prettybaby Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I find myself wondering about my bf's whole relationship history, and honestly, should he come to tell me about every girl he's been with, I know it wouldn't cause any negative or jealous feelings on my part. Obviously, the past is the past and it would actually be weird if he hadn't had anyone before me However, my curiosity is just not enough for me to actually bother asking him. He never asks me anything either. Is it common for couples to never really bring up their past relationships? Mind you, we both had one long term relationship before we were together. So that has been discussed a bit when we first started dating, but never in details. I think he assumes my ex is the only real relationship I've had in my life (that's correct, by the way lol!); so I can kinda see why he wouldn't ask me more questions at this point. But he's older than me, and although I think his relationship number is fairly low, I don't know how long the relationships lasted, how they ended, etc. So besides that one relationship (which he says was his longest, and the only one who actually moved in with him), I don't really know about anything. And he doesn't either. Is that weird? Not sure I even want to ask, to be honest. It's not like it really matters. And I could live without knowing. I guess I'm just curious to see how other couples approach this aspect (or don't, for that matter lol). Have you always had "that talk" with your SO when your relationship became serious?
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 It's usually one of the first questions I ask when I'm serious about somebody. And it has nothing to do with judgment. I just like to know where they're coming from and quite honestly, I'm curious about people. I like to understand how they came to be the way they are. My current BF said he was kind of surprised when it was one of the first questions I asked him in an email. I, of course, disclosed mine. But he liked the fact that I wasn't all about the "fluff" questions (what do you do for fun, what's your favorite food/color/drink/etc). I dunno. I don't really judge people on their past if I can help it. Their past is their past and as long as it's not something that would damage them severely psychologically, I don't care what happened in their past (meaning that I'm INTERESTED, but don't have any FEELINGS about it). I find people's backgrounds fascinating.
Author prettybaby Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 Thanks! It's not really that big of a deal. And I suppose I'll probably learn a bit more about his romantic past over the next few years. I guess that's also one of the reasons why I don't feel a strong need to ask about it all *right now* My ex just talked about it all in details without me ever asking much. So I've never been in the position of actually asking such personal questions.
Star Gazer Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I'm like you, PB. My BF haven't asked about the nitty gritty details, but we know enough. We know how long our longest/most serious relationships were, why those relationships ended, whether we've cheated/been cheated on, when and why the last relationship ended, and why we thought we were still single when we met. But it's all very, very basic information.
Trialbyfire Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 It's per couple that will drive this kind of talk. It's also reliant on how serious the relationship has become. My fiance's told me everything about his past partners, albeit not down to the tasteless details of sexual escapades. I've told him everything, as well.
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