Cosmo Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 There is this girl i bumped in last time i went out, this is what happened: She was in a bar with a guy(X) and some of her friends, when she saw me she called me by my name very loud like she was really happy to see me, then she hugged me and pressed me firmly against her (to the point i felt he breasts) then we chatted like 15 seconds as she was playing pool with her friends and X, she was visibly trashed by alcohol. X was really near her, he hugged her everytime she put a ball in the hole, at that time i didn't know if he was her boyfriend or not.... Meantime i was chatting with some other guys i knew, then i noticed X kissing the girl. I got a little angry and felt jealousy so decided i wanted to leave and change the location with the guys. As i didn't want her to know that it affected me, i went to her to say goodbye; there she hugged me again and said in my ears "i'm so happy to see you again". I just smiled and left... This is my question to you: This girl seems to like me but accepts that another dude kiss her ? First i thought the guy managed to get her completely trashed (i saw lots of beers) and secondly i know that he was a little forcing the kiss as he held her face with his hand to kiss her. I know i should have talked with her more but they were playing and i thought i had enough time.... Can a girl be unresponsive like her when some guy kiss her ? A friend said girls can get some kind of paralyzed when someone they don't really want kiss her, as they don't want to hurt his feelings or make a big scene in front of her friends... what do you think people ? I'm a bit confused as i would like to see that girl again but at the same time i'm disgusted about what she did in front of me.
Habeas Corpse Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 What the hell? It's possible to be happy to see someone of the opposite sex AND have a significant other as well. WTF??? Mods close thread.
paddington bear Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 She wants to get back with her ex. She was trying to make him jealous by flirting with you and it worked, he kept hugging her and pulling her close all night because he sensed that you were competition. That's how your story appears to me anyway.
lora22 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 This girl seems to like me but accepts that another dude kiss her ? Not trying to be rude, but I don't get why you think she seems to like you as anything other than a friend? Do you know for sure that guy isn't her bf? First i thought the guy managed to get her completely trashed (i saw lots of beers) That doesn't mean he was being shady and trying to get her drunk...for all you know she was already wasted when he got there. secondly i know that he was a little forcing the kiss as he held her face with his hand to kiss her. I love when guys hold my face when they kiss me. Could that illustrate that he was indeed forcing it? Sure, but on the other hand, maybe not. a girl be unresponsive like her when some guy kiss her ? Not sure why you think she was unresponsive when he kissed her? Although sure, someone can be unresponsive when someone kisses her. friend said girls can get some kind of paralyzed when someone they don't really want kiss her, as they don't want to hurt his feelings or make a big scene in front of her friends... what do you think people ? I think that's just stupid. If I don't want a guy kissing me, you better believe I wouldn't put myself in a position where he would think that was the appropriate thing to do. If he's really drunk and/or incredibly stupid and just goes for anyways, I most definitely would not let some guy violate me like that to avoid making a scene - he already made a scene by forcing himself on me. P.S., getting a guy to back off doesn't need to "create a scene" if you're not a drama queen or an attention whore. a bit confused as i would like to see that girl again but at the same time i'm disgusted about what she did in front of me. Is there a backstory here? Because I really don't get where you're coming from at all.
prettybaby Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 So basically: - you're a friend of hers - ... hence her being happy to see you - she was tipsy at best, drunk at worst - she and her ex were kissing and hugging - you think she likes you Don't you think the last point sticks out like a sore thumb?
Author Cosmo Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 Waiiiiit a second, no quick conclusion. i don't know the guy, i choosed the lettre X as in math you use it for the unknown actually the guy is NOT her ex-boyfriend, a friend told me (reliable source). Let's change X to Z (X=Z), so no one gets confused. Also, Z met her 1 time before that evening, that's when they met each other for the 1st time. lora you got right on some points but: Not sure why you think she was unresponsive when he kissed her? Although sure, someone can be unresponsive when someone kisses her. Her arms where at the level of the pockets and not on his tight or his shoulders or his head or somewhere else on his BODY, and the other thing is she NEVER initiated anything. Z was the one initiating the kissing and the hugging, isn't that strange ? I think that's just stupid. If I don't want a guy kissing me, you better believe I wouldn't put myself in a position where he would think that was the appropriate thing to do. If he's really drunk and/or incredibly stupid and just goes for anyways, I most definitely would not let some guy violate me like that to avoid making a scene - he already made a scene by forcing himself on me. P.S., getting a guy to back off doesn't need to "create a scene" if you're not a drama queen or an attention whore. I understand that, now let's say you just broke up with your boyfriend (who dumped you for another chick), wouldn't you be emotionally weak maybe Z took advantage of that because the girl broke up 2 weeks before. @paddington bear: now i think maybe she was trying to make ME jealous ?? because i felt like she wanted me (the hugging was not "normal" it was more like "i want to feel your body pressed against mine") but could not ditch that guy in front of her friends... so she was waiting for me to take some actions (lead her out from there and Z) ? I know that girl for 2 years, she's a friend of a friend. At the beginning she was very awkward in my presence and really "nice" to me, very flirty when we were alone but never in front of her friends, at that time she was dating her (now ex)boyfriend. I think she's the kind of girl that cares too much about what her friends think.
prettybaby Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 now i think maybe she was trying to make ME jealous ?? uhh. The chick was drunk. I don't think she was thinking that far, that's if she was even thinking at all. because i felt like she wanted me (the hugging was not "normal" it was more like "i want to feel your body pressed against mine") Again, the chick was drunk. but could not ditch that guy in front of her friends... so she was waiting for me to take some actions (lead her out from there and Z) ? That's basically your imagination, based on ... nothing concrete. Except for a drunk girl hugging you a little more than a sober person would; which makes sense since she was, well ... drunk. I mean come on. If you're so into this girl, why not just ask her out for something to drink or to eat or whatever. You seem pretty sure that she isn't dating the guy, so asking her out will answer your question. If she says yes, you know she digs you. If she says no, then she clearly doesn't. Make sure you ask her when she isn't drunk.
lora22 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Her arms where at the level of the pockets and not on his tight or his shoulders or his head or somewhere else on his BODY, and the other thing is she NEVER initiated anything. Z was the one initiating the kissing and the hugging, isn't that strange ? No, I don't find that strange at all. Besides that, as a girl I never initiate kissing and hugging with guys in public, and especially at bars the way you described it, because (for me) it's inappropriate, a lot of guys don't like PDAs, and frankly, neither do I. If a guy I'm interested is so inclined to give me a kiss or hold my hand briefly or whatever that's fine. If it's a complete makeout like you're implying, I would probably be uncomfortable. Anyways, that's all really beside the point. understand that, now let's say you just broke up with your boyfriend (who dumped you for another chick), wouldn't you be emotionally weak maybe Z took advantage of that because the girl broke up 2 weeks before. Sorry, no, I would not be emotionally weak enough to let someone I'm not interested in take advantage of me. Besides that, I would probably get mad at him, because I would be smart enough to know if he was being a shady creep; if that were the case I would NOT be letting him kiss me. I think you're just making excuses, looking for a way for her to not really be into this other guy. know that girl for 2 years, she's a friend of a friend. At the beginning she was very awkward in my presence and really "nice" to me, very flirty when we were alone but never in front of her friends, at that time she was dating her (now ex)boyfriend. I think she's the kind of girl that cares too much about what her friends think. Again, I'm really not trying to be mean. But I wonder if she was actually "flirty" with you, or if that's wishful thinking, since you seem to have misjudged a lot of her actions (I know I wasn't there, but this is what I'm getting out of this thread). The friends thing? So her friends don't like you or something? If that's the case why would you bother with a girl who was like that? Honestly it sounds to me like you just really like this girl and are feeling hurt and rejected by her interest in someone else. But, I think Prettybaby gave the best advice, and the only advice that will really clear this up for you. Just ask her out! Then you'll have your answer.
BCCA Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 How do you know this girl? How sure are you that X/Z or whatever isnt dating her, or trying to? Here is my take: she was drunk and said hi to you. I dont see anything else there that would make me think there was more to it. Do you have this girls number so you can call and ask her out? Ask her out and your questions will be answered.
Soul Bear Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!! This is halarious!!! You could analyze this situation 100 times over and always come out with a different answer. As BCCA says, ask her out and then you will see whats going on. Sounds like she is single and he could see the competition for you, hence making a scene...of course i could be completely wrong. Dont analyze this one, work this one instead
JustLooking123 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Have you heard of Ockham's razor? Sometimes (oftentimes) the most obvious is the correct one. Your interpretations of the situation, on the other hand, are rather farfetched and complicated. It has been summarized well by other posters. That said, you have nothing to lose by asking her out; that will tell you for sure whether or not she's into you.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I tend to be super-flirty when I'm drunk. Really only when I was single, but I flirted with somebody I REALLY shouldn't have and I would have totally regretted that hook-up in the morning. So her flirtation with you could perfectly well mean NOTHING, just as her flirtation with Z could have perfectly well meant NOTHING. Judge her actions when she's sober.
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 One more thing - you guys aren't exclusive. She can flirt with whomever the hell she wants to. EVEN IF SHE DOES ACTUALLY LIKE YOU. It's not a move to necessarily make you jealous. Sounds more like she's hedging her bets. LOL Whoever moves in for the kill first wins.
Author Cosmo Posted June 6, 2009 Author Posted June 6, 2009 ok, i see what i have to do. have a nice day.
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