lora22 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 It seems like it might be a little ridic that he made this up, if he's an intelligent person. I mean, presumably you and he will be dating for awhile...possibly (probably) you will at some point meet some of these people, or attend said wedding, so he'd really look like a dumbass when you mention the Vegas proposal on XX weekend to the new bride (or whoever), and he's caught in a lie in front of everyone... But you never know. I wouldn't get too worked up over it.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 I wouldn't get too worked up over it. But you would make a joke about it? I am sorry but I am just trying to figure out what to do here. I mean we both have talked about lying before, and I would like to think he is a trustworthy person. I don't want to go around accusing him, that might push him away.
lora22 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 But you would make a joke about it? I am sorry but I am just trying to figure out what to do here. I mean we both have talked about lying before, and I would like to think he is a trustworthy person. I don't want to go around accusing him, that might push him away. Yeah, if it really bugged me, and I would want to say something, but in such a way that it didn't sound like I was insecure, or hurt, or suspicious, or any of a number of other things. So I would either make a joke of it, like I said, to keep it light, OR you could also just be like, honey, I don't want to make a huge deal out of this, so I'm only going to mention this once. I don't know this girl/your friends, but did you guys all think about if the girl would mind her fiance hanging out with all his friends (who crashed their vacation?? I'm assuming that's what she thinks it is) the weekend that he proposes to her? Personally I'd probably do the first one. But I mean...this could be a number of things, but I can definitely imagine a scenario where the clueless guy decides HE likes Vegas, so he's going to take his girl there for a weekend and propose...and thinks, well hell, I'm already in Vegas, all my guy buddies should come party with us too! And then the gf is pissed because she thought she was going on a (romantic) vacation with her bf, which def is romantic cuz he proposes...but then oops, the weekend was actually about hanging out with the guys. But honestly, who knows
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 So I bought it up to my BF about how this whole story seems bizarre. We talked for a bit and he basically said this is unbelieveable that you wouldn't believe me, I guess her friends are going to. He said they were going with like 20 people. Then he hung up on me. Now I am pissed.... I am pissed that he hung up on me, I am even more pissed than before that 20+ people are going, and I WAS NOT invited, and then to put the icing on the cake.... He went on effin Twitter and posted a comment, "Apparently I am a f'ing liar....Awesome." Urggggg why would be publically write that.... all his friends are on there. Pretty much I feel like this relationship is over. I am so upset/sad right now.
Jilly Bean Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 OMG! So, you questioned the weekend, he admits he lied, that all of the gf's friends are going (so one would assume the soon to be engaged couple is not the only couple going), he gets offended that you think he's a liar (even though he was), and then he hangs up on you. Wow.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 OMG! So, you questioned the weekend, he admits he lied, that all of the gf's friends are going (so one would assume the soon to be engaged couple is not the only couple going), he gets offended that you think he's a liar (even though he was), and then he hangs up on you. Wow. Well no... he isn't admitting to lying at all. See I don't think there is a proposal or anything. He keeps saying there is, and she is flying out her friends and he is flying out his friends. I am even more mad now that I was not invited, when now according to him its guys and girls, so why not me? And I am pissed he hung up on me, I mean I didn't want that type of relationship and I thought he was different. An hour passed and still no phone call or text message. Then the twitter thing... WTF why? Now all his friends are going to ask him what that comment meant. I am pretty much done. I don't want to be with someone that would hang up on me, go to Vegas with 20+ friends and not invite me to go, and someone who will publically air out our dirty laundry. I mean yes, I am posting it on a forum, but you people don't know him or I. Its all strangers, thats different then twittering it to all his friends. Urrrrggggg I don't even know what to do, I am so upset. I have liked him for so long, and its upsetting that he isn't the guy I thought he was. ::::::::::sigh::::::::::
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 Can anyone give me an advice anything.... I mean I can see why he would get upset that I was basically accusing him of lying, but the story just seems bizarre, and I had to say something. That doesn't give him the right to just hang up on me, and act like such a child. I don't know what the F I am going to do, it even makes it all worse. I have to see him tomorrow, because we work together, so yeah that will make the workplace great! I am so bummed right now.
Jilly Bean Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Well no... he isn't admitting to lying at all. See I don't think there is a proposal or anything. He keeps saying there is, and she is flying out her friends and he is flying out his friends. I am even more mad now that I was not invited, when now according to him its guys and girls, so why not me? And I am pissed he hung up on me, I mean I didn't want that type of relationship and I thought he was different. An hour passed and still no phone call or text message. Then the twitter thing... WTF why? Now all his friends are going to ask him what that comment meant. I am pretty much done. I don't want to be with someone that would hang up on me, go to Vegas with 20+ friends and not invite me to go, and someone who will publically air out our dirty laundry. I mean yes, I am posting it on a forum, but you people don't know him or I. Its all strangers, thats different then twittering it to all his friends. Urrrrggggg I don't even know what to do, I am so upset. I have liked him for so long, and its upsetting that he isn't the guy I thought he was. ::::::::::sigh:::::::::: Seriously? You don't think there's a proposal? Why is that? Did he allude to that? Or, was it your spidey senses telling you this? (and I don't discount intuition, as yours was spot on initially with this situation). I agree - why not you indeed! Since it's 20 people, and again, if this ONE couple is going, can we not assume other couples are in attendance? But, even if there was a good reason for this, like, maybe 10 guys decided to go without their women, and make it a guys weekend, and go off golfing and drinking - FINE. All he had to do was be honest about it, you know? The Twitter thing was childish. I don't twit personally, but I imagine it's like other sites and you post your updates on your page, right? I am SO sorry things turned out this way, Candy. Sometimes I truly hate being right. But, as pissed as you are, are you happier knowing this now?
carhill Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Crap! I have a feeling this is not over yet. Keep us updated. Hugs!
Jilly Bean Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I mean I can see why he would get upset that I was basically accusing him of lying, but the story just seems bizarre, and I had to say something. But he WAS lying Candy, and now he's turning it around on you. Like, if you found out he was cheating through emails on his computer, he'd pout that you invaded his privacy, forgetting about the fact that he cheated! Don't let his tantrum detract from the core of this. I would have confronted it as well.
lora22 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 I'm on the fence on this - honestly, I'm not sure how I would feel in your situation, given I don't know your relationship with your bf, or what kind of person he is. Some things to think about: *You don't *know* that there's not a proposal - maybe this is kind of like an engagement party, in which case I don't think you'd be invited anyways, traditionally. *Yes, a lot of people are going, but it sounds like they all know each other, and that you would be the odd man out. That's not a good situation for your bf, who probably wants to celebrate/hang with all his old buddies. I'm sure that you're fun and social and would get along with people and everything, but it's still different. *Maybe he doesn't feel it's his place to invite you, given the circumstances (assuming he didn't lie, which is kind of my default mode). *Maybe he didn't want to put you in the position of meeting a huge group of his good friends at once, especially since they're probably celebrating this couple's engagement, which means there's probably a lot of inside jokes and stuff, and you get left out. He could be thinking of you, as well as himself. As far as Twitter, that's just wrong. Sorry.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 But he WAS lying Candy, and now he's turning it around on you. Like, if you found out he was cheating through emails on his computer, he'd pout that you invaded his privacy, forgetting about the fact that he cheated! Don't let his tantrum detract from the core of this. I would have confronted it as well. You think he was lying? He never admitted that. I told him he wouldn't admit it, and he said what now what ever I tell you, you will always just question it? I said well no but the story just seems odd. He said have I ever lied to you before, and I said well I don't know.
AllInOne Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Your boyfriend's story is bizarre and I think you have every right to be pissed about the twitter deal. I have no idea what people are trying to accomplish when they share private issues like that.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 Crap! I have a feeling this is not over yet. Keep us updated. Hugs! Not over yet? Really, I mean he hung up on me! We have had this conversation before, and he said he doesn't think its right to hang up on someone, and then he did it to me. Pretty much, I am sure that means he is done.
Jilly Bean Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 You think he was lying? He never admitted that. I told him he wouldn't admit it, and he said what now what ever I tell you, you will always just question it? I said well no but the story just seems odd. He said have I ever lied to you before, and I said well I don't know. Well, it depends if you consider an omission of truth a lie or not. lol He initially told you it was just this guy's male friends going stag, and that he was going to propose to his GF and they were all going to celebrate. He never mentioned that all of the GF's friends were going to, and that it was a group of 20. He didn't lie in that he told you there were NO other people going - he just left that part out entirely.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 I'm on the fence on this - honestly, I'm not sure how I would feel in your situation, given I don't know your relationship with your bf, or what kind of person he is. Some things to think about: *You don't *know* that there's not a proposal - maybe this is kind of like an engagement party, in which case I don't think you'd be invited anyways, traditionally. *Yes, a lot of people are going, but it sounds like they all know each other, and that you would be the odd man out. That's not a good situation for your bf, who probably wants to celebrate/hang with all his old buddies. I'm sure that you're fun and social and would get along with people and everything, but it's still different. *Maybe he doesn't feel it's his place to invite you, given the circumstances (assuming he didn't lie, which is kind of my default mode). *Maybe he didn't want to put you in the position of meeting a huge group of his good friends at once, especially since they're probably celebrating this couple's engagement, which means there's probably a lot of inside jokes and stuff, and you get left out. He could be thinking of you, as well as himself. As far as Twitter, that's just wrong. Sorry. Yes thanks for the insight on why I wasn't invited. That actually does make me feel better about why I was not invited, and thank you now I don't feel so upset about that. But now I am still upset about him hanging up on me, and the twitter deal. I mean should I text him about why he would twitter our problems or should I not do anything and talk about it with him once he calls/texts me.... if he ever does. It has been over an hour now.
OverThinker Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Ok this is the way i view this after reading the whole thread. 1.) You said you trusted him but the questioned his story 2.) he didn't lie to you as I see it, the guy invited his friends the girl invited her friends, are they bringing all of there SO's. 3.) he over reacted and should not have hung up on you but you basically told him I don't trust you. 4.) The twitter thing was out of line but likely an over-reaction he'll regret it 5.) If you both want to work this out it is gonna take alot to restore the Trust. I wish you the best. Good Luck
mental_traveller Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 How did you question him on the trip, were you tactful or accusing? In any case, I think he overreacted really badly, especially hanging your dirty laundry out on Twitter for all to see. IMO he is either very touchy by nature, or you struck a nerve and he is hiding something. Either way it's not a good sign.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 Your boyfriend's story is bizarre and I think you have every right to be pissed about the twitter deal. I have no idea what people are trying to accomplish when they share private issues like that. Thank you for that, I mean maybe I went about it the wrong way.... it kinda went like this. He called me Him: So I bought the tickets to Vegas Me: Awesome, how long was that planned? ::::giggle:::: Him: What do you mean, just today. Me: Well I am just saying the story seems odd, the whole proposal story.. etc..... Yes, twitter makes absolutely no sense, now to all of his friends, I will look like I am a psycho, great.
WineCountry Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Candy..I just would just let it go, and just maybe cool off with this guy a bit. It seems like he lied to you, for one. And two, if there are other women going..why cant you go? And the fact that you dont know the other people means nothing. Everyone has to meet someone for the first time. Im sure all the people going weren't born already knowing each other. And how do you know if everyone going knows each other anyway? There may be some guy going who is bringing along his own girlfriend who hasnt met anyone before. As a matter of fact, to me, if you are someone your guy values and figures will be around for a while, he would want to introduce you to folks. I mean, why not bring your girlfriend along to have a good time in Vegas when other couples are presumably going? Seems like the perfect trip.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 Yup so now I am stuck. I will HAVE to see him tomorrow at work, but who knows if he will bring up this crap. He might just be thinking he is done with this relationship without even letting me know that. Should I text him about this/or about the twitter thing, or should I wait for him to do it, he is the one who hung up. I just would have thought he would've called me by now.
lora22 Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 He initially told you it was just this guy's male friends going stag, and that he was going to propose to his GF and they were all going to celebrate. He never mentioned that all of the GF's friends were going to, and that it was a group of 20. My take on it was that he mentioned he was going, and that a bunch of his cousins were as well. Maybe he didn't know at the time the other girls were going. Maybe he just didn't give a crap they were going, b/c he was excited to hang out with the guys, so he didn't think to mention it. Either way, I think this credence to the fact that he wasn't lying about celebrating a proposal.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 3, 2009 Author Posted June 3, 2009 Candy..I just would just let it go, and just maybe cool off with this guy a bit. It seems like he lied to you, for one. And two, if there are other women going..why cant you go? And the fact that you dont know the other people means nothing. Everyone has to meet someone for the first time. Im sure all the people going weren't born already knowing each other. And how do you know if everyone going knows each other anyway? There may be some guy going who is bringing along his own girlfriend who hasnt met anyone before. As a matter of fact, to me, if you are someone your guy values and figures will be around for a while, he would want to introduce you to folks. I mean, why not bring your girlfriend along to have a good time in Vegas when other couples are presumably going? Seems like the perfect trip. Yeah I agree with you, but lora22 also made a good post as to maybe why I wasn't invited. Yeah ultimately I am hurt that I was not invited, but I can see both sides.
WineCountry Posted June 3, 2009 Posted June 3, 2009 Ahh..so he is taking you now? Once you get there, see what the gathering is like. Ask yourself if there was a good reason not to invite you to it in the first place. If your answer is no, I would keep my feelings in check with this guy. You dont have to dump him, just play it safe.
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