CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 My BF and I have been together for 5 months, so its a fairly new relationhip. One of his friends from another state is about to propose to his girl in Vegas and just invited my BF to go visit them. He told me about it and said something about inviting all of his cousins to go with him. I think all of his cousins are this guys friends too. Would this upset you? He did not invite me at all, and I don't think that just because I am his GF means I have to go where ever he goes, but I can't help it that it kind of hurt my feelings that he didn't even invite me. I want to choose my battles wisely so what do you all think? Worth a fight or let it go? I trust him... thats NOT the issue. Its more the fact that I wasn't invited. Thanks in advance!
boldjack Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Candy, To be "invited", to a proposal seems a trifle over the top, to me. If it's a type of boys night out thing, i wouldn't be too upset. There are many events I don't invite my woman to and vice versa.
xpaperxcutx Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 5 months takes the cake, you're practically at the half way mark of a one year anniversary. Of course you should be upset. I can't imagine dating someone for 5 months and not get invited to a family get together, let alone a wedding. You could try bringing the subject matter up with him since you so desire to let him know you want to go. Did he even mention whether the wedding had a plus one to the guest list? Oops misread your thread. If it's just a proposal, then maybe you should just him and the guys have their alone time.
lora22 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Well if it bugs you, then it bugs you. Personally, wouldn't bother me, and here's why: 1. You've only been together 5 months. 2. Sounds like it's a bunch of old friends getting together. It probably didn't occur to him that you would be interested in being involved in that situation at this point in your relationship. Or maybe he wants to have fun with his old friends, without the stress of making sure you're included and what not. 3. You trust him. The only factor that might bug me is if everyone else was bringing their SO. Then I would feel left out for not being invited.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 Candy, To be "invited", to a proposal seems a trifle over the top, to me. If it's a type of boys night out thing, i wouldn't be too upset. There are many events I don't invite my woman to and vice versa. I see your point. And I really don't want to bring this up with him, believe I rather let this one go. But its not a bachelor party or anything... like I said his friend is proposing to his GF, so she will be there...........
lora22 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 like I said his friend is proposing to his GF, so she will be there........... Do you know the gf? Are you friends with her? How long has she known your bf and his cousins? I'm guessing she knows her soon to be fiance's friends better than you do....
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 5 months takes the cake, you're practically at the half way mark of a one year anniversary. Of course you should be upset. I can't imagine dating someone for 5 months and not get invited to a family get together, let alone a wedding. You could try bringing the subject matter up with him since you so desire to let him know you want to go. Did he even mention whether the wedding had a plus one to the guest list? Oops misread your thread. If it's just a proposal, then maybe you should just him and the guys have their alone time. I see LOL, yeah I am up for a guys thing, thats fine by me. Just hurt my feelings a little because his friends soon to be fiance will be there. I don't know, I mean I am sure he will have more fun with his friends, it just kinda hurt. I think I would invite him if it were reversed, thats all. But like I said I want to choose my battles wisely, I am trying to not get so upset over everything, because I really like him and I want to have a mature trusting relationship.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 Do you know the gf? Are you friends with her? How long has she known your bf and his cousins? I'm guessing she knows her soon to be fiance's friends better than you do.... No I do not know her or his friend who is proposing. They live out of state. Yeah I know everyone that is going knows this guy, not so sure about his GF but possibly.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 Well if it bugs you, then it bugs you. Personally, wouldn't bother me, and here's why: 1. You've only been together 5 months. 2. Sounds like it's a bunch of old friends getting together. It probably didn't occur to him that you would be interested in being involved in that situation at this point in your relationship. Or maybe he wants to have fun with his old friends, without the stress of making sure you're included and what not. 3. You trust him. The only factor that might bug me is if everyone else was bringing their SO. Then I would feel left out for not being invited. Thanks, I love LS! I am trying hard to do the right thing here. I don't want to be the b!+ch/nag girlfriend. I still want him to have a life of his own.
carhill Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Put the shoe on the other foot. Imagine the situation involved one of your female friends and you were invited and not him. Imagine no other men were invited (were any women here? IDK). Would it be a big deal to him? Would it matter to you? Why?
lora22 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 No I do not know her or his friend who is proposing. They live out of state. That may have a lot to do with why you weren't invited, even though "the gf" will be there.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 Put the shoe on the other foot. Imagine the situation involved one of your female friends and you were invited and not him. Imagine no other men were invited (were any women here? IDK). Would it be a big deal to him? Would it matter to you? Why? Right, the only girl that I know who is going/invited is his friends soon to be fiance. His friend invited him out there to celebrate. I don't know the whole story, I mean MAYBE she is having female friends go also, I am not sure. So even though his friends fiance will be there I shouldn't take it too personal? Thats the problem I take everything too personal, and I am trying not to.
carhill Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Next time when you go to Vegas with your girlfriends and he stays home, you'll understand why taking things personally is so over-rated
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 I am glad I asked LS before I got angry about it. I decided I am just going to let this go, like I said I do trust him. So no big deal. If I didn't, I wouldn't be with him. Simple as that.
Jilly Bean Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 So, some guy is proposing to his GF in Vegas, and he's asked a bunch of guys to come along and witness it and hang for the weekend? Sorry - not buying it. If a guy is taking his GF to Vegas to propose, the last thing he's going to do is invite his friends along. What a way to piss off his gf.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 So, some guy is proposing to his GF in Vegas, and he's asked a bunch of guys to come along and witness it and hang for the weekend? Sorry - not buying it. If a guy is taking his GF to Vegas to propose, the last thing he's going to do is invite his friends along. What a way to piss off his gf. Yeah, I was kinda thinking that actually. ::::::sigh::::::: I don't know, I don't want to just not believe the whole story. If its all made up he was suave about it. A week ago he said he was trying to help his friend think of a good way to propose in vegas for their anniversary. Then today his friend came up with the idea that him and his other friends should meet up with them to celebrate. I guess my BF told me that his friend isn't proposing till Saturday, so he wouldn't even see him till afterwards. So maybe it is believeable. Either way I certainly DO NOT want to be the only girl there, if they fly out Friday, and don't see his friend and fiance till Saturday. I certainly can not ask him if its all made up, and I refuse to drive myself crazy wondering if this whole thing was made up.
carhill Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 As if anyone needs a 'reason' to go to Vegas Sounds like a bunch of right-coasters getting away for some party time. OK, guy friend proposing is a good story line. It might even be true. In the long run, it doesn't really matter. Either the OP is comfortable and positive about her BF doing things and going places without her or she isn't. I'm hoping for the former
lora22 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Either the OP is comfortable and positive about her BF doing things and going places without her or she isn't. I'm hoping for the former Yeah, that's about what it comes down to. If what Jillybean pointed out really bugs you, maybe you could jokingly say something to your bf about the gf being ticked that a bunch of guys are crashing her engagement weekend and see what he says?
Jilly Bean Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Yeah, I was kinda thinking that actually. ::::::sigh::::::: I don't know, I don't want to just not believe the whole story. If its all made up he was suave about it. A week ago he said he was trying to help his friend think of a good way to propose in vegas for their anniversary. Then today his friend came up with the idea that him and his other friends should meet up with them to celebrate. I guess my BF told me that his friend isn't proposing till Saturday, so he wouldn't even see him till afterwards. So maybe it is believeable. Either way I certainly DO NOT want to be the only girl there, if they fly out Friday, and don't see his friend and fiance till Saturday. I certainly can not ask him if its all made up, and I refuse to drive myself crazy wondering if this whole thing was made up. It's not believable, Candy. I'm sorry - but if a guy is going to go through the effort of planning a proposal, he isn't bringing his friends along. What does sound plausible, however, is a guys weekend in Vegas, and like your BF didn't think you'd approve or let him go, so he made up this excuse. I don't think he's up to anything like cheating, I think he was trying to get a free pass for some reason, and this was the best he could come up with.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 As if anyone needs a 'reason' to go to Vegas Sounds like a bunch of right-coasters getting away for some party time. OK, guy friend proposing is a good story line. It might even be true. In the long run, it doesn't really matter. Either the OP is comfortable and positive about her BF doing things and going places without her or she isn't. I'm hoping for the former Good point, it does come down to trust. And even though I have been cheated on in my past, so has he. So he knows how it feels. We need to have trust in the relationship, so I have no other choice. I know without a doubt that he would be completely fine with me going with my girlfriends.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 It's not believable, Candy. I'm sorry - but if a guy is going to go through the effort of planning a proposal, he isn't bringing his friends along. What does sound plausible, however, is a guys weekend in Vegas, and like your BF didn't think you'd approve or let him go, so he made up this excuse. I don't think he's up to anything like cheating, I think he was trying to get a free pass for some reason, and this was the best he could come up with. Yeah I see, I agree. I thought it seemed odd at first. That kinda upsets me even more now. I don't know. Should I say something about her not being upset that they are crashing her engagement weekend, or let this go as well? Seems odd... Now I am upset that he might have lied about the whole thing.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 See things like this makes me feel like a relationship isn't worth all the drama! ::::::::sigh:::::::: Now I feel worse
lora22 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Should I say something about her not being upset that they are crashing her engagement weekend, or let this go as well? Make a joke of it, like "Wow she must be really cool if she won't mind having her engagement weekend crashed by a bunch of guys :)" Just see what his reaction is!
Jilly Bean Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Yeah I see, I agree. I thought it seemed odd at first. That kinda upsets me even more now. I don't know. Should I say something about her not being upset that they are crashing her engagement weekend, or let this go as well? Seems odd... Now I am upset that he might have lied about the whole thing. Well, I think the larger issue here Candy, is if he DID lie, why did he feel the need to? I mean, what is it about your relationship that he felt he had to go to this length? If it were me, and I found out he did lie, I'd have serious doubts about continuing on, because with so little trust in the relationship, and his ability to lie so easily, I'd wonder what's next. Now, you don't know for SURE if he's lying. I would ask him how this guys GF was expected to react when she is proposed to in the middle of a "guys weekend", and why wouldn't she find it odd that she is the ONLY woman in the middle of a guys weekend in Vegas?
Author CandyGirlXO Posted June 2, 2009 Author Posted June 2, 2009 Yeah I will probably say something along the lines of how its crazy that she wouldn't get upset that a bunch of his guy friends are going to ruin their proposal trip. See what his reaction is. I don't know, does anyone else think that this whole thing is made up?!?! I don't know why he would feel like he would have to go to all that trouble, now I feel crappy.
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