laying it on too thick?

[4givrnt4gtr]

Im in an almost 6 month relationship with this amazing guy. He seriously has almost all the qualities i want in a man.

 

We have a great time together and we are very sweet and loving towards each other. He is always telling me how amazing I am, how much he appreciates me, sends me the sweetest messages on text to which i usually respond with something just as sweet.

 

However, this is my concern. We've both have taken our sweet time really letting ourselves trust that this is for real. At the begining he would often comment how he could not believe how easy and happy was to be with me. He had gotten out of a relationship that was full of drama and having a dramaless relationship was new to him. He sometimes would comment that he is afraid of "the other shoe to drop", where i would show my witch like side.

I am a bit on the same boat, where i really cant believe i found someone who is so genuine and caring, not just with me but with everyone else.

 

Well lately Ive really started to feel that I am in love with this guy. Like, Im sitting watching tv with him, and I take a look at him and this surge of emotion just takes me by surprise and all i can think of is "god i love you" rapidly followed by the utter terror of being totally screwed if it turns sour.

 

In any case, this surge of emotion manifest itself by complimenting him A LOT. Telling him what an amazing guy he is, how lucky i am to have found him and how happy he makes me. When i tell him he just laughs and says im lying, or to shush (specially when I say he is amazing). Other times he tells me he thinks im pretty amazing as well. However, when i write it out, as in text or email he never comments about it and often i wonder if he even got the text or email. For instance, today i had dinner with a friend and we had a conversation where once again I felt like i am totally in love with my guy. So i wrote him an email telling him how I was so glad he is so amazing and that I hope i make him as happy as he makes me.

 

When we talked again he didnt mention any of it. He just answered a question i had added as a ps at the end of the email

 

Also, ive noticed that even though he compliments me and makes me feel like he really likes me, he isnt much of a mushy guy. As in...no pet names (other than the VERY rare "babe"), no mushy good nights etc. (though interestingly enough i have woken up to a few mushy good mornings)

 

SO this makes me wonder....am I praising him too much? can i be overwhelming him with my effusiveness? We havent really said I love you yet, though Ive had the feeling a few times that he is about to but catches himself and instead says "I really really like you" or "I like you a lot". Only once he said he loved me but he was drunk so i dont really count that.

 

 

But my point is....I know i love him...but I dont know if he feels the same for me. And if he doesnt, would showing him/telling him how much i care for him the way i do scare him off?

 

Should i back off a bit and let him "catch up" to me so to speak? or if he is already allow him the space to be more demonstrative? What do you guys think?

[530 Guy]

Should i back off a bit and let him "catch up" to me so to speak? or if he is already allow him the space to be more demonstrative?

Yes. Don't go too fast.

[robinincarolina]

Don't do it. Please don't do it. I know how it feels, I waited 11 months to hear those words, but hell would freeze over before I said them first. It meant so much more that I was not the one to speak of our feelings first. I could write a book on the reasons why you should not do this. I would back off on the compliments too. Let him pursue you. My guy is not mushy at all either, but he got around to it. We even broke up for a short while, but its all ok now.

 

Remember a guys timetable is very different from ours. When I say to slow down on the compliments, thats because even though you don't say the words, he will start to sense it. A lot of men get overwhelmed by the emotions of us women and that is when they will start to get distant. Move slowly, whats the hurry? Often we as women give too much too fast and it backfires almost everytime.