Shams Posted June 1, 2009 Posted June 1, 2009 I met this guy during my business trip. We started flirting to each another. On one evening, after a party he started to kiss me. I stepped back becuase i was only wanting to flirt with him. However, after several tries we did ended up kissing... but very short & brief. I stopped it because i was in dilemma. I was attracted to him but i'm not sure if i want to take it to next level flirt to fling. Well, i do have a boyfriend back home.. that's where the dilemma comes in. The new guy i met has a different personality from my boyfriend. Is not that i fallen out of love with my boyfriend, but there's a spark between me & the new guy. Back of mind, i am thinking if its just a holiday romance while i'm here... y not? But this is so not me... i've been faithful all these years. That's why it makes it so difficult for me. And at the same time the excitement is there... Now, i'm kinda worried to see the guy in case he is going to make further advancement from where we left. Should i still see him? Is it OK if its only for this period of time? And after the trip i just go home & be guilt free? What do you people think?
reservoirdog1 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 You can justify it a million ways to Sunday. But if you continue things with the business trip guy in any form, you're a cheater. And yes, you should feel guilty about that. Your BF is no doubt at home, missing you and awaiting your return. Exactly how fair do you REALLY think it'll be to him if you go home to him and give him some other guy's sloppy seconds? I don't think you're really as clueless or doubtful about this as you let on. I think you know perfectly well that what you're contemplating is cheating. I think that you posted hoping to find somebody who'd tell you it's all fine. Well, sister, it ain't. If you want to fyck another guy, at least have the decency to break up with your BF first. At least do him the respect of not going home to him and sleeping with him, and risking him getting crudded up from having sex with a secretly cheating GF. If you cheat and give him a disease, frankly, you're slime.
lostsunsets Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Would you mind if your boyfriend cheated on you? If you don't, and say "I can live with that". It will tell you just how far you've sunk. So long as you're OK when you look in the mirror and see skank, go for it.
Bejita463 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 You can justify it a million ways to Sunday. But if you continue things with the business trip guy in any form, you're a cheater. And yes, you should feel guilty about that. She already kissed him. In my world, even that is cheating.
mark982 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 if you feel the need for "new excitment" then you owe it to you bf to cut him free.guys at home waiting,and loving you and you wanna do this?your boyfriends waaaay to good for you.
reservoirdog1 Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 She already kissed him. In my world, even that is cheating. Agreed. Good point.
Dexter Morgan Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Is not that i fallen out of love with my boyfriend, but there's a spark between me & the new guy. thats because he is attractive to you and....well.....new. sorry to say, you're gonna have more times like this if the newness of a bf wears off. best for you not to have a bf. Back of mind, i am thinking if its just a holiday romance while i'm here... y not? Say it isn't so?? A cheater trying to justify what she did? If this is your mindset, break up with your bf and don't make any committments. You can't handle committment if you can justify cheating like this. But this is so not me... i've been faithful all these years. That's why it makes it so difficult for me. And at the same time the excitement is there... its called the 7 year itch. Some people have to scratch, others don't. Now, i'm kinda worried to see the guy in case he is going to make further advancement from where we left. Should i still see him? only if you break up with your bf first. then you can do whatever you want without screwing someone else over. Is it OK if its only for this period of time? And after the trip i just go home & be guilt free? No to the first question, and I'm sure you will eradicate any guilt, if you have any, since you try to justify it as a "summer fling". What do you people think? I think you need to tell your bf, then break up with him and set him free from you.
norajane Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 How is f*cking another guy behind your bf's back different if you're on holiday and away from home, than f*cking a guy behind your bf's back when you are at home? Why would you think cheating away from home is ok, but cheating at home is not? Is it like calories don't count if you're on vacation? Meaning, is this just a stupid rationalization to do what you want even if you know better?
2sure Posted June 2, 2009 Posted June 2, 2009 Temptation such as this will always be around. A fling is the easiest thing in the world to come by, a quick fix for lonliness, an ego boost, fun, etc. ALWAYS AVAILABLE. So, its not as though this is a special once in a lifetime chance. If you are going to cheat, you have to decide that you are a cheater. Which is fine for some, but a lot of people struggle with it.
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