wow123 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 For those of you who have been broken up with...when do you feel the worst? For me it's when I wake up in the morning.
Nikki Sahagin Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 The days I knew we were meant to see i.e. my birthday, anniversarys, times we had plans in advance - that was always hard. Also at first I hated the sunshine because I felt so miserable and I would end up thinking of all the great things we could do like go to the beach etc.
t0ri Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I feel worst at night when I'm alone. I'm STILL losing sleep over this crap. I hate him. Also, I agree with Nikki, special occasions like birthdays are going to be weird. My ex's birthday is coming up in a few weeks. That day will probably be bad for me. We'll see.
bluewolf17 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Morning and nights. In the morning I wake up and go sit on my back porch and drink my coffee. I mostly think about him, and the fact that it's another day. I try to spin it positively, and some mornings, I don't feel as bad. Night is pretty bad. I don't mind sleeping alone, as I didn't ever have my own place when we dated anyways. I moved out as soon as we broke up, so no memories of him at my place. But I still go to bed, check my phone, and see that it's another day without him, and it will be another day tommorow, without him.
Jdw_Icequeen Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 At night I am happy. I enjoy sleeping by myself. I think its another day over with. In the morning most times I am pretty good. Latly I haven't been sleeping well I would say the last week. I don't dream of him thank god. But I wake up alot latly feeling restless during the night, I don't know if its because of him because I have had on and off problems sleeping my whole life. I would say during the day I feel the worst. Doing everything by myself taking on all the responsibilitys of a parent without him including the stress that comes with it and I think about him being free to do whatever he wants while I take on all the worry. Somedays are ok.
notalone Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Mornings. Right after waking up, for a few half-asleep seconds I dont remember the break-up...and then it hits me. Daily dissapointment. :/
bettedaviseyes Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Right when I wake up, and during the day when I'm alone.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Finally! Everybody talks about how bad nights (especially late nights) and weekends are for them. The worst time for me was mornings. It's only been a week or two of NC and we've been broken up for about 5 weeks. No, I haven't healed or anything, but the agonizing pain is gone. Anyways, I tried analyzing why it was that mornings were hard for me and nights weren't (like most people). And I came up with a logical answer but it could be wrong. Maybe mornings are hard because we wake up knowing it's over, and that person isn't going to be there that day. I woke up and INSTANTLY before I even opened my eyes I felt that horrible heavy-chest feeling. And I asked myself, why? Well, you wake up knowing you're not going to talk to that person that day, they're not going to be there to hold you, kiss you, whatever have you. And that that's now in the past. On top of that, you know you're going to have to spend a whole new day thinking about them and feeling like ****. Nights on the other hand surprisingly are easier for me. I think it's because I knew I got through another day of this torture and I'm one day closer to healing and feeling normal and happy again. And I know I'm going to put my racing little head to sleep soon, too, haha. Also, with everything that happened that day, I have a lot to think about. Sure, my thoughts would always be occupied with her but I had more moments where I would/could think about what I did that day, what happened, who I saw, what I talked about, etc. Weekends, though, are weird. I'm not saying they're the worst, but I'm saying they could be. And that's what makes them scary. I have a lot more time on my hands on weekends and that gives me more time to be tempted to talk to her, or check her MySpace. It sucks! On the other hand, though, there's more chances to do things on weekends. So, it's a win/lose situation. It all depends on how you use your time. *note: sometimes late afternoons are hard for me, though. I don't understand why, but it happens and I just hope it'll go away soon. Maybe it's 'cause I know I spent the whole day with her/talking to her/doing things that have nothing to do with her?
Author wow123 Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 IBELIEVE, We are on a similar timeline. Im 7 weeks broken up, 2.5 weeks NC. I still get the heavy chest feeling in the morning. I realize im not gonna get the morning text as someone else is instead. When I get home from work in the afteroon is also tough. Nights are not bad for me for some reason. I think the same as you I know I got through another day.
bluesky123 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I think about her in the morning, but its does not make me sad. It usually starts to hit me in the late afternoon. At night is bad we have siad good night to each other for the past 2 1/2 years. I feel so alone before I got to sleep. Like my day is not complete.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 IBELIEVE, We are on a similar timeline. Im 7 weeks broken up, 2.5 weeks NC. I still get the heavy chest feeling in the morning. I realize im not gonna get the morning text as someone else is instead. When I get home from work in the afteroon is also tough. Nights are not bad for me for some reason. I think the same as you I know I got through another day. The sh*tty morning feeling comes and goes for me. The first week or so, I had it everyday but it's been coming less and less. When I get home after everything things are pretty tough for me, too. Lately it has been. But again, I'm grateful it's not as bad or frequent as they used to be. I'm sure we'll get through this. Let's keep our chins up!
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I think about her in the morning, but its does not make me sad. It usually starts to hit me in the late afternoon. At night is bad we have siad good night to each other for the past 2 1/2 years. I feel so alone before I got to sleep. Like my day is not complete. Haha, our situations are reversed! Everything will be okay, don't worry.
bluesky123 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I hope it does, 4 days of no contact. I'm dieing inside
TheBigCow Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 bluesky123 I am not a particularly good example or anything.. but I find that sleeping somewhere else helps avoid this problem a bit.. I've been sleeping on the couch and even once on the floor in the lounge. Having said that, its not comfortable.
kostoronto Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Whenever something pops up that reminds me of her. A song, a picture, or a conversation we had. I now practice breathing exercises and listen to meditation music whenever she comes to mind. I always try focusing all of that negative energy into something positive. Studying, walking, writing, playing basketball, or anything active.
lonelygurl Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 There is no rhyme or reason to my worst times. I feel depressed, anxious and scared all the time. I miss my X most of the day and have trouble not thinking about him a lot of the time. Everything just seems so bleak.
isthmus Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 It's the mornings for me as well It used to be because I'd wake up, and for the past 8hours, I have forgotten that all this has ever happened- but then it hits me. It's like getting stabbed in the heart, again and again. But now that i've got used to the fact that we're not together and he's seeing someone else, it's more the sinking feeling that as I wake up... not too far away, he's doing the same thing.... but with someone else lying in his arms. It's not me anymore. I'm also especially bad when I know he's spending time with her (yes.. i'm still in contact with him, and his friends, i still know what he does almost everyday). I sit at home and imagine them laughing like we used to and that's when I get really sad. It's worse when I know they're on double/triple/quadruple dates with OUR old friends. I feel so replaced
bluesky123 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I know its' hard, but you can't think of you lost love with another person. I sometimes catch myself, but immediately get it out of my mind. The mard thing for me is wondering if she is thinking of me/ missing me.
muhlissah Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I'm 3.5 weeks into my separation and at first it was mornings. I would to panic and that's when I did most of my cring. Now its bed time. I'm sick of going to bed alone! I don't cry with the exception of tonight which I've made a post about. The nights are lonely especially when my kids are in bed or its not my night to have kids. Luckily I have internet and tv to keep my mind occupied. My meds help me sleep so that isn't an issue.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 It's the mornings for me as well It used to be because I'd wake up, and for the past 8hours, I have forgotten that all this has ever happened- but then it hits me. It's like getting stabbed in the heart, again and again. But now that i've got used to the fact that we're not together and he's seeing someone else, it's more the sinking feeling that as I wake up... not too far away, he's doing the same thing.... but with someone else lying in his arms. It's not me anymore. I'm also especially bad when I know he's spending time with her (yes.. i'm still in contact with him, and his friends, i still know what he does almost everyday). I sit at home and imagine them laughing like we used to and that's when I get really sad. It's worse when I know they're on double/triple/quadruple dates with OUR old friends. I feel so replaced I'm sure you've gotten NC suggestions up the ass and I'm assuming this is all brand new, happened very recently to you so I'm not going to force that on you. But I will suggest coming on here a lot, it really does help get motivated to start NC and as soon as you do (well not as soon as you do but give it time), things will get lighter. It's easier to focus on your life when you aren't focused on someone else's. And it's a lot easier to focus on the positive. NC is the fastest and most painless way to heal.
RunawayTrain Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Putting my head and taking my head off the pillow each night and morning is when I am at my worst. That is where in my attempted peaceful slumber the demons come back and the ever so busy mind loves to start thinking away, about the past that is.
Nikki Sahagin Posted June 5, 2009 Posted June 5, 2009 Though i'd add the nights aren't difficult for me, but sometimes its weird because we used to cuddle to sleep every night we were together, and i'd lie right in his arms with my head on his chest and just the feeling of going to sleep on someones warm skin and hearing their heart beat, feeling them breathe and move in their sleep - that was a hard intimate thing to forget - just the closeness of sharing your nights together. That is very hard.
SweetyBear Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 I cry myself to sleep and I wake up still in tears. I have started taking pain killers at night and watch movies until I can barely keep my eyes open so I can fall asleep ok without thinking about him. I can't do anything about when I wake up. I just wake up thinking another day without him and I wish I could take everything I said back. Songs do it for me too. The radio is my enemy.
gregory_z Posted June 6, 2009 Posted June 6, 2009 I agree with most of you who says mornings are the worst. It really hurts the instant that you wake up and reality hits you. Then I have to drag myself out of bed to go through the day, and I know it is going to be slow and painful. Nights are not as bad. I guess it is because I have been tired and drained the whole day that I just want to sleep and escape from reality. The hardest are the weekends. In my case is the day I do not go to work so I don't interact with other people. Weekends are also the days we used to go out together so there is a huge emptiness.
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