r0xigirll991 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Well Im back again.. and basically in the same situation... except worse. same lines, "we aren't meant for each other", "we argue", "we need time apart", "i need my space" do you think he'll want me back ever?
robinincarolina Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Give him his space. You won't get him back if you don't grant his request. I went through something similar, guy did not know if he wanted a relationship after almost a year of having one with me. Its not you its me song and dance. I let him go, barely bat and eye. When a man tells you these things, you have to believe him. Your heart doesn't want to, but you have to. I let my guy go and did not let him see me sweat, but oh I so was. Anyway, he came back. Had I shown emotion, tried to hold him back, we would not be together now. I saw it coming and I prepared for it. I knew he was a good man, and I was determined to get him back. I was lucky enough to be able to plan ahead and prepare if theres such a thing as being prepared for that. Men have issues with commitment, but down inside they really want to be loved like everyone else. They fear losing their identity and having to account for all of thier time to you. I could go on and on about this, but the bottom line is they are very different from women and you can't approach them like you would want to be approached. I know it hurts, but hang on. You are about to go on an emotional roller coaster ride. In the meantime, let him go for now if you ever want a second chance. In the meantime, you may discover things about yourself and grow as a person. You never know whats in the future. I like to think when one door closes, another one opens.
lizzylizliz Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 I can understand how you feel, my o/h told me last night that he doesn't want to live together anymore, that he doens't know if he loves me (he can't say he doesn't, but feels unready to say he does, even though hes' already said it to me)....I think men just get afraid, get cold feet, they need space and time, and as much as it hurts (trust me, I'm actually dying slowly!) we HAVE to give it them. If I asked him for time and space and he didn't give it to me, and texted/called me all the time, I'd just get sick of it because he wasn't respecting my wishes and blatantly cared more about himself than me. That's what WE have to do....I've told him that I love and support him, and will be here should he need to talk or have a shoulder to cry on etc, and he said he appreciated that....I'm just keeping contact light, seeig how he is today, how work is etc, not making commitments to whe I'm going to see him next...see this as being as much as break for YOU as it is him...re-evaluate how you feel, what your priorities are...I for one know I haven't seen as much of my girlfriends as I should be lately because I've been clinging to him....so maybe I'll take a bit of time with them....and if he wants me, he knows I'm here. If he doesn't...well, there's only one person who'ac actions you can control in this life, and that's you're own! We may not undertand or even LIKE the way other people treat us...but it's THEIR bad. Not ours. Keep that in mind
Author r0xigirll991 Posted June 4, 2009 Author Posted June 4, 2009 oh no HE SAW ME SWEAT WHAT DO I DO? is it to late to win him back. do i just stop talking to him.
Author r0xigirll991 Posted January 9, 2010 Author Posted January 9, 2010 Wow, I am very immature.. I didn't take anyone's advice. I didn't give him his space. I did everything a person could do wrong in the book. Trust me, I pushed this guy as possibly far away as possible. Wow, do I regret every decision I ever made this year. This has been the worst year of my life. I honestly would like to die at this point. I am eighteen and about to drop out because I've been so consumed with this guy. I have to learn from my mistakes, however I haven't changed at all.
HLP234 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Don't let things like this affect your life, school, work or anything. You have to realize when girl or guy says they need space, just acknowledge it and pretend its like a break up. That way, in case they come back and talk to you or not, you already have started moving on. My ex asked for space, I started that, NC and everything but then I got bashed and accused by her because I wasn't talking to her like we normally did?? What? I thought you wanted the space, and I have been respectful and gave it to her, but oh well she left without even getting back to me on the matter. So just prepare for the worst, but hope for the best, for yourself that is.
myhearthurtsbadly Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 First you need to tell us what you did. Then stop. Take a deep breath, and hear me when i say YOU WILL GET OVER THIS. I have been broken up with the love of my life for a month, at one point i honestly thought i would die from the pain, and was considering helping it along. Everything feels black, you are in the depths of despair, a place where few people from the West actually visit. If you ever want the chance of reconciliation, let alone getting back together you have to go total no contact for as long as is neccessary. You MUST do this right now, this instant. Now tell me what you did.
dazzle22 Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Don't be so hard on yourself. U are very young and no one your age really knows how to navigate relationships.! Heck, I divorced at 50. Now that is something to be ticked at ones self over!
adamt Posted January 9, 2010 Posted January 9, 2010 Give him all the space he needs. you will feel it is the opposite of what you should do but it is the only way you have any chance of him coming back. in most cases they dont com eback. why would someone want to be away from you to see if they want to be with you.my ex said she missed me during our break, so when she came back i was ready to work things out. when she came back she wanted to end it.i just never thought we would ever split up. but you have to try your best to accept the situation then think of how you will look after yourself
LovelyDaze Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Please listen to most of the advice on here to stay away. He asked you to give him space...then, give him space. Don't turn into "that" girlfriend that doesn't take no for an answer. Don't you dare drop out of school over a guy. Not ever. You are giving this guy WAY to much power over your life. Keep moving on to a bright future for your career in life by staying in school and try to stay focused. Hang out with friends and spend time with the people who have proven to love you and will be by your side. Doing NC is the best no matter what. Why? Whether you do NC and your ex realizes that you are someone he wants in his life or whether you do NC and he goes off another way from you...well, you win either way. If you need to convince someone to be with you, then they are NOT for you.
adamt Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 If you need to convince someone to be with you, then they are NOT for you. exactly, if they dont miss you when you arent there then they obviously dont have much feelings for you anymore.
paleblue Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 r0xigirl i am sorry to hear you are going through this. it's painful and it sucks. my best advice to you after hearing something like that, no matter how much you love him, is to let him go and start living your own life. i know that is not easy to hear, but if you dont, you are just going to cause yourself even more misery than what you feel now. and you will keep yourself from healing. i would just stop with the contact and start living your own life. it will get better eventually. when someone says something like that to you its probably a sure bet they mean what they say. sorry.
HLP234 Posted January 10, 2010 Posted January 10, 2010 Everyone here is right, I was skeptical and really thought a break meant an actual time to figure ones self out..but she never even let me know she was moving on. Just left like that, which sucks. So when you hear that, think about it..if someone who says they love you, really cared and did not have other things on their mind, why would they need to take a break to find themselves. You can find yourself when you are in a relationship anyway, without needing a break. It would be ok if they said they wanted to be left alone for a little, without saying they need time away from you..that is understandable. But what it actually means is they may have other plans and you don't need to be their back up.
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