inloveandsad Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Been married for over 15 years, ups and downs but in the last year more downs than ups. I thought in the last month thing were getting better until......2 weeks ago, when I went out of town with the kids and when I came back I was going to do laundry and saw his jacket in the garage on the work bench I grabbed it to get it washed and..... found a box of condoms.... which we don't need to use and have not used in years. Confused I put them back in the jacket and came in the house to asked if he wanted me to wash it. I could see a concerned face, got up and got to the garage in no time, grabbed his jacket and put it in the car. This week he is gone on business trip but here comes the "shocker"... I happened to log on the computer under his account and did a drop of the sites visited, which I usually do so I don't have to re-type web pages.... and found like 5 links to escorts in the city where he is on "business trip" so now all the emotions are running loose. Upset, angry, concerned, sad I don't even know what bothers me the most...... it's funny that after so many years now I'm finding myself "wondering" how to deal and address this. Any suggestions to how to confront? I have kids that mean the world to me and want to do the least dammage to them but this is too big to "pretend" it didn't happen. Any thoughts.....
SansSouci Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 When your husband returns from his 'Business' trip, you must find a time where you can both talk, with no distractions. You must ask him about what you found in his jacket, and on the computer. When you have your answer from him, you must decide how you feel. You must first have his answer.
Thornton Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Personally I would not be able to have sex with my husband again if I thought he had been sleeping with dirty hookers, and the relationship would be over. Also I couldn't deal with the emotional infidelity, and his lack of consideration for me. Did he even think that he might pick up an STD and give it to the mother of his children? I can't believe how inconsiderate and selfish he has been. Please go and get an STD test to make sure he hasn't given you anything nasty, and think seriously about leaving him, because your relationship clearly isn't healthy if he feels the need to cheat, and he WILL do it again. Your children will be better off with two separate but stable parents rather than two unhappy parents in an unfaithful relationship.
hopesndreams Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Confront him about the condoms and he will lie and say he's holding them for a friend? Tell him about the sites you found online and he will be p*ssed and say how dare you snoop through my computer and then say he was looking for a friend? He can't worm his way out of this, the evidence is there. Right? I can't imagine being in your shoes, this is really, really awful!!!! Is there hope? Will he change his ways and never do this again? Are you able to forgive and move on? Confront him when you figure out what you want to do.
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