MissMissie Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Hello everyone, I have been taking a class for the past four months and I slowly became fond of my male professor. I'm black, he's white. He's about 15 years older than me, short, bald, nerdy type, but I don't care, I still find him very attractive. I'd notice in class how he would stare at me. I'm no longer his student as of today and I feel like I have more freedom to express my feelings to him. I was wondering if I should proceed and tell him how I feel, or just leave it alone. Thank you so much for listening. Sincerely, Miss Missie:love:
Els Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 While I'm all for workplace romances and stuff... I REALLY don't think it's a good idea. He would most likely lose his job if they found him having a relationship with a student -- that's a whole different ballgame from just having a relationship with another member of the staff. And considering the long climb it takes to become professor of a university... I'm betting he'd 99% turn you down. Do you even know whether or not he's married?! :S
kostoronto Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Elsyth, I'd post one more time. 666 is an unlucky number.
GorillaTheater Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 While I'm all for workplace romances and stuff... I REALLY don't think it's a good idea. He would most likely lose his job if they found him having a relationship with a student -- that's a whole different ballgame from just having a relationship with another member of the staff. And considering the long climb it takes to become professor of a university... I'm betting he'd 99% turn you down. Do you even know whether or not he's married?! :S I agree with the "married" part, but I'm not sure it would put his job in jeopardy, particularly if the OP was no longer his student. Most universities (based on my acecdotal knowledge working for one) don't have non-fraternalization policies.
lora22 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I wouldn't tell him how I felt, since he just "stared" at you in class....that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Even if that meant he thought you were attractive, that doesn't mean he would want to pursue anything. Nothing wrong with hitting up his office hours or something like that though.
Author MissMissie Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 While I'm all for workplace romances and stuff... I REALLY don't think it's a good idea. He would most likely lose his job if they found him having a relationship with a student -- that's a whole different ballgame from just having a relationship with another member of the staff. And considering the long climb it takes to become professor of a university... I'm betting he'd 99% turn you down. Do you even know whether or not he's married?! :S Thanks for the comment. Yes, he's single and as I said before, I'm no longer his student.
Author MissMissie Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 I agree with the "married" part, but I'm not sure it would put his job in jeopardy, particularly if the OP was no longer his student. Most universities (based on my acecdotal knowledge working for one) don't have non-fraternalization policies. Thank you. I appreciate your knowledge on this policy.
Author MissMissie Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 I wouldn't tell him how I felt, since he just "stared" at you in class....that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Even if that meant he thought you were attractive, that doesn't mean he would want to pursue anything. Nothing wrong with hitting up his office hours or something like that though. Thank you for your response, that's cute.
Jilly Bean Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I saw go for it! I had affairs with two professors while undergrad. One while we were overseas (he was never my teacher, mind you, only on the trip as an advisor), and the other yeah, I was in his class at the time. But I think having an affair with a professor is a great right of passage for a young woman. So 1960's.
Author MissMissie Posted June 4, 2009 Author Posted June 4, 2009 I saw go for it! I had affairs with two professors while undergrad. One while we were overseas (he was never my teacher, mind you, only on the trip as an advisor), and the other yeah, I was in his class at the time. But I think having an affair with a professor is a great right of passage for a young woman. So 1960's. Thank you, my point exactly
stace79 Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 Thanks for the comment. Yes, he's single and as I said before, I'm no longer his student. Be very VERY careful... sometimes it doesn't matter if you are currently "his" student or not. Sometimes if you are just ANY student at the university, you can get a professor into deep trouble. Also, if you start seeing him after just finishing his class, it will give the appearance of impropriety. Like "oh, they were screwing around WHILE she was his student, and they only now made it public b/c she finished his class." Trust me, people will talk and people will think that. I used to work at a college. It is really a bad idea. Find someone your own age and in your own group of peers.
Soul Bear Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 Do be careful...he can always flunk you if you dont give him what he needs
tigressA Posted June 4, 2009 Posted June 4, 2009 You should find a way to check out your school's fraternization policies before deciding to make any move. If there's nothing that says you can't, then go for it, but if he could get into trouble, then get over it. At least he's single...but if something does happen, be prepared for people to gossip. Stace79 is right-on about that. I have a friend my age (22) who got married last year to and had a baby with her theater prof. who's twice her age; it was a very whirlwind romance and they're blissful together. Of course that's quite fairy-tale like and hardly ever happens, but hey, who knows?
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