'm not mocking him for being interested in me, that's not my intention. We only went on one date, and after that, we didn't have any further contact. That was about three weeks ago I think. So why would he all of a sudden decide to text me again out of the blue and wanting to meet me? That's the point I was getting at. If someone was interested, he would pursue right? But we haven't talked at all, so why would he just start messaging me? That why I think he's a creep. Simply because he messages me out of the blue with a smiley face and says he wants to see me again. I'll stop right here at thread # 33 and say if a guy is calling you 3 weeks later its usually a booty call. If he really likes you he would call you daily and would not leave you alone...hope that helps...
dreamergrl Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 What's wrong with that? She's like a female bachelor. A bachelorette if you will haha. Some people just want to go out and have fun and met new people. Treating dating as being fun not so super serious. Other people think in terms of - how is this going to lead to a serious relationship and ultimately marriage with every date. Also, it seems like this type of thinking is extremely intolerant of any other dating. But I won't name any names. So really I find it extremely difficult for Paper to listen to some posters advice considering their main objectives seem completely different. The problem is one day it's a date, the next day she thought they were just hanging out. She clearly doesn't like these guys and only is using them for what she can get out of it. She leads them on, then complains that they are calling her.
Chocolat Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I'm with you, filh. If I played a "Tit For Tat" game with my GF's we'd have stopped speaking to each other a lo-o-o-ng time ago. That is NOT what genuine friendship is all about. Cora I think you may have hit on something. The level of vitriol against papercut is TOTALLY out of line with the subject she posted about. It's painful to watch. Count me in with Jilly. [[Hugs]] to papercut; sorry you got beat up so bad here. Amen. I'm new(ish) here but I'm appalled at the treatment PC is getting, particularly from some posters whose back-stories read much, much, worse. Whatever happened to: if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all? Or, in this context, if you don't have something constructive to say...
bean1 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Papercut, I'm sure you aren't seeing it (and hindsight is everything), but you are being disrespectful to people as well. Men generally don't care to hang out with women on a "hanging out" level, that's what their male friends are for. You need to be clear with men that you aren't interested in them romantically (ignoring them does not count) and stop pretending that these men are psychic and know what you think. You ARE leading people on. Start treating them like this and you will find that YOUR problems (and what you perceive to be disrespect) will suddenly stop. You are simply being treated the same way you treat others and until you recognize that, your endless wheel will keep spinning.
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