Hollyblue Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 U need to get a separate bank account and split up your funds. She works let her figure it out. Dont pay for her lawyer that is ridiculous. Dont let her fool you again, quit being the nice guy - she doesnt deserve it.Good luck
TrustInYourself Posted July 9, 2009 Posted July 9, 2009 FMA, I think you have a tough situation ahead and I wish you the very best. You may be right about your upcoming battle, however, armed with that knowledge you should be making preparations to support your efforts to be a good father. That is your right, regardless. You have a right to your children. I would suggest caution about being transparent with your STBXW regarding your plans, thoughts, and feelings. You need to project positivity and cooperation, but taking actions that "build your case". As far as finances, you need to be creating consequences immediately for her decisions. That means, separate accounts, finances, and living arrangements. Especially if she is the one that wants out. Move her out. Take care!
Author FoolMeAgain Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 FMA, I think you have a tough situation... I would suggest caution about being transparent with your STBXW regarding your plans, thoughts, and feelings. You need to project positivity and cooperation, but taking actions that "build your case". Take care! I'm not sure what you mean - could you elaborate on that thought?
Author FoolMeAgain Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 We'll another roller coaster week. I thought the stbx was on her way into her new life. We had another talk on Sat - she left to stay with a friend overnight. When she returned she went out to look at an apartment. Upon returning, she spend most of Sun crying. By Sun pm, she changed her mind and doesn't believe she should be the one to leave. She said since I'm the 'un-happy' one, I should go. I reminded her that if I go we need to sell the house, uproot every aspect of our sons life, and piss away any savings we have to do that. She is SO selfish she'd rather do that than make this easier for our son. I got to listen to her call with her OM - he offered to sell his house and get a bigger one for them all... It's not about right or wrong, just me me me me me me me...
Chrome Barracuda Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 WTF that is disgusting. I would have been pushing her to jump at the chance and be with him let him support her, now is not the time for waffling! She needs to move on and move out. Why is she still hanging on for? and she has the audacity to call the OM right in front of you, dude you are a better man than I. I swear I would have made her eat that cell phone chip by chip! lol. Is she leaving? yes or no.
mark982 Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 she's treating you like a wimp(sorry),calling om in front of you. can you cancel the phone? buddy she gots to go.
TrustInYourself Posted July 15, 2009 Posted July 15, 2009 I'm not sure what you mean - could you elaborate on that thought? Yeah I will elaborate. You are too transparent. You overshare. You negotiate. You are a pushover. You are enabling her behavior. Stop providing her with answers. Stop providing solutions. Set up your case with lawyers to take full ownership of the home and custody. Be in a legal position to destroy her. All the while, you should be quiet. Positive. Absolutely non-readable, quiet, mysterious. A positive demeanor? Does this make sense?
Author FoolMeAgain Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 WTF that is disgusting. .... she has the audacity to call the OM right in front of you, dude you are a better man than I. I swear I would have made her eat that cell phone chip by chip! lol. Is she leaving? yes or no. I wasn't clear- I am still snooping and I got to listen to the recording of a phone call she had--- She still doesn't know, that I know about OM #3 A call to him in front of me? She'd be wearing her phone as a butt-plug!
Author FoolMeAgain Posted July 15, 2009 Author Posted July 15, 2009 Yeah I will elaborate. You are too transparent. You overshare. You negotiate. You are a pushover. You are enabling her behavior. Stop providing her with answers. Stop providing solutions. Set up your case with lawyers to take full ownership of the home and custody. Be in a legal position to destroy her. All the while, you should be quiet. Positive. Absolutely non-readable, quiet, mysterious. A positive demeanor? Does this make sense? Opposite of what I've been doing. Brilliant.!!! What I doing is not working (obviously even to me) Plan B -- and I'm pretty sure if I read this thread again, It's been suggested already. Thanks for taking the time to slap me upside the head
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